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Regret

By mistressluckless

Drama / Romance

Chapter 1

Harry turned in his bed, kicking his sheets down to his ankles. Sighing he rolled to lay on his stomach. He couldn't believe exactly how warm it was in the Gryffindor common rooms. Pulling off his shirt Harry dropped onto his back. Staring at the ceiling above him.

Draco's face swam before him in the dark. Smiling down at him with gray eyes filled with love. Grinning back Harry's mind went back to the last couple of hours that he'd spent curled up in Draco's arms.

He'd never felt more protected in his life. Even when he was with Dumbledore. Not only were Draco's arms strong they radiated love, a love Harry had never known nor remembered.

Reliving his memories Harry closed his eyes. Minutes went by. Suddenly there was a tap at the window.

Stirring Harry rolled onto his side, believing he'd imagined the noise. The tapping grew faster and louder, causing Harry to rise from his slumber.

Ruffling his hair Harry walked over to the window, there sat a well-groomed gray owl. Undoing the latch Harry stood back as the giant bird flew in, perching on his trunk.

Yawning Harry began to untie the letter from the bird's leg. Frowning he saw his name written, and in Draco's hand writing.

As soon as the letter was released the owl spread its wings and flew back through the open window and into the night.

Redoing the latch Harry headed over to his bed.

"Lumos" Holding his wand close Harry ripped open the envelope.

Dear Harry,

Although I have enjoyed these past few weeks together, I feel that the fun is drawing to an end. I wish to end this before it becomes far too serious; I fear you may already have believed it to be more serious than it actually is.

I'm sorry that I told you I loved you, it was careless, unthoughtful and untactful. Because I do not. I also would like to apologise for the lateness of this letter, but I thought that you'd rather receive it now whilst in your dormitory instead at the breakfast table.

I hope we can still be friends, and that you find someone else.

Draco.

Harry stared, unconsciously holding his breathe. His mind was numb, his body was numb. Less than 5minutes passed but to Harry it seemed a life time.

Suddenly the pain began to seep through from his heart into his blood and into his brain. It was shattering. He could feel it as it cracked, tearing. Beating faster and faster, pleading for life.

Harry was struggling for breathe, gulping for air.

His grip on the parchment before him tightened, collapsing at the grip. Shaking his head Harry's eyes filled with tears.

'It's not true' his mind was racing, his eyes glanced at the words, 'Because I do not' the tears began to fall.

The reality hit him.

His heart exploded, Pain, confusion, loss, hate, love, rejection and hundreds he'd never known about. Raced through his veins, drowning his brain and senses.

Soon he was blinded by tears.

Dropping the letter Harry's hands moved to his hair. Collapsing to his knees, Harry's whole body shook.

Why was this happening? What had he done!

'I thought…he said…he acted…the hugs…kissed'

Sobs left his dry lips, unable to silence them Harry allowed them to escape. Gradually they grew louder, tear falling harder, his grip on his hair tightening.

His hands dropped; slowly Harry crawled over to the side of his bed, hidden from the rest of the dormitory and its residents.

Wrapping his arms around him Harry remembered the warmth and love he'd felt in Draco's.

Lies!

Shaking his head Harry released another sob. The world around him a blur, unimportant.

Hugging himself tighter, Harry willed himself to stop.

"Stop it, stop crying, stop caring!" his voice was hoarse as he whispered.

The pain was unreal, worse than the Crucio curse. Strong as the death of Sirius, Was he not meant to be happy, to find love and protection?

Hours passed, the darkness of the night faded. Harry stayed hidden, soon his body had numbed to the pain, his heart couldn't break anymore, and there were no more tears. Harry's eyes were red and puffy, his breathe uneven.

He stared at the stone wall before him. Not seeing the texture, or the wall itself.

All he saw were Draco's eyes, his cold gray eyes. Dressed like the wall, dressed with warmer, prettier disguises. But always cold and lifeless underneath.

The sun finally shone into the dormitory, spreading across the beds and their occupants. Groans and movement were heard behind Harry. But he still didn't move, staring.

"Man I hate Mondays!" Ron groaned somewhere. The rustle of his sheets followed. This was followed by 4 others.

"I know how you feel Ron," Seamus responded. "Double potions and History of magic. But we do have a free period this afternoon 'pose"

There was a murmur of agreement. "Hey, is Harry in the bathroom?"

"No why?" Dean questioned.

"Strange, his bed's been slept in. But he's not here." The confusion was evident in Ron's voice.

"Maybe he's in the common room? Or gone for breakfast?" Neville offered.

"Yeah maybe,"

The boys dressed and left, their conversation switching from the dread of potion and to the excitement of the start of the Quidditch league.

The dormitory door shut with a snap. Harry still didn't move. The dull drown of sadness had stabbed at him all night. Though it was slowly changing, the numbness fading as his emotion pierced stronger, with hatred.

Suddenly Harry heard the birds outside. Blinking he wiped his eyes, rose slowly. Taking a deep breathe Harry began to dress.

Adjusting his tie Harry stepped into the Great Hall. Looking around Harry stopped on the table of green. And there he sat. Laughing and joking.

Gritting his teeth Harry forced himself to look away and forced himself to walk to his friends.

Sitting down Harry stared at the plate before him, he could hear his laughter, picture his grin.

Closing his eyes Harry held down a sob, his anger bubbling again.

"Harry? Is it true?" Hermione had moved closely to Harry. "Has Draco broke up with you?"

Freezing Harry opened his eyes to look at the girl next to him. He'd told people? Already!

"Harry it's okay," Hermione pulled Harry into a hug. Whispering comforting words.

Harry looked over at him. Saw his gray eyes turn to him, saw the smirk form, saw the wink.

Growling Harry grabbed his wand standing.

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