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By Kirsty Gordon

Romance / Drama

Chapter 1

Alex just arrived at the doors of Litchfield. Everything felt different. There were a lot of new people, as she searched for her prison family. She saw Yoga Jones, Big Boo, Morello and surprisingly enough Nicky. 

"Good to have you back Vause" Nicky smiled. Alex smiled. She had missed Nicky ever since she was thrown in Max. 

Alex grew a bit worried when her eyes scanned the room for a blonde with blue eyes. Nicky sighed.

"Where's Piper?" Alex asked as her eyes scanned their emotions. Everyone remained quiet. 

Morello spoke up "Alex....." She sighed. "Piper is in Psych" Everyone looked anywhere but at Alex's gaze. Alex's heart started beating really fast. Only a small whisper left her mouth.

"Why? How? When?" Was the only questions she could get out.

"After I got back, she went mental after your accident" Nicky replied still not looking at her. 

"We tried to calm her down but she just broke" Morello continued.

"Yeah she was a mess" Yoga Jones replied also not looking at her.  

Alex gulped " Does she know i'm alive?". 

Everyone looked at Alex with sorrow eyes. "No." everyone said at once. 

Alex felt guilty. She shouldn't, Piper cheated on her and broke her. But she didn't deserve to be thrown into psyc much less not being able to know that she's alive. 

Nicky could sense that Alex was struggling a little. " Sorry for no good news on your first day back Vause".

Alex just started walking to the library. Nicky watched her leaving knowing she needed space. 

With Piper in Psych.

Laying in the fetal position on the cold stone floor. Shivering. Mumbling words over and over. It was no surprise they sent her down here. She was acting like she was possessed. 

"Chapman! Diner!" He would yell at her.  She would shudder at his contact as he would drag her to her spot.  Piper had lost all sense of humanity. Everything was a blur. She had lost track of time. Only constant thing in her life right now were the nightmares. She keeps reliving the moment she found her bleeding out and unconscious. Piper blames herself. It was her fault. If she hadn't of called probation officers Alex would be a free woman and she wouldn't be lying in a coffin somewhere. Piper just prayed that she'd be buried with her mother. She has nightmares about her mother as well. Dianne just yelling at Piper. She deserved it. Any yelling and she deserved it. Piper was a mess. Such a mess that she made Gollum look normal. Piper's usual bright blue eyes had been replaced with grey blue. There is no life in her soul. Piper was dead. She would sit in her broken bunk and stare at her tattoos that weren't healing due to her constantly picking at them till her deep red blood would ooze out with the green gunk that followed. They gave her medication but they couldn't cure a broken heart. 

Staring at the food she'd have flashbacks of insulting red and her troubles in her first month at Litchfield. She would remember being starved out. "I deserved it" She repeated 100 times as she shook violently with her frail hands digging into her head. Her memories good or bad would hurt her. Everything always came back to Alex. She'd hear her in her nightmares piper shut her eyes tight. Piper was mental. There was no sign of her being allowed back up the hill any time soon. After dinner she was thrown back into her cell where she would scurry into the corner and lay back down into the fetal position.  Piper would see flashbacks of her in Paris. With Kubra. He used to rape her constantly. He didn't see why a woman of her body should be dating a woman like Alex. Funny Larry always said the same thing. Piper wanted to be with Alex. Piper in the middle of the night would scream for Kubra. She wanted him to kill her as well. Piper wanted this to be over. She had written a letter. But never sent it. She'd read it over and over. When the pain got too much she would attack herself till she bleed and the blood oozed. 

Piper was broken. Piper was gone and in her place lived this creature. Nicky had always said once you go to psych you rarely get out, if you do you're never the same as when you went in. Piper knew not to think about Nicky. She'd picture her fucking Alex. Piper screamed. Digging her nails into her head. Shaking. The doctor ran in and shot her with a needle. A sedative. He left her lying on the cold floor. She fell unconscious with her blood slowly oozing out of her self inflicted wounds. The drug wore off quickly as her body had often rejected the medication.Her body refused her peace. Her body refused help.  She'd sit up and start humming to herself. Staring into thin air, the cycle continued. 

Back up the hill with Alex. 

She laid in her bunk, staring up at the ceiling. She'd cursed out Piper all day in her head. But everything led back to that painful guilt. She remembers the time Piper came out of SHU and how fucked up she was then. Psych was a whole nother ball game. Alex knew she wasn't going to be Chapman when she came back up. If they ever let her come back up. She let her mind wander into thinking about how she is and what she's doing right now. Alex skipped meals. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. 

"Pipes why must you be so inevitable to me" Alex sighs as she looks at the empty space where her little spoon used to lay. She faced the wall and tried to get some sleep. She just prayed Piper would come back eventually. 

Nicky, even though she hated Piper for what she had done whilst she was away. She hoped as well that she would come back. Nicky knew Piper just as well if not more that Alex. Piper was suffering and Nicky knew that. Nicky knows what she's like when depression takes over. She just hopes she's not done anything stupid down there. Nicky missed her Blondie and she especially missed Vause's smile. 

Piper took a deep shaking breathe as she handed the letter to the guard. It was addressed to Nicky but with instructions for her to mail it out for her. When the guard had walked away. Piper's eyes rolled into the back of her head. She fell to the ground. She was having a seizure. The alarm was pulled. Guards and the doctors rushed in. They tried to control her. Piper lashed out she started screaming and wailing in pain. The doctor had no choice but to heavily sedate her. With that Piper's eyes grew heavily. 3...2..1...She was out like a light. 

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