Regret

By mistressluckless

Romance / Drama

Chapter 6

Harry walked slowly, the world around him a blur. Students pushed past him, slamming roughly into his shoulders. Normally he'd fight back, swear under his breath, and react in some way. But not today, he takes one step forward before being pushed back three by the crowd. His uniform is creased, is shirt the same he wore yesterday. The same he wore all night crouched in the hidden passageway. Pulling his bag higher up his shoulder Harry stifled a yawn, his eyes burnt wishing to close. His uniform was covered in dust and dirt, his trouser more grey than black.

Harry turned into the passage leading down to the dungeons, the crowd grew thinner, the pain in his shoulder grew as more Slytherin's passed. Making sure not to miss him as they passed. Harry's mind felt too mushed to even think about caring, he'd been thinking about Draco all night. His mind demanded to rest.

"Harry!"

Harry winced at the shout, the voice causing his head to pound. His feet carried him over to his friends, Harry glanced their faces. Hermione had the evidence of dark circles growing under her eyes; Ron was paler than he remembered.

"Where have you been? We were worried!"

"I..."

"What happened last night? One minute you were behind us, next vanished!" Hermione's voice was growing louder due to her anger. Harry wished she would shut up, the pounding in his head growing. Also he was aware of the eyes now staring at them. Draco peered through the group of his friends curiously. Harry really didn't want him to know how much he'd affected him last night.

"Alright Hermione!" Harry spat through gritted teeth, Hermione's eyebrows shot up into her hairline. "Later yeah? I don't fancy spilling my guts to the whole class okay?"

Hermione noted her head slowly before edging over to Lavender and Parvati. Harry rolled his eyes; he really wasn't in the mood to deal with a stroppy Hermione.

"That was a bit uncalled for, she was only worried." Ron frowned, folding his arms over his chest. Harry opened his mouth to snap back a reply; his stopped at the door to the potions class opened. Snape stepped out, his robes swishing around his feet. Indicating for them to enter with a short movement of his head, they entered silently. Harry stared down at the stone floor as he passed the group of Slytherin's.

Ron and Harry slipped into their normal seats at the back of the room; Hermione had chosen to sit beside Seamus leaving Neville to sit next to Harry. She took out her notepad and quill and stared stiffly towards the front.

Tiredly Harry flipped open his own notepad to a blank page, he could feel his eyes drooping. The classroom was dull from the lack of windows, the air muggy from the flames and condensing water. Add in Snape's monotone voice, Harry had begun to dose. He was unsure of how much time had passed before he felt Ron jabbing into his side. Lifting his head slightly Harry struggled to open his eyes.

"Huh?"

"We've got to start the potion, best you wake up before Snape does his rounds." Ron's voice sounded distant, but his words jolted Harry awake.

Sitting up straight Harry nodded, his attention on the cauldron set up ready before him. He smiled gratefully at Ron who quickly rushed over to the busy store cupboard. Harry rested his head on his hand staring down at the parchment before him, he knew he should copy Ron's notes, prepare their station ready for the chopping required to produce whatever they where brewing that day. His eyes however lifted staring towards the front of the room where Draco sat his back to him.

"Oi!" Ron's hand appeared before him, sighing heavily Harry raised his head off his hand and looked over at his friend; Ron's cheeks were tinted red with his frustration as he began sorting through the bottles and herbs. Shaking his head clear Harry pulled Ron's notes towards him. Concentrate Harry.

Draco moved his head giving the illusion of listening to Blaise but giving himself a clearer view of Harry out the corner of his eye. Gently he nodded his head, unsure of what Blaise was saying; his entire attention was on Harry. His mind returning back to last night, the lost look Harry had when he thought Draco had left him. Left him alone again. Draco wondered how long Harry had stayed there; he'd left moments after watching him struggle with the turmoil inside of him.

"Draco?"

Returning his attention to his friend Draco raised an eyebrow elegantly. Blaise stared at him a few seconds longer before his shoulders drooped.

"Are you going to concentrate or are you insisting on failing us both to swoon over your ex?" His voice was tired, bored of his friends zoning out. Clucking his tongue on the roof of his mouth Draco swiped up his written notes.

"I was not swooning over anybody," Draco glared down at his notes wishing away the blush he knew was creeping over his face. Blaise sent his friend a look as he picked up the small knife.

"Whatever. I just thought that the whole point of dumping someone was because you no longer thought of them that way, didn't want a relationship any longer."

Draco placed down his notes, his mouth formed into a silent 'O'. Frowning he shook his head snatching the knife out of his friends hand.

"That is why you ended things with him weren't it?"

Draco pulled the herb closest to him and began chopping it into small sections, trying in vain to ignore Blaise.

"Draco, you don't feel anything for him anymore do you?" Blaise leaned in closer to his friend, his voice dropping to a whisper. Draco continued to chop his hand tightening around the handle of the blade. "Draco...please don't tell me you still..."

"Yes okay!" Draco stopped his hand, glaring down at it. "I still have feelings for him." He hissed, unsure whether he was angry with Blaise or himself. Blaise groaned stepping away.

"Then why did you dump him?"

"I...because...he..."Draco blew out air from his mouth setting down the knife. He could feel Blaise's eyes on him, piercing straight through his skin and into his soul.

"It was becoming too serious...I told...I'm not having this conversation in the middle of potions," Draco's eyes darted warily around the room, relieved when his classmates appeared too intrigued with following the instructions rather than eavesdrop into his conversation. Blaise's face wrinkled into a frown representing his disapproval of Draco's actions. He picked up the spare knife and pulled another herb towards him leaving them in an awkward silence. Pleased Draco thought that would be the end of the conversation, for now at least.

"I just hope you don't come to regret that stupid decision." Blaise muttered, Draco shot him a glare.

"Seriously Blaise, I'm not having this conversation..."

"I know I heard you! I also know that you've just blown the best thing to ever happen to you."

Draco slowly turned to look back across the classroom, easily fixing his eyes on Harry. Blaise's words sinking into him, he took in Harry's appearance, the way he'd acted over the last couple of days. Had he really blown it?

Harry and Ron held their breath as Snape peered down at their potion; they'd checked and checked again before touching any of the ingredients ensuring to add them correctly. The corner of Snape's mouth twitched and Ron thought for a moment he was actually going to praise them, his lip however moved into a sneer.

"Has this been left to stew for the correct amount of time?" His black eyes turned to them.

"Yes sir, let to stew for 10 minutes..."Colour was quickly raising onto Ron's face as Snape shook his head with a sigh.

"10 minutes of boil and half an hour stew, 10 points from Gryffindor for your incapability to read and copy instructions!" Snape moved onto the next table enabling Ron to stick his fingers up behind his teachers back.

"Why do we even bother?" Harry sighed as Ron glared down at his notes.

"Seriously how did we both copy it down wrong?" Ron had now snatched up Harry's notes and compared them, his frown deepening.

"Well I copied from you so technically you got it wrong," Harry laughed taking off his glasses to rub his tired eyes, a yawn escaped from him as he did.

"No it's your fault for 1 annoying Hermione so she refused to double check our notes and B not copying the notes whilst they were on the board and leaving everything to me!"

"Oh shut up" Harry nudged Ron playfully, "What do we have after this anyway?"

"Charms and you can apologise to her then. I'm not having my grades affected by you falling out with her!" Ron pushed Harry back a weak smile on his lips. They both quickly dropped their heads as Snap spun round, his eyes scanning the classroom. Harry and Ron shared a smile.

"That git!" Ron whispered, his head leaned in to the huddle with his two best friends. Harry had apologised to Hermione all the way to Charms class, agreeing to tell her everything if she'd speak to them again. Eagerly she'd agreed. They sat at the back of the room meant to be practising the leg lock charm; they'd taken this opportunity for Harry to tell them what had occurred last night.

"What's he playing at?" Ron waved his wand at Hermione, only managing in causing her legs to twitch instead of locking together.

"I don't know. " Harry was glad that they had charms with Ravenclaw, glad to be rid of Draco for a few hours.

"Why would he kiss you and insist on you having that top back after he dumped you?" Hermione spoke quietly; they knew it was more to her than directed at them. Harry flicked his wand and Ron's legs snapped together causing him to almost lose his balance. After a couple of seconds Harry freed him, a triumphant smile on his face.

"What would you do if he wanted to get back with you?" Hermione asked, looking at Harry as she flicked her wand towards Ron, successfully binding his legs. Harry chewed on his gum, what if Draco did want him back?

"Don't tell me you're considering it! After what he put you through? The way he ended it was cruel. You should burn that wretched top and move on. You're not short of offers Harry,"

"I don't know Hermione; it's only been a couple of days..."

"That is precisely why you should move on now! Before you fall back into your depression, keep your spirits up."

A cough brought them out of their conversation, Ron wobbled in the corner.

"Do you mind?" He pulled a face in annoyance.

"Oh Ron why didn't you just do the counter?"

"I tried!" Hermione sighed flicking her wand again. Ron's legs sprang apart. "Anyway, Cedric."

"What about him?" Harry grinned at Ron who was trying to walk again, his legs shaking dangerously.

"He likes you, why not ask him out?"

Harry pulled a face as he held out a hand to help Ron steady himself. "Maybe."

Draco groaned in annoyance as he sped up his walk, praying to leave Pansy behind him. Blaise had informed her of their conversation in Potions and all Divination she'd decided to lecture him. He'd unsuccessfully tried to lose her in her rush of students racing for the door. She was jogging slightly to keep up with him, still going on about how selfish he'd been and how horribly he'd treated Harry. Turning a corner Draco froze staring at the top of the grand staircase. Harry was stood to the side with Cedric Diggory, a flirty smile on his face. Diggory lifted a hand and brushed Harry's hair affectionately away from his eyes. Pansy paused beside Draco, following his gaze.

"Serves you right. I'm glad he's moving on."

"Shut it!" Draco spat, his breathing heaving. He could feel the jealously building up in him, images of using the cruciatus curse on that stupid Hufflepuff flashed before him. Gridding his teeth Draco was unable to tear his eyes away. He watched as Diggory leaned in closer to Harry, his lips too close to Harry's ear. Draco balled his hands as whatever Diggory had said caused Harry to laugh, a tint of pink spread across his cheeks. Draco snapped.

Marching forward Draco barged passed students gaining him sounds of anger. Slowly Harry turned to him, his smile turning into a scowl. Knocking his shoulder hard into Diggory's Draco spoke, his voice a low hiss.

"May I have a word? Privately."

Diggory glared at him. Even though Diggory was a few years older than him, they were of similar height and build, a seekers build. Draco was confident in the knowledge that if Diggory wanted to start a fight he'd easily finish it.

"Go away." Harry's eyes darted up and down the corridor, others were staring. The tension grew in the air in the anticipation of a fight.

"Har..."

"You heard him; he doesn't want to talk to you!" Diggory stepped closer to Harry angering Draco further.

"I wasn't talking to you." Draco snapped. His magic bubbled within his as Diggory moved even closer, Draco could see his hand move to wrap protectively around Harry. Reaching out Draco grabbed Harry's arm and pulled causing Harry to fall into him.

"What are you...?"

"We need to talk!" Draco dragged Harry into the crowd, too quick for Diggory to stop him. Harry let Draco drag him along the corridor, allowed his fingers to grip tightly into his arm as he tested each door they past to see if it was unlocked and empty. Eventually they found one. Harry stumbled through the door, Draco finally released him. The slammed behind them, the sound rebounding in the large room. Harry only had to glance once to know they'd come across History of Magic, unsurprising it was unlocked, it held only dusty old books that no one but Hermione took the liberty of reading. Harry's eyes caught a single dust ridden book on top of a pile, he mentally smiled, one of Hermione's light bedtimes reads.

"What the hell was that?" Draco's voice shook as he tried to stop himself shouting, drawing attention to other students. He waited, watching Harry's back. Silence was his reply.

"Well?" Again Harry made no movement, made no attempt to reply simply fuelling on Draco's anger. Growing in his throat Draco stepped forward, spinning Harry around easily.

"I asked you a question!" Draco pulled Harry closer; his hands gripped the front of Harry's uniform. Emerald eyes flashed dangerously.

"And? I don't fucking answer to you Malfoy!"Harry reached up and tore away Draco's hands, knowing using his last name would hurt. But it wouldn't hurt enough, "What I do is none of your business! The moment you dumped me you lost that right!"

Harry stepped back from Draco, pinning his hands to his sides. He could feel them shaking the result of his anger, his guilt, and his pain!

"You can't end our relationship and still expect to rule my life!" Harry was shouting, he didn't care. Draco broke his heart and was now playing with his emotions. He'd made it clear they were over, that he felt nothing for him, so why continue mess with his feelings.

"What is this Malfoy? Not hurt me enough, have to stick the knife in just that bit more?" Harry's vision was blurring and he mentally cursed himself. He didn't want to break down and cry in front of Draco, he couldn't.

Draco watched him, listened. Harry once a strong, proud Gryffindor was now just a broken man. He could see the tears building up in his eyes; hear his voice crack with emotion. Oh how he wanted to hold him, apologise for hurting him, and take everything back.

"I never wanted to hurt you Harry..."

"Don't! Don't you dare!" Harry pointed at Draco, stepping further away. Draco frowned, what had he done?

"Don't you call me that! Don't you dare ask to be friends!" Harry gritted his teeth, all other emotion dying away leaving him with his anger. How dare Draco hurt him! He knew what Harry had been through, knew how reluctant he was to love, yet he took it. Took it and threw it away as if it was nothing!

"I don't want to be your friend!"

"Then why won't you leave me alone?"

"Because I want you back! I regret ever writing that damn letter!"

"You wouldn't have written what you did if there wasn't some truth behind the words," Harry could feel himself breaking; his heart ached for him to forget everything, run into Draco's arms. Stepping forward Harry pushed Draco away, he couldn't give in. Draco's hand found Harry's elbow.

"I was scared Harry. I've never felt this way about anyone before, I was scared!" Draco pleaded. If Harry walked out of this room he knew that he'd lost him. Fear gripped his heart. Harry pulled his arm but Draco refused to let him go.

"Let me go!"

"No!" Draco pulled Harry closer; for once he didn't feel anything but grateful that he was slightly stronger than Harry. Harry pushed against his chest his head bowed. "You have to understand Harry, I lov..."

"Shut up!" Harry's head snapped up, his eyes ablaze with emotion. "Shut up! Don't say it, don't you dare tell me another lie!"

"B...but it's true!" Draco tried in vain to pull Harry closer.

"You wouldn't have done what you did if..."

"I was scared..."

"Love is nothing to be afraid of Malfoy!" Harry had stopped struggling, his fists rested on Draco's chest as he stared up at him. Draco looked down at Harry his own hands gripped Harry's top, afraid to give and slack in fear of Harry getting free and running.

"Please Harry..." Draco felt no shame in hearing himself beg, hearing his voice break. His hands gripped tighter to Harry, the fear spreading through him.

"You broke my heart Draco. I let you in and you betrayed me. After everything!" A stray tear ran down Harry's cheek, "you told me you wouldn't hurt me. You destroyed me Draco!"

Draco's hand's dropped away from Harry, the pain that swam in those emerald orbs too much for him. He was responsible for it. There was no way to hide from it, to deny it. Harry slowly stepped away until his back came into contact with the classroom door. Draco dropped his gaze as he heard Harry pull on the handle. Dropping into the closest seat Draco placed his head into his hands, he could hear Harry struggle with the door, hear his voice plead with the door to open as he muttered Alohomora over and over again.

"Draco! Let me out!"


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