Fluttershy's Path (Part Two): The Princess Police
Klaus bartz aho!
"Well, I guess now that that's accomplished," said Rarity, picking up from where we last left off, "we can continue with our mission!"
"Wait, what will the Mauds do now that their leader is gone?" Fluttershy reminded Rarity, pointing to the Maud Pies in the church who were now grinning bored and weird smiles in light of their new identities. "Don't they need help?"
"We all need help." the Mauds replied as philosophically as a stone mason who grew a huge beard after an accident with pottery. "But I think it's time we said goodbye. We only cared about solving Chrysalis' murder because we thought our leader did. But now, we'll each find our own purpose by ourselves. Thanks for giving us all the therapy we need for now, we'll remember you."
"Then without further ado…" Rarity said as she walked over to Pinkie Pie, did the same spell she did on Luna earlier, and left a strange scrap of paper in her suit. "Yeah, we've waited long enough. Farewell."
The group left the church and prepared to continue their quest.
"AH!" Luna interrupted the gang's continuation. "Before we go anywhere, let me establish that I am the highest-ranking member of the IDPD and your leader as such!"
The group stopped and turned to Luna.
"Good," continued Luna, "now that I have your attention, I would like to establish that I am your superior and I will lead this mission! Everyone, get behind me!"
The group shrugged their shoulders, deciding to let Luna get her way as they walked behind her and prepared to follow the way she would lead. As Luna began to walk north and yonder, so did the group. They started walking and walking and trodding and toiling and leaving footprints in the ground, and walking and occasionally flying over stuff Rarity didn't want to dirty her hooves on, and walking into a car Rarity turned herself into with her robot alicorn god powers because she was bored, and driving in said car, and Sky going…
"Hey!" Sky went as he looked at the map Luna was holding (he and Fluttershy were in the backseat, Luna was in the passenger's seat, and a mini minivan-version of Rarity was driving in the driver's seat). "Something's not right with that map…"
"What do you mean?" Luna asked. "How is it not right? Is X not marking the spot or something?"
"I'm afraid there's a much bigger problem than that…" Sky replied, not picking up on Luna's sarcasm. "That map shows us where the orb is in the Crystal Empire region, but not where the orb is in the Canterlot region! Is there a reason for that, or am I just being me again?"
Luna played with her hair upon noticing that Sky was right. A dark blue dot on the map indicated where the orb was in the Crystal Empire region, but no dot showed up in the Canterlot region. It seemed that some unknown force wanted the group to venture to the Crystal Empire before Canterlot...but for what reason?
"Like you would say…" Luna said in a mysterious-like tone. "Why is not doing the same on both? That's really queer."
"Uh...I'm feeling so bored…" Rarity groaned robotically, being her own kind of Maud. "Sorry guys, but I think this car is just about to crash."
"Crash?" Fluttershy intervened. "But if you fall asleep at the wheel, doesn't that mean the car will…"
"Arrive uninvited?" a mysterious new voice chimed in as the car window to Rarity's left shattered, letting in a bunch of wind. Everyone in the car's attention immediately turned to the culprit, two back hooves belonging to...Shining Armor! "As princess of this town, I humbly request you to stop this vehic…"
With that, the car swerved and smashed into a metal pole as it let itself into the big city area of the Crystal Empire. The group wasn't in a parking lot this time though, despite having a car now. They were in a meter zone where cars parked on slopes. Since the car had abruptly docked itself on the slope, it rolled down and smashed into the front of the car that was now behind it. On the plus side however, Shining Armor fell off the left side of the car in the midst of the chaos and was now rolling down the slope in the street like a top that had a baller performance in an arena of rocks.
"Uh...I'm feeling so dizzy…" Rarity said as she transformed back into her robot alicorn pony self, causing everyone in the car to fall in the street on their butts hard.
"Never mind me and the others…" Luna selflessly ignored her pain before she ignored everyone else's. "Anyways, we have to pursue that ne'er-do-well. He called himself a princess, the highest authority in any Equestrian reality! If he doesn't have the orb, who else could possibly have it?"
"His mother, I'd bet." Rarity joked, cocking her right arm into a sword while Luna began readying two enigmatic dark-blue guns.
"So we're going to follow him?" Sky said, thinking he couldn't go wrong by stating what had already been made clear.
"Ha ha, no." Rarity proved him wrong. "WE'RE as in LUNA AND I'RE going to follow him. We may like you kids, but you only deserve points for heart, not experience. After what happened last time, I'd rather have you two shy guys sit this one out. Trust me, I'm the god of time, and if there's anything I can't stand, it's a repeat of something I can't stand."
"Please stay put until we return," pleaded Luna. "If you see anything suspicious though, notify us and we'll report back to you straight away."
"Alright…" Sky replied in disappointment. "I guess we'll be alright with that…"
Luna and Rarity went down the slope as Sky went over to Fluttershy and sat down, feeling down.
"That was worse than the sound of a well-functioning vacuum…" Fluttershy gave a critical analysis. "Does being around them make you feel like you suck too?"
"Celestia told me I did that at the bank she robbed for the training exercise I had to pass to be an officer…" Sky responded gracefully. "But I stayed away from the lollipops she was taking, so I don't know what she was talking about. It was really weird."
"Yeah, I don't understand it either." Fluttershy continued reviewing their situation. "Why do we think and act so...differently from others? Is it because we try too hard to be like them? Is it a paradox? Or is it because...we're a paradox?"
Suddenly, Fluttershy and Sky's eyes lit up as something dawned on them…
"I think I know what you're onto…" Sky said as he felt a familiar presence from before. "And I also think what you're onto...is onto us."
Sky's suspicions were confirmed when a shadow exuded from his body and came onto both him and Fluttershy…
Meanwhile, with Rarity and Luna…
"Ugh...where in the world of Discord's hell is he?" Rarity complained. "We've been searching for ten minutes now and I'm getting tired."
"Oh shut up Rarity," whined Luna, "this should be nothing compared to the kind of waiting you had to do during your test to become a police officer."
"Oh, you mean the one where I had to sit in a waiting room in a children's hospital while Celestia robbed the place of its free suckers?" Rarity recalled. "Yeah, I cheated on that test. I stopped time for everyone but her and I and then went out there and beat her up before she came by the room to taunt me for being such a sweet little tool."
"Wait a minute, you beat up Celestia?!" a surprised Luna exclaimed. "You were just supposed to get her at gunpoint and "arrest her"! Not only should you have immediately failed for that, Celestia can't be that weak…"
"At least you didn't say I can't be that strong," replied Rarity. "But yeah, she begged me for mercy as soon as she saw my shuriken and blade. Then after spouting some crap about how she would have beaten me if she had her wine with her, she let me pass the test."
"That...doesn't make any sense, yet…" Luna began to ponder. "I think it might tie in with something that does make sense."
Once those words were said, Luna was promptly hit in the face with a pair of blue, white-laced panties. Luna gave a bemused look as they fell to the ground.
"And would that thing happen to be…" a voice belonging to Shining Armor cackled. "A beautiful prince?"
A figure stepped out from behind one of the cars on the slope, revealing himself to look almost exactly like Prince Cadance. The only real difference in appearance was that she was wearing a police officer uniform and a badge with the initials "D.M.C.P.D." (Dimensions May Collapse Police Department) engraved on it.
"Wait, weren't you a princess and Shining Armor just a bit earlier?" Rarity asked in confusion. "Be consistent with the times, man!"
"Man?" Prince Cadance replied with a laugh. "What man? I'm a woman, a cross between a woman and a man. And yeah, I don't care that it's confusing. Womaman and manwo just don't sound that good."
"Enough surfer slang!" Rarity bellowed. "I don't care who you are or what you did to make yourself who you are, so long as I make you what you should be!"
"Ooh, a control freak." Cadance said, knowing this was the god of time. "Your kind are always fun to watch getting out of control. Especially if it's HIS control you're trying to get out of…"
"You know the One Who Knew All the Frames of Life?" Rarity replied obliviously as the panties that had been thrown away had magically (hint hint) crawled over to her and found their way onto her robotic virile freeman. "Oh…"
Rarity looked down at the panties constricting her and had a bad feeling of what was to come.
"Let's see how you like being just a few forms of a man…" Cadance giggled to herself. "TRANSFORM!"
Rarity tried to reach into her fur for a scroll with a reality-bending or time-bending spell on it, but it was too late. Bound against her will, she morphed into a variety of manly robot things, including a train, a plane, a submarine torpedo, a rocket, and a pretty pink pony princess...with a moustache. Rarity whimpered in embarrassment. Watching with interest, Luna snickered to herself, feeling Rarity did deserve this a little.
"Alright, enough cocking around," said Cadance, tired of the many roles she had given Rarity, "it's time to see how you bang!"
Cadance promptly turned Rarity into a pair of white-blue handguns and grabbed them. She then aimed them at a smiling Luna's head and fired. Luna immediately ducked and jumped in the air like she was on the moon.
"Now I can finally take these babies out for a spin…" Luna made a catty remark as she rotated her dark-blue guns from earlier in circles like they were the moon. She began firing them while spinning them relentlessly as the recoil sent her spinning and landing a short distance behind Cadance, who had tried to shoot her again while she was in the air. Turning to face Luna, the two princes pointed their guns at each other.
"So it all comes down to a stand-off…" Cadance surmised.
"Yes…" Luna replied. "A stand-off you've already lost."
Suddenly, Cadance lost her stance and began to wobble all around as holes formed all over her body. She collapsed on the ground, becoming nothing more than a pile of bullet caps. In the middle of the pile, all that remained were the Rarity handguns, the panties, and another orb. No longer under Cadance's magic, the Rarity handguns turned back into Rarity and the panties became a Maud Pie-gray color. From the orb, Shining Armor's spirit appeared, with Cadance's spirit right beside him, giving the appearance that they had almost been fused together.
"You saved me," said Shining Armor and Cadance at the same time, "thank you. Allow me to introduce myself properly this time. I'm ShiCadinganceArmor. I was with the DMCPD before I was used in one of Chrysalis' BMS experiments and implanted with an immorality chip. While I'm glad to be free, there's a few things I don't understand. First of all, how did that work?"
"I think you already know it's obvious that these aren't ordinary handguns." Luna looked up to her audience. "They're my special Magic Eater guns, enhanced by dark magic that allows me to convert whomever they target into ammunition. So when I'm going trigger happy and wasting ammo, I'm not hurting myself, but my adversary."
"What a terrifying weapon…" Shining Armor and Cadance replied simultaneously. "You're definitely from the IDPD...but what I don't understand is why members from the IDPD are here. You two weren't even surprised when you saw me, a fellow officer, trying to kill you."
"It's simple really," said Luna with a sneer. "Rarity here and I already know everything from the immorality chips to what Celestia's really trying to do…"
"What Celestia's...really trying to do?" Shining Armor and Cadance individually asked in confusion, as they never knew what Celestia was really trying to do…
"We're well aware that Celestia doesn't give petrified crap about finding out who the murderer is…" Rarity explained. "Her real reason for wanting us to collect the orbs is so the power that they've lost can be restored...and once that happens, she'll..."
Just then, Rarity was interrupted by a strange voice...uttering poetry!
King Sombra Proudly Returns
Hello everypony, I am back
I'm not here for revenge
I'm not here to attack
Why am I here? It's a mystery, like Stonehenge
No I lied, I'm going to strike back
Because I know Rarity stole my ring
Get ready for some flack
Why are you gone now? I've taken you under my wing…
And with a flash of shadow, Rarity and the orb were gone.
"What the…" Luna said as she looked all around. "Where did they go?"
When she ran back up the slope to investigate further, she was treated to a peculiar sight in the distance. Rarity was in the form of a robot truck with a shadowy aura exuding from her, and King Sombra was inside her truck form starting her engine. As he drove away in the Rarity car, Luna could also see Fluttershy in the rear windshield, tied up and trying to say something that was muffled by a piece of duck tape on her mouth.
"Ssshhhiiiiittt." Luna uttered. "I never thought he would go this far…"
Meanwhile, inside the car, the orb was rolling around the floor trying to spell out a message…
Kill...er...s have ….a cod…..e