The Dark Sky's Path (Part Two of Three): Banana Sandwich, Apple Bomb
The shadow paladin has tread the paths of good, evil, and neutrality…
Once the mission was accomplished last time, the Dark Sky members decided to examine the ghostly blue orb.
"So these are the orbs Celestia was talking about…" Hoops reminisced. "If what the shadow paladin said was true, collecting these and keeping these from Fluttershy should be a pointless pursuit. Yet I can't help but feel it's worth a try…"
"There's something about this orb that seems really familiar," said Ghost Rainbow Dash, "yet I can't put my invisible fingers on it."
"Do you think it's the fact that it's the same color as you?" Dumb-bell hinted.
"No, can't be." G.R.D. replied. "I put my fingers on myself all the time, regardless of color."
Everyone gave G.R.D. a weird look...
"I...didn't hear that." Dumb-bell sternly refused the proposal his ears gave to his brain.
"Oh you guys and your idealogically sensitive humor," Robot Alicorn Pinkie raced ahead to give a response like a chicken crying over sleeping through the sunrise the day he had to run a marathon. "The reason the orb is the same color as the ghost is because she was the main reason you were able to defeat Robot Alicorn Twilight with her diversion, simple as that. In exchange for saving her from hurting any more innocents, I'm sure R.A.T. will be more than happy to provide Ghostie here with vital information about what we need to do if we can get that lock removed."
Now R.A.P. was the one getting weird looks…
"You're...pretty informed for someone who's not the wittiest tool in the lightbulb closet." Hoops remarked. "How do you know all this?"
"I was given my resources…" R.A.P. explained with a smile. "Discord was more than happy to tell me the whole story after he and Rarity gave both the World of Creation and the World of Evolution new life...or should I call them by their original names, the World of Dark Sky and the World of the Transcending Dark Sky?"
"Oh?" said the Dark Sky members, slightly stunned by this revelation they already kind of knew about.
"I can feel your shock…" R.A.P. replied. "Even as a machine, the truth was hard for me to accept. The truth that we're all just pawns to be used in Discord and Rarity's project."
"Pawns?" Dumb-bell asked. "But we came here of our own accord…"
"Exactly…" R.A.P said. "You came here of your own accord...because that's what Discord and Rarity wanted to happen in this reality. They re-created this world and revived the Robot Alicorns as orb-carriers to test you guys and see..."
"..." Score interjected silently.
"Yeah, didn't Rarity already tell us something like this?" Dumb-bell pointed out. "Do we really need to hear the same explanation again only with Discord?"
"N-no," R.A.P. replied, "this is a different explanation. You guys may have been told some things, but you don't the whole truth about…"
"I don't know much about this Discord guy other than that he came over to Fluttershy's house and Celestia's castle a few times to get his tax forms filled out or something like that." Derpy interrupted as she informed. "But what else do you want us to know about Rarity? She's our trusted boss, a ninja, a bender of time and reality, and a friend of the Spirit of Chaos. I think that's all we need to know."
"You...wouldn't make a very good cyborg." R.A.P. demeaned. "You don't understand that…"
"Hey!" Derpy took offense. "That's not really nice, I'd make a great machine! I'll have you know that I run really well! It's a skill that helps my fellow agents with all of their operations!"
"We're not those kind of agents Derpy, we're deliverers of music…" Hoops intervened. "Just because we're employed by royalty doesn't mean that we're spies on a secret mission for the government or something."
"So am I still explaining something important to you guys, or…?" R.A.P. opened up possibilities like a soup chef camping out under a bell tower.
"I think it's the latter." G.R.D. decided.
R.A.P. just stood there in silence thinking to herself.
"Now I know why I chose these guys for the plan…" she said in her mind. "They make better tools than machines!"
"Well thanks for telling us what we wanted to hear," said Hoops with gratitude as he put the orb in his fur pouch, "but we have a mission to accomplish. Celestia told us to get her the orbs if we could find them, but that's only a side quest."
"Yeah." Derpy followed up as the gang started walking away. "We still need to find Fluttershy! Even if we can't stop one outcome, we'll find another way to stop another outcome!"
"Wait!" R.A.P. yelled out to the group as she ran and flew up ahead of them.
"What is it?" the Dark Sky members asked calmly as they stopped and put their hooves down in the dirt trail.
"Can I please...join you guys?" R.A.P. pleaded. "Now that I'm good, I really want to stop the other evil robot alicorns of this world! They're in the city right now harassing and killing innocent civilians!"
"Wh-what?!" they shouted in surprise. "Are all of them there?"
"Robot Alicorn Fluttershy was sent to the World of Creation," explained R.A.P., "and I don't know where Robot Alicorn Rarity is. But I know for certain that Twilight and I arrived to this world with Robot Alicorns Applejack and Rainbow Dash. If you let me come along, I can brighten the dark path on the way to the city and even guide you to their hideouts...what do you say?"
Dumb-bell, Hoops, Score, and Derpy slightly knocked their heads in thought before turning to G.R.D.
"What do you say, Rainbow?" they asked. "You are the leader now that Fluttershy isn't here…"
"I guess," G.R.D. assumed like she assumed her position. "Just make sure to stay out of my way. I'm not afraid to go through you if I have to…"
"I guess that would...feel somewhat uncomfortable…" R.A.P. gave the ghost's remark some weight. "Anyways, time to lighten things up!"
R.A.P. pulled a grenade launcher out from her metal innerworkings and fired a flash grenade into the dark city. As the grenade exploded and lightened up the place, the sound of screaming, cars crashing, and bat ponies complaining about eye pain could be heard in the distance.
"HEY! HEY!" some bat ponies started yelling. "DO YOU MORONS HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?! IT'S NINE O' CLOCK IN THE MORNING! WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP IN HERE! WHO THE HELL DID THAT?!"
"Oh crap…" R.A.P. muttered as bat ponies started flying out of the city and heading towards to where they were to investigate. "Everyone, stay low, and keep qui-"
"Hey wait a minute," said Derpy, "I remember now! You must have been the one who threw the grenade when we first came here!"
"What was that?!" one of the scouting bat ponies responded as he faintly heard some of the conversation from the distance. "Is there somebody there?"
"Freaking damnation!" R.A.P. cursed. "We have to go banana-sandwich!"
"What does that mean?" the Dark Sky members asked.
"!" the scout bat pony who overheard them reacted when he came closer and saw them. "IT'S THOSE GUYS! The ones Applejack wanted! Everyo-!"
The scout was interrupted by a laser blast from R.A.P.'s horn that sent him flying.
"It means we force our way through by any and all means, duh!" R.A.P. sassed as she put her grenade launcher back inside of her. "What do you think I meant, to go banana-split?!"
The group ran down the now visible and well-lit trail and into the city, with bat ponies following right behind.
"For as long (actually not too long) as we can remember, we've kept this world nice and dark…" the bat ponies hissed as R.A.P. tried to fire lasers of light back at them with little avail. "You shall not make our work more difficult!"
"Guys, forward and ahead!" G.R.D. announced to the group as she pointed straight to a bar with a sign up on it that read "Applejack's Open Time". "I think that's R.A. Applejack's hideout!"
"Ha ha mwa!" the pursuing bat ponies guffawed. "What are you going to do, ask our leader to help you hide from us?!"
"Wait, wasn't R.A. Twilight your leader?" Derpy asked an intelligent question.
"Not by a long shot!" they continued their gloating. "We've always been working for R.A. Applejack! The waiters from the restaurant were just spies! Gwa ha ma!"
"So you were just using her from the start!" Dumb-bell scolded.
"Why so austere?" the bat ponies kept laughing. "Don't tell me you've never betrayed the trust of an evil creature."
"The betrayal of evil does not create justice!" Hoops shouted.
"Heh heh, I think we're about done here." the bat ponies said as they stopped chasing the group. "We've gotten our entertainment out of you. We'll let our leader handle the rest…"
R.A.P. and the Dark Sky members soon arrived at the front door of Applejack's Open Time as the chase concluded.
"And for the record," R.A.P. established as she panted from the running, "I did not throw that grenade! Twilight did! I was the restaurant in the building the entire time, R.A.T. just stole my weapon!"
"Wow, what a turn!" Derpy remarked at the sudden twist of old events. "We solved the mystery! ACCOMPLISHED MISSION, gang!"
"Hold the celebration Derpy," said Hoops, "we're still only on part two of this thing."
"So part two of our current mission is defeating Robot Alicorn Applejack?" Derpy surmised.
"You could...say it like that." Hoops replied with a smirk.
"What are we just doing standing here?" Dumb-bell interjected. "Shouldn't we be in the bar?"
"Technically no." Derpy said. "The drinking age is 21, and everyone in our group except Rainbow and R.A.P. is 22. We're overage."
"Derpy…" R.A.P. responded as she facehoofed. "What you said was wrong, and no one cares about it. Besides, I have a strategy to deal with this mechanical monstrosity that involves just me going in the bar."
"Oh?" the Dark Sky members said. "Do tell."
"You guys will wait out here," elaborated R.A.P.., "while I go inside the bar and engage R.A.A. alone. Once I've weakened her, I'll lure her out here. Those bat ponies who saw us together haven't made it over here, so they shouldn't be expecting you guys if it's just me. And even without a surprise attack, I'm sure you can handle her when she's weak with your power. Are you okay with that plan?"
"Rainbow…" the Dark Sky members said to their leader, awaiting her say.
"I suppose." Rainbow Dash decided. "If it saves me the trouble of coming up with a plan, I'm all for it."
"Good." R.A.P. replied. "Now get back…"
The Dark Sky members went over to the right side of the building as R.A.P. began to open the door. It was a wooden door with a knob, and the knob's other side was a bar that was styled to look like something straight out of a Western science fiction movie. Everywhere, there were metal tables, metal chairs, metal ropes hanging from metal support beams on the ceiling, a huge stack of metal barrels of apple whiskey and beer mixed together behind the bartender's counter, and wooden windows. The employees in this place were businessmen wearing white shirts with ties, black pants, and cowboy hats, who delivered drinks in strange wooden mugs and bottles to the normal pony customers.
The manager of this place was right out in the open doing her managing work at a desk next to a uniformed bartender with her backside facing the front door. She was Robot Alicorn Applejack, and she wore white panties around her rear, as well as a white bra around her robot breasts.
"Well howdy Pinkie." R.A.A. greeted with her rear facing R.A.P. as she walked in and shut the door behind her. "How's Twilight been?"
"Your sense of humor's worse than mine…" R.A.P. responded, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. "I know the spies from the restaurant already told you what happened."
"Your smart mouth is worse than mine…" R.A.A. complimented the intellect of R.A.P.'s piehole. "I know all about this little "project" of Rarity and Discord's...do you see me trying to brag about it to outsiders?"
"!" R.A.P. had that emotion. "So R.A.T.'s not the only robot alicorn who knows…"
"Yes…" R.A.A. replied as she put her managing work where R.A.P. could clearly see it. "And I'm not going to die by the hooves of those fatheaded numbskulls outside on purpose just because it's my destiny. I'm going to go out with a blaze of glory…"
"Blaze of...glory?" R.A.P. reiterated as she read what R.A.A. had put in front of her…
..W-day is approaching, today is our last chance.
We can't call for help, just alcohol.
Troubles are a-poaching, like a bad romance.
Don't even yelp, just fall…
Fall, fall out winter boy.
Finish, I don't care about the type of booze.
Fly, just know that the eagles are not coy.
Fail, a loss we didn't choose
R.A.P. then looked up at R.A.A. as she realized what this poem meant…
"Yeah, the tools outside have a destiny, but not you…" R.A.A. said as her horn began to light up. "I know who I want to take home...TO HELL!"
With those words, R.A.A. turned to the stack of metal barrels of apple alcohol and charged up her laser beam. R.A.P. ran as fast as she could to a wooden window on the right and jumped out of it. Before the Dark Sky members could ask what was going on, she transformed into a giant pink train coated in heatproof armor.
"GET INSIDE!" the Pinkie train as she opened her door. "THE BAR'S GOING TO BLOW UP!"
All of the Dark Sky members rushed inside the train except for Derpy, who was confused.
"Wait, don't we need tickets?" she asked.
But it was too late to ask questions. The bar exploded and blew away both the Pinkie train and Derpy into the air. Though shielded from the explosion from being behind the Pinkie train, Derpy was crushed by the train when both of them landed. The train rolled over her before it stopped motionless in the dirt, leaving Derpy flat on the ground. Applejack's Open Time was nothing more than a pile of debris and a logo. On top of the debris pile was a poster of a businessman smiling and lying down with an open briefcase and the words "Got the Files?" written on it, and below the poster, a burnt and mortally wounded R.A.A. crawled out with the poster on her face. Taking the poster off her face with a blank expression, she walked languidly over to the flattened Derpy.
"I knew it…" R.A.A. said as she looked down at Derpy and coughed. "Even if it defies everything logical…"
Derpy had been flattened classic cartoon character style. R.A.A. just breathed a sigh of depression as she pulled an uzi-like shotgun out of herself.
"I know you can't die, but I'll fight to the end…" R.A.A. said, knowing those would be her final words.
Before R.A.A. could pull the trigger, she was run over by the Pinkie train, being operated by the Dark Sky members. She got dragged under the wheels and died being crushed to pieces as she realized that she had even failed to kill the only one she thought she could kill. After the train had finished going over her, all that remained of her was the pieces of her and her immorality chip, and a dullish gray orb with another strange lock on it…