Confessions Of A PI: Falling for My Big Boned Girl

Chapter 1

Okay, just stay calm. You can do it. Just take this one step at a time.

I have been sitting in my second-floor office for the past hour. I am seriously dying to go out. Reason: Elizabeth-call-me-Liz- Stewart. Don't get me wrong. I love my job, I really do. But I'd so much rather be catching the action outside than sitting in my office and dealing with clients. Elizabeth here 'claims' that her husband is cheating on her with her best friend. I don't blame him. Not that she's not pretty. She's actually a knockout with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. (Which said things usually remind me of someone who I really shouldn't be thinking about) But she doesn't seem the loyal type herself, as she said she loves her husband but is constantly flirting with me. What's up with that?

"Hello, Cooper? Are you even listening to me?" she asks in her irritating flirty voice.

"Of course I am, Mrs. Stewart" I say. Because what else am I supposed to say? Oh, sorry Mrs. Stewart, I'm just thinking about the girl of my dreams and dissing you. I don't exactly want to sound unprofessional.

"Call me Liz, please" she says, flipping her hair back, "So, did you find out anything? Is he cheating on me with that slut, Beth, or not?"

"I thought she was your best friend?" I ask her, amused.

"Well duh! She is! But that doesn't stop her from being a slut," she replies, "because she totally is. Did you know what-"

"I tagged around your husband for a while," I say, cutting her off, "And I don't think he is, cheating on you, I mean"

"Are you sure"

"Of course," I reply dryly, "Here,I saw, handing her the folder for her husband, "Take a look at these pictures in the report. It lists where he went and what he did, Mrs. Stew- Liz. He never once met your friend."

"Oh," she says, barely glancing at the pictures, "okay," she says, if I'm not mistaken, a little gloomily.

"Is there any chance that he could be seeing some other girl?" She asks me, her eyes lighting up ever so slightly at the thought.

"No" I say shortly, annoyed, "He's not. I'm certain."

"Too bad" she says .

I look up at her, surprised. "Well," she explains, "I was planning on taking a divorce, and my lawyer suggested it might be easier if a cheating scandal was involved. Do you think you could produce some evidence that Andy is seeing someone behind my back?"

"No, Mrs. Stewart, I don't think so" I say stiffly, "And if you will excuse me, I have other appointments

"Sure," she says, getting up and taking her bag, "I'll see you around, Cooper"

"You wish," I mutter to myself as the door swings closed.

The day drags on slowly and I don't get a chance to go outside. Finally my last appointment for the day, Mrs. Hansen, comes in. She is an affable woman in her mid-fifties and I instinctively developed a liking of her. She came to me because her daughter had run away. I found her and convinced her to come back home. In moments like this I really love my job.

"Hey, Mrs. Hansen" I say, cheerful for the first time in the day, "How are you today?"

"Just bothered about my blood pressure, but otherwise, I'm as healthy as a horse," she replies.

I chuckle, "Glad to hear it. So, what brings you here this afternoon?"

"Wanted to see how you're doing. I haven't heard from you in a long time. How's the girlfriend?" Mrs. Hansen knows all about my roommate situation with Heather.

"I told you, she's not my girlfriend" I reply, blushing lightly.

"If you say so," she replies, smiling at me knowingly, like she can actually listen to what I'm thinking. Does she really know that a girl who really isn't my girlfriend is the one I think about most? Or that the said girl asked me out a few months ago and I turned her down and she is now dating a Greek freaking God. Yeah, you heard right. Tad Tocco, that's his name. He's her Remedial Maths Professor, and a vegan or so I found out when I met them in Zen Palate. That's when I found out she was dating him. Seriously, she didn't even bother telling me. Later, when she asked what I thought of him, I rudely told her that they had nothing in common. Now I really haven't seen her for some time, as she mostly sleeps at his house. Not that I care. Much.

"Well," she continues, "There was this thing Bill got into…"

I sigh, "Yes."

Later, I'm listening to the police scanner and thinking about her.

"A burglary committed in the east sixties..."

Why hadn't she told me? Most importantly, why am I thinking about that now?

"The NYPD has discovered the body of Dr. Owen Veatch in Fischer Hall."

My head violently slams upward in an almost instinctive reaction."The murder is reported to have occurred in the wee hours of the morning"

Wait, why does the name sound familiar? Oh my god. Wasn't that the name of Heather's boss? I've got to see her.

With that, I get up and leave to see my favorite girl.


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