Quinn was jumping up and down nervously. She had been standing at the park since half past 12, and as 1 O'clock was nearing closer, she was seriously getting cold feet.
Don't tell me not to-
"Yes Rachel?" She had been holding her phone in her hand so tightly, that she didn't need to hear the rest of the song to know who was calling her.
"Is she there yet? Are you alright? Are you absolutely certain that you do not want me to come over? Brittany and I would be glad to come if you told us where you are, and come and support you and-"
"Rachel!" Quinn quickly interrupted her. "No, she isn't here yet, it's still 15 minutes until 1. And I definitely don't want you or Britt to come, you would pester the girl scare her off and I'd never get to know anything. So just stay put, and wait until I call you. DON'T call me again, because if you dare interrupt us then I swear-"
"Interrupt you, huh? *giggle*" Brittany, of course, had taken the phone from Rachel as she heard that.
"That's not what I meant and you know it!" But in her head, Quinn couldn't help but think exactly what Brittany thought she had meant.
No! Now is not the time to think like this! It's been a year since I've seen her, I'm still kind of angry and sad and I am NOT thinking about her gorgeous body, and those lips, and… DAMN IT, BRITTANY!
"Listen, guys, I'm going to hang up now, and I mean it: you do not call me, understood?"
"Yes ma'am!", She could hear the two say in unison.
"Good, … So, … Wish me luck?" She said the last part hesitantly. She still didn't really know what to expect.
"Good luck, sweetie. It'll work out, I promise!"
Quinn smiled. Her friends were nosy, but really great at the same time. Her smile faltered when she saw a familiar head of raven hair walk into the sandwich bar at the other side of the road.
"Thanks, but uh… I gotta go, she's here! She's here, shit!"
"Quinn, breathe. Just relax, everything will work out. We're rooting for you! And don't cross the road without looking out for cars first!"
She smiled again at that. "Thanks, B. See ya!" She hung up and made her way over to the bar, of course not without checking for cars this time.
When she walked in, she didn't even have to look for the Santana; she spotted her tight ponytail right away, and started walking over to her slowly.
So, ehm… Breathing, check… Walking over to her, check… Put smile on face, check… Stop shaking,… So not check! I can't do this, I can't do this! What am I gonna say to her? Or do? Slap her? Shake hands? I can't do this!
Quinn kept repeating her mantra in her head, approaching the other girl, who was wearing a black blouse again, slowly, when she suddenly noticed something.
Was Santana… shaking?
She stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed Santana's hands fidgeting in front of the girl, and obviously shaking hard.
Wow…, she breathed to herself, still too shocked to move. The Santana that was able to save 11 people out of an elevator, that was able to throw off an extremely heavy freaking beam, is sitting here, shaking,… Because of me.
She wasn't sure how to feel about this. I mean, it could be because what Santana would tell her would be awful, or that she was afraid of Quinn being angry, because she had every right to be, but the blonde didn't really think that. She hardly dared to hope it, but…
She could be shaking because she still likes me, right?
She was still staring at the Latina, when the other girl's entire body started fidgeting now as well, and eventually turned around.
The two girls locked eyes in shock.
Quinn was already dumbfounded, but now that they were actually looking each other in the eye, she felt as though the earth had stopped moving around her.
For the first time in a year, she could see the face she – well – loved again, and for the first time ever she could see the girl's face in daylight, without needing the light of her phone, without the rubble and the dirt.
And she looked even more beautiful than Quinn remembered.
They kept staring at each other, mesmerized, neither girl moving, almost having some kind of conversation just with their eyes.
Santana was eventually the first to feel the need to break the heavy silence.
"Uhm, hi…" she chocked out, smiling slightly at the blonde girl in front of her.
The moment she had said that tiny word, Quinn couldn't take it any longer, and this time she didn't even think about what she was supposed to do when she saw Santana again.
With tears in her eyes she went up to her, bowed down to the level of the chair and threw her arms around her.
She started sobbing when she felt Santana recover from her initial shock and hug her back.
"You're here", Quinn murmured, "You're alive… I'm touching you again… You're here!"
Santana started sniffling as well as her hands rubbed up and down Quinn's back.
"Yeah, Q…" She whispered into the other girl's ear. "I'm here,… Here to stay…"
After they sat like that for a while, neither wanting to let go of the other, they were interrupted by a small cough.
"Ehm, I hope I'm not interrupting, but if you wanna sit here, you'll have to eat something, you know. This isn't a cry bar, but, like, a sandwich bar and stuff."
Some kind of teenage waitress was looking at them with one eyebrow lifted, so the girls reluctantly let go of each other. Santana was the first to recover.
"Ugh, fine then, just make us two sandwiches, and make them to go, 'cause with the way you're treating your customers, we don't exactly wanna stay here anyways."
The waitress blushed furiously, but did take down their orders and hurried to the kitchen. Santana and Quinn went to the counter to pay, neither of them talking. Santana was obviously pissed that they were interrupted, and Quinn couldn't help but smile at the girl's adorableness.
"What?" Santana scowled, not understanding why the blonde was smiling after their moment was ruined.
"You're just too cute." Quinn smiled even brighter as she said it, whereas Santana's mouth fully hung open by now, her scowl deepening.
"Wait what? No I'm not!"
"Sweetie, you're totally pouting!", Quinn chuckled.
"I am not!", she said, whilst obviously pouting.
"Really?"; Quinn answered amusedly, "Then what do you call this?" She said the last part while rubbing her thumb across Santana's pouty lip.
The Latina suddenly blushed at the touch, and was glad the waitress chose that exact time to come back with their sandwiches so she could pay and get away from the intimacy. The effect Quinn had on her was seriously to great, and even though she loved it, it had been a really long time she had been craving that touch, and besides: she knew she couldn't win the discussion.
After she had paid for both their sandwiches, not listening to Quinn's protests, they went to the park together and sat down on a bench, looking out on the pond.
They at in silence for a little while, but Santana pretty much stopped eating at some point, and started fidgeting. Quinn noticed but didn't say anything for a while, until it became obvious that Santana wouldn't stop worrying, so she decided to just confront the girl.
"Just say it, San…"
The Latina almost literally jumped in her seat at Quinn's voice. She snapped her head towards the blonde, eyes wide open, and opened her mouth, only to close it again. She kind of looked like a fish, but this time Quinn didn't even feel like laughing at her.
"Just relax, S… It's just me, y'know?" Quinn threw her an encouraging smile as she said that, tilting her head to the side. At that, Santana looked down to her hands, still holding the stupid sandwich. She put it down next to her, focused her eyes back to her hands in her lap and sighed.
"It's not just you, Q… It's you… What I'm about to tell you… It's pretty hard telling anyone, so I usually don't, but just because it's you… *sigh*… This is so hard…"
Quinn swallowed. She was getting nervous now. Santana still refused to meet her gaze, and she talked so softly that the blonde could hardly understand anything she said. But she had already decided that whatever Santana said, she would be able to get through this, so she grabbed the girl's hand for support.
Santana looked at their intertwined hands in surprise, swallowed, and started her story.
"You remember when we met? In that elevator? The way I was dressed, y'know,… invisibly?"
"Yeah, I remember… You said you didn't want people to see you, because you were being a geek." How could she not remember that. Santana had blushed furiously when she had told her. It was kind of cute.
"Yeah, well…" Santana started fidgeting with her hands again. "That was not the only reason I wanted to be invisible."
Quinn frowned at that. What did she mean?
"I didn't want to be seen there, but not just because I'm a total nerd, but… I couldn't see anyone, I didn't want to talk to anyone I knew, they couldn't see me, because… I knew I might never see them again, and I figured that if I talked to anyone, I'd probably just break down…"
Quinn's frown deepened. What was Santana talking about? Was she supposed to move away or something? She did look kind of sad when I first saw her, but…
"San, what do you mean?" Quinn had to ask when Santana went silent again.
The Latina sighed deeply, and looked Quinn in the eyes for just a second as she went on.
"I had a brain tumour, Q… They discovered it that morning, and I was… It was pretty serious… I was supposed to go in for surgery that afternoon, but… things happened."
Quinn looked on in shock as Santana turned her gaze back to her lap and started telling the story.
I can't believe this…
Santana was walking away from the hospital in a haze. This could not be happening. When she had gone to the hospital a week earlier with a severe headache that had been bothering her for a while, she had not expected this to happen…
She remembered the doctors words vaguely. How she should have come after the first week of headaches, even if she didn't like hospitals. How her work was no reason for her not to check up after a month of headaches. How after the first time she fainted behind her computer she should have come in for a check-up. How it was urgent now, and that she had to stay in the hospital so that they could have her surgery at 2pm.
She was glad she got them to let her outside until then. She had to tell them where she was going, just "out to clear her head" was apparently not a good answer.
They act like I could drop dead any second now, fucking- Ugh… It's not their fault, Lopez, it's yours.
She figured she might as well go to the mall in that case. She had told them she wanted some comics, for when she "woke up". It was wishful thinking, really. She knew the odds of her waking up were small, but the books would at least let her forget about everything for a minute.
Or I could just forget about everything after surgery, y'know. All my memories and shit. My languages… Damnit!
She kicked a can in front of her angrily. Forgetting her memories, fine. She didn't have all that many good ones anyways. But forgetting her languages… She had worked so hard at them, they were the only things she was any good at, and now she could forget them? Hell no!
It's a good thing I'll probably die anyways, I guess…
Her shoulders slumped again and she continued walking. She checked her hood again before thrusting her hands in her pockets. She really didn't want to meet anyone right now. Her friends, her colleagues… She thought about them.
So maybe I do have a few good memories… Shit…
Meeting Puck or Sam right now would probably kill her. Or Mercedes… She was honestly hoping none of them had decided to come to the mall today. She hadn't cried yet, and she really didn't want to cry right now.
When she entered, she looked to the floor as she went straight to the elevator and headed to the basement. She knew where she wanted to be and sighed deeply as she entered the familiar comics-store.
I'm gonna miss this place…
She browsed through the comics like she always did, but this time she didn't give herself a limit. Who cares about money at a moment like this anyways.
She grabbed a couple of the most flashy looking books, and paid for them straight away, completely filling up her backpack as she had done so.
When she walked out, her mind was on the money again. Not on the money she had just spend, but on the money for the surgery.
I can pay it, I guess, but what happens when I die? Do they go to my parents to get the thing paid? Ha, they'll be happy to see 'em coming. 'Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, but the daughter you have refused to talk to since you kicked her out 5 years ago has died and we need someone to pay for her costs. Could you…? No?... 'K, thnx, bye.'
She laughed a bit to herself at the sad thought. Her parents had kicked her out when she was 17 because she had been forced to come out of the closet, and their peanut-brains hadn't been able to handle it.
She stepped into the elevator with a sad look on her face, and hung her head low as she thought of what was to come now that she had to go to the hospital… She saw a cute blonde looking at her, smiling, and she smiled back without thinking, before quickly looking away again.
Wow, Lopez, smooth… About to die and thinking of flirting with a hot blonde, just… genius…
Her shoulders slumped even more when she thought that, and she didn't even feel like bitching to the obnoxious dude in a suit who was talking annoying business in such a loud voice that she thought she could feel the elevator shake with the noise.
Shit, that's not just the guy's voice!
She thought this just as the elevator crashed down. Without thinking anymore, she saw the blonde about to make a nasty fall, and decided to just jump at her and broke her fall.
Her arm hurt right away, but she kept her left arm around the blonde to keep her steady.
That was close… Too close. It's a good thing it doesn't matter if I'm hurt anymore, I'm already broken anyways.
She stood up, helping the blonde as she did so.
She listened to the group of scared babies, but she just couldn't bring herself to be afraid. She was about to die anyways, whether in surgery or here, what difference did it make?
It was only when she saw the blonde close to tears after checking her phone, that she thought she had to do something. She didn't know what it was about her, but that girl deserved to get out of that hell-hole. So Santana would make sure at least that girl would get out. She stepped up when her decision was made, and got angry at the other idiots that were surrounding them.
"ALL OF YOU, BE QUIET!"
Quinn was in tears. She was looking at the Latina, who still refused to look up from where their hands were linked.
"You… You had… You were… dying? And, for me…? Oh my god, I… I didn't…" She squeezed the girl's hands even tighter and took a moment to breathe and think.
She sniffed away a few tears before she went on… "But… How…? Why did you… go? Why… How… are you here?"
A/N: Sorry for only posting again this late! I'm working on a thesis and it is NOT going well. But I do really prefer working on the story, so I'll probably post another chapter somewhere today or tomorrow. I'm working towards the ending now, so I kind of feel like stopping right after she explains things, but I'm not sure if I should. My head is already working on another story, two actually, but I don't want to start them until I finish this one. Stopping the rant now, hope you enjoyed reading, cheers!