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Alice Jones Series: I wanted to be in Hufflepuff!


Alice Jones, has just got her letter from Hogwarts from none other than Professor Snape. Will she master her way around the school, and will she survive in the pureblood house?

Adventure / Children
3.5 2 reviews
Age Rating:


Snape never really did like visiting muggleborns and telling them that yes, you are a wizard and yes, magic exist. Dumbledore rarely sent him to stupid errands like this but in this case, the headmaster was a little short of staff.

Alice Jones lived in Portobello Road, Noting Hill, London. She was a special case for being American. Her father, Oliver Jones happened to be well-known mathematician and physicist who received a job offer teaching in a university and as well as conducting scientific research in atoms and molecular theory's that Snape had absolutely had no idea about. Her mother, on the other hand, Lucinda Jones is but a common nurse who retired, devoting her life to her husband and children. She was originally from England.

The Jones Family moved to London a week ago and were already settling in. Knowing that they are rather well exposed to science, Snape knew that it wasn't going to be easy explaining to them that magic exist and that their daughter just happens to be a witch. He expected outrage protests of "Magic doesn't exist!" Or "Impossible!" And he would have to prepare a demonstration and they would still think that it was just a meager, old trick their so called muggle magicians perform.

No. Snape had to prepare something that would be impossible to explain with science. Maybe a transfiguration spell would do the trick. Snape thought. He would turn the father into a newt. That would surely satisfy him then.

He knocked thrice on their door and waited. When no one answered he knocked again. "Mom, someone's at the door!"Snape guessed that it was Alice Jones who yelled. Then came the reply of her mother, "I'm cleaning the bathroom right now. Be a dear and get it."

"Cant! I'm handling unstable particles!" Alice yelled back.

"Alice!" Her mother warned.


Snape could head hard and angry thumps descending down the stairs. The doorknob clicked and the door opened. He came face to face with a little girl with unruly dark hair and tired gray eyes covered by white goggles. She was rather a baby-faced; making her look quite innocent and she looked short for her age which was unusual since girls normally grow faster than boys. Her eyes darted up and down as if she was observing him not only from the outside but the inside as well.

"May I come in?" He said, glaring at the little girl who glared as well. Then her eyebrows scrunched in confusion and then she pointed out,

"Why didn't you just send the letter through the mail? That letter must be very important for it to be personally delivered but why? " She gave him a once-over, "Either I've been accepted into some cult or this is a really terrible joke." She said.

"I assure you that this isn't some joke, Miss Jones. Now seeing as how you didn't give any sort of permission in letting me in," Snape decided to step inside the house whether she liked it or not, "I would gladly do it myself."

Alice still looked at him oddly. Snape handed her the letter and said, "Open it and read thoroughly." Alice held the letter carefully in her hands and began turning it sideways, looking at the back and then the front and then she sniffed it. Snape watched her and found it rather strange for her to be doing it as if there was a bomb inside. She tapped the seal and opened the letter carefully. Her eyes widened in disbelief. Snape couldn't quite catch up to her eye movement as she was reading

"Oh," Mrs. Jones came in, still wearing gloves and was rather wet after cleaning the toilets. She was a kind face woman, still looked quite young in her 40's and had straight and fixed auburn hair which her daughter clearly didn't inherit. "Are you a friend of Oliver's?"

"I am not Mrs. Jones. My name is Severus Snape. I am in fact here for your daughter. I recommend that you call your husband. It would be better if he hears what I'm about to say." Snape said.

"Is it important?" Mrs. Jones said as she glanced at her daughter who was still reading the letter.

"Very," Said Snape.

Mrs. Jones nodded albeit reluctantly. "Let's discuss this in the living room. Would you like some tea?" Mrs. Jones offered

"It won't be necessary," said Snape.

While Mrs. Jones called her husband, Snape sat on a large leather sofa just across Alice who was squinting her eyes at him.

"You say that this isn't a joke?" She said slowly.

"I assure you that it isn't. An explanation would be provided once your father arrives because I have no qualms of repeating," Snape said.

Mr. Jones arrived quickly than he expected. He was about Snape's height if he didn't slouch, and clearly Alice inherited her unruly hair from her father. Mr. Jones looked like he had just got out of bed and had deep bags under his eyes. He wore round spectacles but still that made him fail to notice that there was clearly spilled tea from his white coat. Still, Mr. Jones looked like a smart man.

"Why, Hello," Said Mr. Jones as he approached, extending his arm. Snape, not wanting to shake a muggle's hand immediately said, "Please sit down, Mr. Jones. This would not take long,"

Mr. Jones lowered his hand, "Okay then. You don't want to shake my hand," he muttered. Snape didn't care at all and wanted this to be over with. Mr. Jones sat on the leather sofa that was facing the fireplace. Mrs. Jones sat beside him.

"You're here for my daughter," Mr. Jones said. He gave his daughter and accusing look to which she exclaimed, "I haven't done anything yet!"

"Uh-huh," Mrs. Jones said. Mr. Jones clapped his hand once and then turned to look at Snape,"Let's get this over with shall we. I can tell from the way that Alice is glaring at you that you have some very important explaining to do," Said Mr. Jones.

Snape began, "Before I do this, I would like to be perfectly clear that every word that has escaped from my lips is true. It might surprise you and you would most likely deny it. Mr. and Mrs. Jones, your daughter is a witch."

"Excuse me!" Mrs. Jones said exclaimed, sounding really offended. She probably understood that Snape was calling her daughter the derogatory meaning of a witch. Alice on the other hand shrugged casually.

"Eh...I've been called worse." She said.

"It's true," Mr. Jones mumbled absently, earning him a smack to the head from his wife.



"Don't act so casual about it," She turned to her daughter and said, "and you, young lady. I told you many times that you will tell me when kids are calling you names."

"It's not a big deal," Alice said, groaning. She clearly didn't want to be in this kind of conversation again and neither did Snape.

"And by a witch. I mean the female equivalent of a wizard," Snape continued.

"You mean Math Wizard right?" Mr. Jones said.

"No. I do not. I mean wizard: A person capable of performing magic." Said Snape.

"That's ridiculous!" Snape sighed. Here it goes, "Magic doesn't exist. It's just something people from before claimed when they couldn't find out an explanation to why volcanoes erupt or when it rains or why the local old lady has been growing warts in her face."

"Would you like a demonstration?"

Mr. Jones scoffed. He looked at his wife and gave her a you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look. Alice stayed passive and remained silent.

"By all means, Go ahead. But I warn you, my daughter can be very perceptive so whatever tricks you are attempting to pull in your sleeve, she can see through it right away." Mr. Jones told him proudly.

"Yup," Alice said, looking quite pleased with herself. Oh, how Snape will disappoint them and he was going to enjoy it. He took out his wand (oh great he has a wand. What next? A flying broomstick?") And then waved it in front of Mr. Jones who shrunk and became a bright green newt. Mrs. Jones gasped, stared at her husband and then back at Snape and then back at her husband. She was trembling.

Alice froze, but she managed to mutter impossible under her breath. Snape waved his wand again and Mr. Jones was back to normal and fully clothed. He had a wide and gaping expression on his face and he was shaking even more so than his wife.

"y-y-you...you- h-h-ow. That was...im-Impossible. I-it..." He began shaking his head and mumbling no under his breath. His wife comforted him giving Snape the dirtiest look. "Take a deep breath, honey. Follow the sound of my voice." She comforted him, rubbing circles on his back with her palm.

Maybe I should do this more often. Snape thought. He looked at Alice who was now staring at him. She wasn't flinching. She just sat there immobile like a doll with the messiest hair.

"I believe that would clear your doubts about magic." Said Snape.

Mrs. Jones went to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water. She gave it to her husband who swatted it away gently, "I know. Maybe some bourbon would be better." She stood again and went to the kitchen with her husband yelling. "Bring me the whole bottle instead Lucy!" Mr. Jones looked around Snape,"So. This whole magic thing is real?" he asked, still breathing heavily.

"Yes." Snape didn't know why he was explaining it more to the parents than Alice herself but seeing that the girl was incapable of normal speech, it was best that Snape was telling it to her parents instead.

"I really should be explaining it more to your daughter, Mr. Jones," Snape told him. "Don't worry about her. She's still processing." Mr. Jones said. His wife arrived from the kitchen carrying a large bottle of bourbon. She gave it to her husband, "Want some?—no. Good. More for me." Snape watched in disgust as he gulped down a large amount of the drink.

"Your daughter is one of the special individuals to be chosen in attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," Snape began explaining. Mr. Jones took another swig from the bottle again. Snape was once again reminded of how disgusting muggles could be, "It's a boarding school in Scotland. Term starts in September first-"

"Wait. So there's a school for wizards," Mr. Jones said, "And if there's a school, there are communities as well. So it's not impossible that there are...magical communities around London."

"And the world as well." Snape verified.

Mr. Jones gave a terrified scoff and took another swig, "magic," he mumbled.

"That's enough, Oliver," Mrs. Jones said. She forcefully took the bottle from her husband's hands, ignoring his protest. She looked round at Snape, "I'm sorry. He's not always like this. My husband rarely drinks. It's just the concept of magic existing in this universe is a bit of a shock to us¬—especially him and my daughter—Science and magic don't get along well," she said, shaking her head. She wheeled around to the side to face her to look at her daughter, "Alice is just overwhelmed. Isn't that right, sweetie."

"—mass conservation—" she whimpered, "…breaking…the…laws..."

Alice tucked both her knees on her chest and buried her face in it. She was whimpering like an injured mutt. Snape looked at the father who was doing the same as well except he buried his face on the coffee table. Snape was laughing in the inside.

Mrs. Jones appeared so heartbroken for both her daughter and husband. She placed her hand on her chest and said, "I'm guessing you want to laugh," she half-joked.

Snape's face remained neutral, "That would be highly inappropriate," he said.

"Well, you've broken their world. They need time to fix their genius minds. Alice won't be functioning for a day at least and I think Oliver is drunk. Would it be okay if you could just explain to me everything and I will tell them once they recovered?"

Snape hesitated. He wanted it to be over with. They were supposed to go to Diagon Alley today and purchase the necessary items for Alice, but seeing that the girl was not moving; not even an inch, Snape decided that it was best to continue a couple of hours from now. If he was lucky, he could ask McGonagall to do his work for him.

He began explaining to Mrs. Jones a brief summary about the wizard world and why it must be kept secret. He mentioned some laws and answered her questions about the government, and explained that she was muggle: the term wizards use to call non-wizarding folk like herself. He told her that her daughter was a muggleborn witch, that is to say, a witch who was born to two non-magical parents. Then he illuminated her about half-bloods and purebloods.

"Would it be a problem for Alice if she's a muggleborn," asked Mrs. Jones.

"There will be other students that would likely discriminate her about her blood status if she's lucky, she won't be in Slytherin," he said. Lastly, Snape explained Hogwarts, the 4 houses and cited the subjects. Mrs. Jones looked more excited than her daughter. Snape didn't know why. It was normally the child who would be giddy when they found out that

they were a witch or wizard except, in this case, Alice seemed rather…how should he put it—broken. It was sad. Not that Snape sympathized with her; he just couldn't relate. In fact, he found it rather amusing.

"Of course, your daughter can decide whether she agrees to go to Hogwarts or not," Said Snape.

"She's going," Mrs. Jones said, hastily.

"I believe your daughter should be the one to decide, Mrs. Jones," Said Snape.

"Oh no. She's going. I don't care if it's a school for wizards, Alice is definitely going. She's going to make some friends and be a normal girl-er—witch," Said Mrs. Jones. Though it sounded like she was convincing it to herself rather than to Snape, "She's going to continue and not skip a grade, and hopefully, she is going to graduate normally like a normal little girl like her mummy," Mrs. Jones forced a smile on her face.

Snape looked at her with the weirder out expression. He guessed that there was a story behind all of Mrs. Jones ranting. He wanted to ask, but it really wasn't his business.

Mr. Oliver stirred, "If we're lucky," he mumbled, sitting up and leaning lazily on the couch.

"Don't say that, Oliver," Mrs. Jones chided.

Mr. Jones shrugged, "Hey, she graduated high school when she was 10. She would probably graduate Pigfarts in 4 years—3 if she's lazy,"

"I don't believe that it's possible," Snape interjected. Sure he was astonished that the small girl frozen across him was a genius, but it was in muggle standards. "Magic is a broader subject, even more so than science, in my opinion. I've never heard of a student who was allowed to skip a year,"

What he said seemed to made Mrs. Jones glow, the woman was so overjoyed that she nearly cried, "Oh, thank you, Professor Snape," Perhaps it was better when he didn't tell her.

"I will see you a couple of hours from now after your daughter is….recovered. I am still asked to accompany you to purchase some supplies," Snape stood. He walked towards the hallway. The Jones family heard a loud crackling sound as Snape apparated from the house.

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