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The Pondering of Team Asuma

By Blue_Heart_Burning

Humor

The Pondering of Team Asuma

Ino, Choji and Shikamaru were lazing on a hill of the outskirts of Konoha. Shikamaru was laying with his hands behind his head, every so often gaining enough energy to gaze at the clouds drifting by, whilst Choji was sat crossed legged as he munched away on the snacks they had brought on their little picnic. Ino was sat with her ankles crossed outstretched in front of her resting back on her elbows as she watched the flowers sway in the breeze. She was in deep thought.

"Hey, guys." Ino stated as she looked away from the flowers and towards her two team mates. The sound of her voice caused Choji to stop snacking and face her as Shikamaru cracked an eyelid open, deigning it too troublesome to open both, and looked towards Ino.

There was a moment of silence before Ino flipped her long blonde hair back over her shoulder and pushed her fringe behind her ear. "About Naruto…" She trailed of looking off to the side slightly.

Shikamaru sat up watching Ino intently, Choji followed suit by placing down the snack he had. If Ino was worrying about their energetic friend and sounding this hesitant, something must have been wrong. When the silence stretched a bit as Ino chewed her bottom lip, Choji spoke up.

"What about Naruto? Did something seem wrong?" There was concern coating Choji's voice as he focused on Ino.

"Well, it's more Naruto and Sasuke actually." Ino said looking at the two boys again.

"Well, what is it?" Shikamaru urged his voice coming across bored, belying his worry and concern for the blonde boy when it concerns the Uchiha.

"Well, don't you think it's kind of weird how … obsessive Naruto is over him? I mean," Ino paused at the confused looks. "It's just, I know anyone would want to bring back their friend no matter what, and I really want Sasuke back, but I'm not obsessing over it. You know?" She questioned them. She didn't leave them the time to reply before she continued on. "I have a life outside of finding and getting Sasuke, even Sakura does! And she's head over heels in love with him!" Ino exclaimed throwing up her hands and sending pointed looks at the boys.

Realizing the girl was in the middle of a rant, the boys didn't try to answer.

"Not to mention the fact that Sakura understands doing what's best for the village and knowing that if it comes down to it, we'll have to accept Sasuke has to be stopped, no excuses! Even if it means, even if it means he'll have to be killed." Her voice dimmed as she looked down after the last sentence. She then looked up, determined to get her point across. "But Naruto," She stressed. "Naruto won't accept it, there's no reasoning with that moron! He refuses to believe that Sasuke has had some sort of mental break down, and not only is he dangerous – to everyone! – but it would be more merciful to stop him from going so far over board that he'll do something he regrets and then go through the whole self-hate, angsting self-destruction that'll ruin him more!" Ino breathed out. "So, I have come to the conclusion, that we don't know everything there is to the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke." She nodded decisively before looking at the boys inquiringly, looking for confirmation to her findings.

Shikamaru sighed. "What a drag." And then proceeded to flop back to his previous decision and watch the clouds whilst Choji nodded his agreement and started eating his snacks again. Ino looked indignant at the blatant lack of interest being shown. Before she could speak up, Choji did.

"You know, Ino. No relationship is understood." He ate a mouthful crisps. "I mean," He swallowed when he realized how muffled he sounded before starting again. "I mean, can you really understand all the different bonds and connections and the depths in it all? No, you can't. No one, not even Sakura, knows Sasuke as well as Naruto, just like no one knows Naruto as well as Sasuke. Nor their experiences. See?" Choji looked quizzically at Ino waiting for confirmation. Ino nodded. Shikamaru had turned towards Choji at some point in his explanation and decided to take over.

"Ino," He started, gaining the girls attention. "No relation can be defined. Not only that, you know Naruto feels with everything he's worth. He'd refuse any order to kill anyone of us. Not to mention, Naruto is determined that if he has to kill Sasuke, which will be the case because he is the only one strong enough to face him, then it'll be a mutual death blow." Shikamaru sighed and closed his eyes, turning his head to face the sky again. "It's not obsession Naruto feels. It's a need. A need to save his precious person at the cost of his own life."

The three were silent as they sat and thought everything over for a moment.

"See! That's what I mean!" Ino suddenly burst standing up and pointing down at Shikamaru. "I don't think it's just that Sasuke is Naruto's precious person, because he always claims to love Sakura! I think it's a cover. Who he really loves, is Sasuke." Ino nodded to herself, confident in her hypothesis.

Shikamaru and Choji just stared at Ino.

"Hey, Shikamaru. It does make sense, sorta." Choji pondered. Shikamaru raised a brow at his best friend in bewilderment. "They say you pick on the person you like when you're a kid. Naruto and Sasuke were always at each other's throats, but always stood up for the other when it was needed."

Shikamaru appeared to think it over. However, before he could come to a conclusion, Ino had one more question.

"Who do you think bottomed?" To which followed two horrified males crying out.

"Ino!"


Naruto was in a training session with Kakashi-sensei and Captain Yamoto. Sakura and Sai had been watching from the tree line again. It was going normally, with hundreds of Naruto Shadow Clones all trying to achieve the same thing. However, something unusual happened.

From the forest came the sounds of running feet. The sound caused everyone to pay attention as Ino, Shikamaru and Choji followed by Kiba and Akamaru, Hinata and Shino as well as Tenten, Neji and Lee came into view. Sakura and Sai came to join them as they stood panting in front of the three in the middle of a training session.

"Guys? What's wrong?" Naruto questioned confused just as Sakura and Sai reached the group.

After Team Asuma had begun to think about it, things seemed to become more cemented than just a mere fleeting thought. They then became insatiably curious as to the answer of Ino's rather intimate question. This then led to the members of Team Asuma running through the village to find Naruto. As they were on the opposite side of the village to where they knew Naruto would be training, they had to stop and explain to every one of their friends that they came across just why they were running to Naruto. The curiosity was too much to handle, therefore leading to them all joining Team Asuma on their quest for the truth – or just being dragged along by those who were curious.

Ino was the one who got down to business. "Naruto!" She cried between panting breaths. "This is serious, and we need an immediate and truthful response!" She demanded straightening.

"What's up?" Naruto looked around at his group of friends as everyone seemed to lean closer in anticipation. The entirety of Team Kakashi stood looking confused and concerned.

"Naruto." Ino stated. "Were you the top or bottom in your relationship with Sasuke?"

"Huh?" Naruto grunted, beyond confused.

"Naruto!" Kiba growled out. "Did you do Sasuke, or did he do you!?"

Sakura's and Yamoto's eyes grew wide as they pieced together what they were saying. Sai remained just as confused as Naruto whilst Kakashi's visible eye began to glint evilly at the conversation.

"I still don't understand what you're asking." Naruto scratched the back of his head smiling sheepishly. The group groaned in annoyance.

"Hey Naruto." Shikamaru stated. Naruto faced him curiously. "Have you and Sasuke slept together?"

"Huh? Yeah, loads of times." Naruto stated confused. Everyone's eyes widened. "Mostly on missions, but a couple of times after training too, why?"

Sakura became bright red. She was right there! And she hadn't noticed! How did she miss that? She thought to herself.

Kakashi looked positively lecherous.

"So who topped then!?" Tenten and Ino cried impatiently. Tenten having pushed forwards in her anxiety to find out the gossip.

"Huh? Oh, well, it depends." Naruto scratched at his right cheek as he thought about it. "Usually me though. Sasuke liked to hold me, I guess."

"Oh, my god." Was spoken by several people among the group.

"Sometimes he'd be kinda upset though, and he'd be on top then. He snuggled up to me a lot when he was upset. Otherwise it was me. Apparently, I have too much energy no matter what state I'm in and he decided to just stop pushing me away."

"Dude." Kiba said. "I can't believe you had sex with the Ice Prince Uchiha and he let you top." He stated in disbelief.

Naruto's eyes grew really wide. "What!? Why would you say that! I never had sex with Sasuke!"

"But you just said you did!" The girls and Kiba protested.

"I've slept with him, not had sex with him! Guys! We were twelve the last time we were around each other for a long period of time!" Naruto was waving his arms around him.

There were sighs among the group. Varying from disappointment to relief.

"Wait." Ino said. "Sasuke's a cuddler?"

A groan filled the air as a new topic of curiosity befell the group of teens.

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