It was very surreal. It was one of those things you had maybe heard about in passing, but never really considered that it might concern you in the future. It wasn't like Hiroshi had never heard of men who liked other men. He might've lived in a small, backwoods town, but he was a 21st century teenager - there were ways of learning about unfamiliar things. Hiroshi was almost positive there weren't any people like that where he lived - at least not in his town. Because something like that would be nearly impossible to hide amongst these people who chatted and gossiped constantly, and within the day everyone would learn your business. The littlest things get picked up and spread like wildfire.
But... was it too much to say that this is what Hiroshi was? Handa Seishuu was the cause of an unending amount of joy - days would instantly become better the moment Handa was in his presence. The corners of his mouth couldn't help but upturn when the calligrapher made small talk with him. His heart pounded a little faster if their arms or hands so happened to brush against each other. When Hiroshi wasn't around Handa he was thinking about him. When he left his house he already couldn't wait to go back there again.
Hiroshi may have never felt these feelings before, but only the truest of idiots wouldn't realize that this was in fact - love. He might've tried explaining these feelings away at first, but even he could admit he was too deep into this overwhelming emotion to escape it now.
The first few days after Hiroshi had figured out his feelings for Handa were, to put it bluntly, agonizing. It would be a lie if he said he wasn't in denial at first. He knew he didn't pay a bit of attention in class because all he could think about was - did he really fall in love with this strange man? How could that have happened? Was he just confused? But once he told himself that yes, maybe there was a possibility he had fallen head-over-heels for Handa, it was like everything in his mind made sense again.
But how did he fall in love with a man? Hiroshi had only ever had interest in women before. He had crushes, he liked the way they looked - yet no woman was ever capable of making his heart flutter like Handa Seishuu could.
After embracing the fact that he did, in fact, fall in love with Handa, it might have resolved his problem with his true feelings - but it only added a slew of other questions.
Was he gay? Did it matter? No matter how many questions he had there was absolutely no one to answer them. His father owned a computer that had internet access, but it wasn't like he was about to look up such things on there. Same thing went for the school computers. He supposed he could go into town one day and try the internet cafe, but wasn't that a little embarrassing?
Kido Hiroshi had absolutely no idea about what he should do about falling in love with another man. He assumed it wasn't as easy as falling in love with a woman - because what if Handa wasn't interested in men period? Honestly, it was highly plausible. Would he react negatively if he ever found out and hate Hiroshi for life? Hiroshi wouldn't be able to take it if Handa became disgusted with him. How does a man who falls in love with another man deal with everything?
At this point, Hiroshi was wishing that he had heard a rumor about someone being gay in town - maybe then he'd actually have someone to spew his guts out to.
But just because he had these strange, new feelings for Handa didn't mean he was going to avoid him. Why would he avoid the person that made him feel strangely warm and happy? Even if it did confuse and slightly irritate him, not seeing Handa wasn't an option. He had already figured out that being separated from him was no good.
Again, Hiroshi knew he was already in too deep to go back now. But he did know one thing - he was definitely far from ready to confess his feelings to the other man.
"Are you going to stay over and study today as well?" Handa asked as Hiroshi walked in and set down that day's dinner on the counter.
"Yeah, if y'don' mind," Hiroshi opened up the cabinets to grab a couple bowls.
"Not at all!" Handa said cheerily awaiting food.
Hiroshi had eaten at Handa's house every day the past couple weeks. He began to more often bring ingredients instead and cook there because he enjoyed the way Handa would praise his cooking. He would try to teach Handa how to cook the dishes, but Handa would just end up being distracted or not listening very well. Hiroshi knew it was futile to try and teach him even the simplest of recipes, but he didn't mind spending the time with him.
"How 'bout we have nabe tomorrow? 'S startin' to get a bit chilly," Hiroshi suggested as they both sat down at the table to eat.
"Ah, sounds great," Handa's face seemed blissful as he dug into his food.
"Everyone'll prob'ly come over if they so much as hear 'bout it so I guess I gotta bring a lot o' ingredients," Hiroshi knew the girls would probably devour anything with beef in it.
"Too bad it can't just be us two," Handa said casually as he chewed his food.
"Huh?" Hiroshi raised an eyebrow.
Handa shrugged, "Honestly, its been pretty nice having you over so much lately. Ah, its not just because you bring me food though," he laughed lightly. "I guess... because you're just good company? Or you're the closest in the village to my age? Or something..." Handa tapped his chin in thought.
Hiroshi could feel his face slightly heat up, "I ain't a bother?"
"Of course not!" Handa's eyes widened in slight surprise at the accusation. "If I were to be truthful, it might have taken me a while to warm up to you, but now I feel like I could even consider you a friend. You've already done so much for me since moving here - I owe you a lot."
Hiroshi glanced over at Handa to see a big, genuine smile across his face. The look in his eyes seemed truly sincere, almost innocent. It made Hiroshi's chest clench slightly.
"I-It ain't nothin'," Hiroshi's eyes darted away after a few moments and rested his head on his hand to hide part of his face.
"Oh, I've never seen you acting shy before! Is that what it takes to break that tough front of yours? Nice comments?" Handa poked Hiroshi's arm across the table and giggled at his own discovery.
Handa acted like such a child and was even immature at times, but even then Hiroshi liked that side of him. Maybe he liked that innocence and carefree attitude. Maybe it was that that made him want to take care of him.
"Knock it off!" Hiroshi grumbled and swatted Handa's hand away.
"Hehe," Handa seemed pleased with himself that he was finally the one not being made fun of.
"Jeeze, you ain' act much older'n Naru sometimes," Hiroshi scoffed and stood up from the table. "I'm gonna study now so don' bother me," he picked up his book bag and went to sit in the corner of the room with a small lamp.
"Fine, fine. I have to get back to working on this piece anyway," Handa gathered the bowls on the table and took them to the kitchen.
It was pretty common for Hiroshi to begin his school work after they ate and for the two to not say another word to each other until he was done and ready to leave. Both of them concentrated on what they were doing, so it wasn't an awkward silence at all. In fact, knowing that each other were in the same room working just as hard seemed almost pleasant and motivating. Plus, for Hiroshi, just being able to be near Handa was good enough for him.
The two sat there like that for a good while, the only sounds were brush against parchment and textbook pages being flipped. The ringing of Handa's phone cut through the quiet atmosphere.
"Hello? ... Oh, Kawafuji!"
Hiroshi glanced up to watch Handa's back.
"Mm, its going alright... Huh? Really?" Handa straightened up. "When? ... Eh, so soon?" Handa frantically searched the mess on his table. "Uh huh... Right..." Handa grabbed for a piece of paper and pencil that he managed to find and quickly jotted down something. "Alright, see you then." Handa ended the call and let out a long sigh.
"What did Kawafuji-san want?" Hiroshi asked, trying to not sound too interested.
"He's coming here to visit the day after tomorrow. He said my mother has been badgering him about coming to check on me ever since I returned..." Handa grumbled.
"Are you a momma's boy or somethin'?" Hiroshi snickered behind his textbook.
"No! She's just... really worried for no reason," he let out a huff and picked up his brush once again. "Honestly, what is she so frightened about me getting involved with on this island?"
'I bet she didn't expect a guy to fall in love with her son,' Hiroshi thought, laughing a little cynically to himself.
"It looks like he's coming alone this time too," Handa added.
"Bet you're glad t'see your friend again," Hiroshi went back to looking at his notes.
"Well, its not like I haven't seen him in a long time," Handa's brush hovered over the paper. "There aren't any upcoming competitions or deadlines right now though, so I guess it'll be less like a business trip and more like a vacation for him."
Hiroshi couldn't see Handa's whole face, but he could tell that he was a little happy about Kawafuji coming to visit. It made sense, it was the only friend Handa had back in Tokyo that Hiroshi had heard of.
He wondered if he could ever make Handa feel like that...
"I think I'm gonna head back home," Hiroshi said, standing up and gathering up his things.
"Alright. See you tomorrow," Handa waved happily.
"Mhm," Hiroshi held up a hand and made his way out of the house.
It worked out a little that Kawafuji was visiting Handa for a few days when he was, because Hiroshi's baseball team practices had gotten more frequent and longer with the upcoming season. It wasn't like baseball was super serious in his school, but the few games they had per season were enjoyable enough and it was a good way to see people from out of town. Plus baseball was a good sport to vent everything out during and forget everything else going on in his life.
Hiroshi decided he was going to tour a few colleges and check out a job fair in Tokyo. It was a bit nerve wracking to know that he'd be leaving the quiet town to go to the big city, but it was also pretty exciting. There was a whole world lying outside of the island for him. Now more than ever was his chance to experience new things.
But then he remembered the conversation he had with Handa not so long ago. About how dating someone from the island would just be troublesome in his decision about whether he should leave it or not. Handa wasn't from the island, but now that he felt so comfortable living here, would he ever leave?
Hiroshi shook his head and scolded himself. What was he doing already thinking about a future together with him? He was almost positive that there was no way Handa felt the same way about him. It was painful to admit, but it was highly improbable that it would ever work out between them. Hiroshi couldn't even bring himself to confess because of it.
It sucked falling so hard for someone who was so close yet so out of reach. At least, Hiroshi felt, they could probably keep in touch. Both of them had grown closer and were on friendly terms. Maybe if Handa just remained in his life he'd be happy enough...
"Damn, tha's depressing," Hiroshi sighed and adjusted his bag on his shoulder.
The sun was starting to set once practice had ended and now it had gone completely down, only the moon, stars, and a very few number of streetlamps lit the road.
"I wanna see him now..." he continued to mumble to himself.
He wasn't sure if he'd be welcome over while Kawafuji was visiting so he didn't bother stopping by since he came. If he recalled correctly, tonight was Kawafuji's last night before having to leave tomorrow evening. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stop by just to say that he wanted to visit before Handa's friend had to leave.
And like many times before, his feet had taken him right outside of Handa's house. The lights were on and life could be heard from inside the house. They were probably doing something for Kawafuji's last night there. Maybe it was better not to disturb them...
But Hiroshi still found himself knocking against the sliding door. He could've just invited himself in, but this situation seemed strange to do so.
It took a few moments to hear loud thumps approaching the door, then slamming wide open.
Handa's eyes squinted at first to look at Hiroshi, then they widened and his jaw dropped.
"Hiroooo!" Handa shouted and wrapped his arms around him, putting nearly all of his weight on the younger man.
"S-Sensei, you're heavy!" Hiroshi grunted as he tried to keep both of them standing upright.
It didn't take much to tell that Handa was completely drunk. If the odor didn't do it, the fact that Handa was acting even stranger than usual did it.
"Hiroooo," Handa repeated as he made no attempt to get off of him. "You haven't been by lately..." His speech slurred a bit.
"I... didn' want to disturb you 'n Kawafuji-san," Hiroshi pushed Handa against the door frame with a grunt. "Plus I've been busy."
"Hnnn," Handa pouted and wobbled in place a bit.
"Oh! Its you! Uh... Shiro?" An equally drunk Kawafuji came up to the door with a drink in his hand.
"Its Hiro..." Hiroshi replied, keeping a hand on Handa's shoulder so he wouldn't fall over.
"Hiro-boy! You come ta drink with the adults?" Old man Kotoishi was the next one to pop up. He seemed to have been the one responsible for bringing over the booze.
"Err, nah, I was jus' comin' over t'say hey to Kawafuji-san since he's leavin' tomorrow 'n all," Hiroshi wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to come here after all.
"What a good kid!" Kawafuji let out a laugh and clapped Hiroshi's shoulder.
"Hiro hasn't come by lately, does he hate me?" Handa whined and grabbed onto Kawafuji.
"How could ya do that t' Sensei, Hiro-boy?" Kotoishi commented.
"It's only been a few days!" Hiroshi retorted.
"Well why don' ya come in an' visit with us," Kotoishi invited Hiroshi in.
"I'm not sure if-"
"Yayyyy," Handa tugged at Hiroshi's arm.
In this situation it was really hard for Hiroshi to say no even though he probably should. He didn't know Handa turned so affectionate when he was drunk and that was probably... a really bad idea to be around him in that state.
But with little resistance, Hiroshi let Handa tug him into the house. It looked like the three were playing a card game when Hiroshi knocked on the door. Honestly he wasn't sure how they could even play in this inebriated state.
"These two did good'n helpin' on my farmland t'day so I've been treatin' 'em to some fine alcohol," Kotoishi said as they all plopped down at the table.
"I see... How was it workin' like that?" Hiroshi asked.
"Exhaaausting," Handa exaggerated and propped his head up with his hand, his arm resting on the table.
"Ehh I could take it!" Kawafuji said proudly.
"If I remember correctly you nearly went n' passed out after 'bout two hours there, Kawafuji-san," Kotoishi commented and Handa guffawed.
"Be quiet! I don't remember you being much better," Kawafuji slurred and made a poor attempt of swatting at Handa.
Kotoishi let out a hearty laugh, "Took 'em a while, but they did purdy good once they got it t'gether. Hiro here is right good at workin' the fields."
"Huhhh, really?" Handa turned to look over at Hiroshi.
"Well... I did used t'help Kotoishi-san when I was younger for a few bucks," Hiroshi scratched his head and averted his eyes from Handa's stare.
"'Tis a shame I can't get ya workin' fer me no more!" Kotoishi commented.
"Well, y'know, busy with school 'n all," Hiroshi shrugged.
"Hiro is really strong, huh? No wonder..." Handa grabbed Hiroshi's upper arm and gave it a squeeze. "Oh! I didn't know you were so muscular!"
"I-I play baseball now, so..." Hiroshi could feel his ears start to burn just from Handa grabbing him.
"I bet you have nice abs too. I can't really remember from when we went to the beach that time," Handa's eyes lowered to Hiroshi's stomach.
"Er, they're normal?" Hiroshi scooted away from Handa a bit.
"Hmm, I kind of want to see..."
Hiroshi's eyes widened as he saw Handa's hand reaching for the hem of his shirt.
"Um, I don't think tha's a good idea..." Hirosh grabbed the hem of his shirt before Handa could and continued scooting away.
"No fair! I wanna see!" Handa pouted like a child and crawled on hands and knees after him.
"Danggit, Sensei, there ain't no need!" Hiroshi's heart pounded as he felt his escape route end as he had back up right into a corner. "Are none'a ya gonna help me!?"
Kawafuji seemed to have fallen asleep at some point with his head on the table and Kotoishi let out another laugh.
"You two sure get along real well!" The old man simply commented.
"Kotoishi-san!" Hiroshi nearly screeched as Handa had caught up to him.
Hiroshi closed his eyes initially, like waiting for something painful to happen. One second, two, three, four, five, passed with nothing happening, just the sound of Handa breathing incredibly close to him. Slowly but reluctantly Hiroshi opened his eyes.
Way too close. Handa's face was wayyy too close for Hiroshi to feel even the slightest bit comfortable. Not only that, but Handa's face was tinted a slight pink, his eyes were dilated and watery and looking straight at him. His hair was messy but still looked so soft...
"S-Sensei..." Hiroshi said under his breath.
This was bad. This was really bad. Hiroshi could actually feel himself getting excited. He could barely keep his eyes off of Handa's soft looking lips... or his pale, smooth neck... or the fact that he could see a little bit down his shirt.
"Hi...ro..." Handa said again.
But this time his head lulled, his eyes closed, and before Hiroshi had any time to react, the feeling of pure, dead weight had come crashing down on his body.
"Bahahaha!" Kotoishi let out another hearty laugh. "Leave it to these lightweights t'pass out so soon!" Kotoishi set his hands on the table and pushed himself up. "Guess this is my cue t'leave."
"Huh!?" Hiroshi snapped out of his haze and looked over at Kotoishi.
The old man pointed at Handa who was now passed out on top of Hiroshi, "I'm 'n old man so I trust ya can handle Sensei," Kotoishi gave a smile that hid a bit of mischief in it. "Good luck, Hiro-boy!" He waved before shutting the door behind him.
"Damn old man!" Hiroshi sighed as he assessed the situation he was now in.
Kawafuji was fine where he was... he guessed. But now he had to get Handa off of him. If not to get him to a better place to sleep but so Hiroshi could keep his cool.
"Sensei, y'don' look it but y'sure weight a ton," Hiroshi grunted as he pushed at Handa's shoulders.
He finally got Handa off of him and laid him down as gently as possible.
"What a pain," Hiroshi grumbled and went to fetch Handa's futon and a blanket for Kawafuji.
After throwing the blanket over the guest, he laid out the futon next to the table. Hiroshi tried to push Handa onto it as gently as possible.
"Nng," Handa grunted and furrowed his brows as he was slowly pushed onto the futon.
Hiroshi let out a sigh when he had finally accomplished getting him on successfully.
"Some kinda adult you are," Hiroshi said quietly as he looked down at Handa.
Handa mumbled something in his sleep and let out a little snort.
Hiroshi let out a short exhale of amusement and felt himself smile slightly. Even in this messy and drunk state it was easy to tell Handa was handsome. And Hiroshi rarely got the chance to see him sleeping, so he found himself enjoying it for a moment.
"Its kinda creepy to watch someone sleep," Hiroshi said to himself, deciding that it was probably best to leave right now.
"Mmn..." Handa mumbled again, stretching his hand out to the side and resting it on the floor.
Hiroshi paused in place, his own hand hovering in the air until he slowly and gingerly grasped a few fingers of Handa's outstretched hand. Handa's fingers gripped Hiroshi's hand slightly in his slumber.
Even if it probably didn't count, it felt really good to hold hands with Handa. Hiroshi slowly rubbed Handa's knuckles with his thumb and continued to watch Handa sleep despite his own comment a moment ago. Handa's palm was a bit rough, probably from years of calligraphy, but the outside of his hand was surprisingly soft.
Handa let out a sigh in his sleep, his lips parting very slightly. Hiroshi wanted to feel the other man's lips against his so badly. He wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone he was head-over-heels for.
Hiroshi reached out with his other hand to softly brush a few of the messy strands of hair away from Handa's face. His heart began to pound faster as Handa's face slowly got close to his. It almost hurt how badly it boomed in his chest. He could feel Handa's breath against his lips. Even if it smelled like alcohol, he didn't care, his lips were so close to the man he loved...
But he couldn't do it. Even thought the opportunity to steal a kiss from the man that he may never get the chance to kiss again was perfect, he couldn't do it. This wasn't how Hiroshi envisioned his first kiss to be. He wanted it to be special, romantic. He wanted to see the smile on his partner's face and the blush of happiness before their lips met.
Hiroshi closed his eyes and sat up. He slid his hand out of Handa's and slowly stood up. He let out a long, deep sigh before turning off the lights and shutting the door closed behind him. He wondered if he could ever get over being in love with Handa Seishuu.
"I can't believe I barely remember you being there last night..." Handa pondered.
Naru and Hiroshi were there to see Kawafuji off, but really they were there just to see the airport again. And of course Hiroshi wanted to see Handa despite how awkward it felt.
"Well, both'a you were pretty drunk," Hiroshi shrugged. He could barely look Handa in the face but he tried acting normal despite that.
"Yeah... That's kind of embarrassing, I hope I didn't do anything too weird," Handa let out a nervous laugh.
"Sensei! Buy me this!" Naru came running up and holding a thimble.
"What the heck are you going to do with that?" Handa crossed his arms.
"I'm gonna give it t'my beetles as a hat!"
"That's not what its for!"
Hiroshi glanced over at the gift shop to see Kawafuji looking intensely at some of the souvenirs. Hiroshi figured that with Handa distracted by Naru it'd be a good time to slip out and pretend to be more interested in what Kawafuji was doing.
"Find anythin' good?" Hiroshi asked as he walked up next to Kawafuji.
"I'm trying to decide if I want to buy one of each or just several of the same one..." He seemed to be inquiring about some of the assorted mochi they had out for display.
"Uh, they're all pretty good I guess..." Hiroshi wondered who in the world he would be buying so much mochi for.
"Eh, I'll just get one," Kawafuji shrugged and picked up a random box.
'All of that for just one box!?' Hiroshi thought to himself.
"Enjoy your stay this time?" Hiroshi asked.
"Hmm, yeah, it was definitely a lot less hectic than last time," Kawafuji's attention was now turned onto some keychains.
"Got to spend more time with Sensei, huh?"
"Mhm," Kawafuji seemed to be studying the keychains just as hard.
"You know him pretty well, right?" Hiroshi scuffed his shoe against the floor, feeling a bit of nervousness well up.
"I suppose you could say that. More than most people do, anyway," Kawafuji answered.
"Err... What kinda person d'you think Sensei would end up with?" Hiroshi ran his fingers through his hair.
"Hm? Like get married to?"
"S-Something like that..."
Kawafuji scoffed, "If he ever could find someone to marry that is... But, if he did..." He thought for a moment. "It would definitely have to be someone that could take care of him and put up with his immature moments..."
Hiroshi listened eagerly. He knew he pretty much did that anyway...
"Someone that's going to to be patient with him... Probably someone who likes him for all his strange quirks so they can even stand putting up with them."
"Hah... Yeah," Hiroshi added.
"Eh, but Handa is a pretty pure-hearted guy, I could see him loving someone unconditionally and being eternally grateful for the person who decides to spend their time with him." Kawafuji grabbed a cutesy keychain off the rack and walked towards the cash register. "Ah, they'd probably have to get his parents approval though. Especially his mother..." Hiroshi swore he could see Kawafuji shiver a bit.
"O-Oh..." Hiroshi didn't like how Handa's mother sounded like from what he heard so far.
"But that won't be for a while. That guy is still too caught up in his calligraphy, which is good for my situation," Kawafuji smirked and paid for his stuff.
"Fine! I'll buy it!" The man in question came storming up to the cash register, slamming the thimble onto the counter.
"Woohoo!" Naru cheered as Handa dug out his wallet.
After the gift shopping everyone gathered near the gate to see Kawafuji off. They watched with bated breath as he passed through the metal detector. To everyone's delight it went off.
"YES!" Naru shouted as Kawafuji patted at his pockets to see what could've set off the alarm.
"What the heck is this!?" He yelled as he pulled out the small thimble from his back pocket.
"Gotcha!" Naru laughed.
"Well you aren't getting it back!" Kawafuji stuck his tongue out and held it out for the gate guard to take.
"Nooo! Tha's my beetle battle helmet!" Naru wailed and bolted towards Kawafuji.
The scene that unfolded was enough to make Hiroshi laugh and feel just a little better about his worries. At least he got to see Handa laugh and smile beside him.
"Oh, I forgot to say thank you," Handa said in sudden realization as they rode in the back of the mayor's car. Only Naru and Hiroshi came along so no one was getting left behind this time.
"For what?" Hiroshi asked.
"Taking care of me last night. I don't remember much, but Kotoishi-san told me he left early and both Kawafuji and I passed out on you..." Handa looked a little embarrassed. "I woke up in my futon this morning so I know you had to have put me in there, so thanks."
"Oh yeah, no problem... You should control yourself a lil' more, Sensei, you passed out right on top a'me," Hiroshi huffed.
"Eh, really!?" Handa asked in surprise, blushing slightly.
"Yeah, you don' remember that at all?" Hiroshi cocked an eyebrow.
"What was you tryin' t'do to Sensei!" Naru turned around from the front seat and glared at Hiroshi.
"I wasn' doin' anythin'! Sensei was the one harassin' me!" Hiroshi retorted.
"Huh!? What'd I do?" Handa's face reddened even more.
"What'd y'do to my boy, Sensei?" Hiroshi's dad asked jokingly.
"I don't know!" Handa seemed to be going into a panic.
"I-It wasn' a big deal so don' worry 'bout it..." Hiroshi's ears reddened as he tried to play it off. He forgot that Naru and his dad were also in the car.
"But I have to know! Did I do anything bad?" Handa looked at Hiroshi pleadingly.
"You were jus' messin' around..." Hiroshi mumbled and averted his eyes from Handa.
"What did I do, Hiro?" Handa got closer and Hiroshi was not in the mood for getting riled up at the moment.
"You were jus' tryin' to lift up my shirt, tha's all," Hiroshi leaned against the car door and looked out the window.
"Huh? Why would I do that!?" Handa said in surprise.
"Should I be watchin' out for you 'round my boy, Sensei?" The mayor laughed.
"It wasn' like that!" Hiroshi's face flushed a little more. "You was jus' tryin' to see my muscles or somethin'."
"Oh, is that it?" Handa sounded relieved and went back to sitting normally in his seat.
"Yeah... I told you it wasn' a big deal," Hiroshi also felt relief as Handa backed off.
Handa let out a big sigh, "I've been told I get a little too touchy when I've been drinking, so that really worried me."
Hiroshi glanced over at Handa, "What'd you think you might've done to me?"
Handa's cheeks flushed, "N-Nothing!" He turned his head away.
Hiroshi's dad let out another chuckle as both of them sat in the back, their faces slightly red and trying hard to avoid looking at each other.
There was no way Hiroshi would tell him that Handa was actually the one that should've worried about his chastity last night.