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Self Sacrifice (And other oneshots)

By Cassiel16


Chapter 1

He turned to Alice.

"Can Jasper handle this?"

"Give him some credit Edward. He has been doing very, very well, all things considered."

Can you handle this?" he asked.

And graceful little Alice pulled back her lips in a horrific grimace and let loose with a guttural snarl that had me cowering against the seat in terror.

Edward smiled at her. "But keep your opinions to yourself," he muttered suddenly.

Twilight pg. 388

I stared at them confused. What did Edward mean? Now wasn't the time to be keeping things from me. I glance at Alice only to see her shake her head slightly. Something is wrong, Alice tells me everything, she told me she wouldn't lie to me.

I turn back to Edward when he moves to stand beside me.

"Bella, love, Alice and Jasper are going to be taking you away from here," He says kissing my hair and I can't help the cringe that comes when he calls me his love. I haven't been, for a while. I had fallen out of love with him. I can't be in a relationship with someone who thinks that they are damned for all eternity, someone who is depressed and controlling all the time. Aside from all of those reasons, I have fallen in love with someone else.

I can't leave, though, not after what he told me. He has been looking for someone for so long. They all say he is happier, but, and it may seem selfish, he doesn't make me happy. Not anymore.

I am brought out of my thoughts when Edward shakes my arm slightly. "Bella, are you alright? I can go with you if you are worried." He says concern lacing his voice. I shake my head.

"I'm fine. Are we leaving now?" I ask, looking down. It is a moment before he answers.

"Yes." He kisses me one last time, before he turns away. I can't help the sigh that escaped my lips and I crawl into the back of the car that Jasper is driving.

After being on the road for about fifteen minutes, I can feel Alice's gaze on me. I ignore her and pretend to find the scenery passing by very interesting. Soon I can feel her cool body pressing up against mine. She grasps my right hand in both of hers, and I can feel her leaning into me slightly. I continue to ignore her, but I can feel the tears pricking at my eyes.

One tear rolls down my cheek and I go to wipe it away but my hand is stopped by one of hers. "Bella, what's wrong? Everything is going to be fine." Alice says softly to me and I can't stop the flood of tears.

"No, it won't be, Alice. Your family is in danger because of me." I say, finally turning to her. I hear her sigh and she squeezes my hands.

"They will be fine, Bella, there is only two of them. We can handle it." She says gently, wiping away more of my tears. I shake my head and turn back toward the window. I know that they will in my heart, they are more than capable of taking care of themselves, but if one of them got hurt. I would feel so guilty, more so than I do now. "Oh, Bella," Alice says before pulling me against her, so that I am lying on her, my back resting on her chest.

We stay silent for a while, Alice rubbing my arm gently with one hand, and her other running through my hair. I know that I have fallen asleep, because when I open my eyes next, we are in a bland room that can only belong to a hotel.

I sit up quickly and notice Jasper staring at me from the chair he is sitting in only a few feet away. I clear my throat when he doesn't look away.

"Um, where's Alice?" I ask my voice thick from sleep.

"She went to get you something to eat," Jasper says, still staring intently at me. I look away, not able to hold his gaze. I glance back at him when he sighs and moves to the bed across from me. "You know that Edward and everyone else will be alright, right? When all of this is over you and Edward will back to normal." As soon as he finishes guilt rushes through me. Jasper stares at me confusedly. "Bella, why are you guilty? He is going to be fine." I take a breath to answer, but nothing comes out when I open my mouth. I just look down at the floor and shake my head, sadness coursing through me. "Bella?" I look back up at Jasper when he says my name, concern evident in his tone. If only, he knew.

"I'm not in love with him anymore, Jasper. I haven't been for a little while." I watch the sympathy and mild surprise play across his features. "I feel guilty because he still loves me… and I don't want to hurt him. Like all of you keep saying, he is so much happier. I don't want to ruin that." I say looking down again.

"I thought something was different." My head snaps back up. "I can feel emotions, Bella. I could sense when you stopped loving him… but there was always this… adoration mixed in. At first, I thought it was for Edward, but then your feelings towards him changed, but that remained." He says looking at me gently. I sigh and nod, looking back at the ground. "Bella, falling out of love with someone isn't uncommon. People do it every day. If I had to guess, you fell in love with someone else and that love is stronger than what you felt toward Edward, and you couldn't help but to fall out of love." He was close really close. He was wrong only in the sense that I fell in love with someone after Edward. No, I loved them before I loved Edward.

I chuckle humorlessly and look up at Jasper. "I loved her before I loved Edward." I say and panic rushes through me when I mention 'her'. But something in Jasper's eyes sparkles as if something has clicked for him. The first real smile I have ever seen him smile stretches out across his features. Confusion laces through me, why was he happy if he knew the truth… I was in love with his wife. I blush and look down at the ground, again.

"Bella. You have nothing to be ashamed about. Edward loves you, yes, but he will get over it. The fact of the matter is that you are not his mate." I look at him but he shakes his head. "You love Alice, I know you do. Maybe you should talk to Alice about this." He suggests and I look at him horrified. I was in love with his wife. He should be angry, but here he is giving me advice. "Alice and I aren't together anymore Bella. More of just best friends really, and I guess it doesn't help that since the first day you were here people have been telling you that we are a couple." He smiles gently. I go to say something when the door opens and Alice walks through it, holding a muffin. She stops and looks at us.

"What? What's wrong?" she asks setting the muffin down and rushes over to my side.

"Nothing, Alice, just clearing a few things up," Jasper says smiling gently at her. He stands up from the bed and moves towards the door. "I'm going to go look around, maybe find a payphone I'll be back shortly." He finishes and before he steps out of the room he motions from me to Alice and mouths "talk to her".

I turn and face Alice, who is staring intently at me and I can see the concern in her eyes. "What were you guys really talking about? I haven't seen him smile like that in a while." She asks quietly. I look down, I had grown comfortable talking about it with Jasper, but telling Alice is different. A couple of minutes pass before I answer her.

"We were… we were talking about how I have fallen out of love with Edward and how I am in love with someone else." I say not looking up once. Alice doesn't say a word, worried; I look up to see her quickly wipe a big smile off of her features.

"Knowing Jasper, what did he say to do to help?" She asks and I can hear the excitement poorly concealed in her voice. I clear my throat nervously.

"He says that I should talk to this person," I say quietly and Alice nods. "But, what if they don't like me? I mean, I don't want to hurt Edward, really I don't."

"I know that you don't, Bella, but is it fair to string him along?" I cringe at her softly spoken words. "As for not liking you, Bella, they would have to be stupid not to like you. You're beautiful, intelligent and the nicest, selfless person I know. They can't not like you." I look up at her and stare deep in her eyes and what I find surprises me. I see love, affection, and kindness swirling in her golden orbs and my breath hitches in my throat. She leans closer and my heart stops. She is only inches away when the door opens.

Alice pulls back sharply and I clear my throat. Jasper pretends he didn't see anything and tells us about what is happening. "Esme is back at Forks, she said that the red head hasn't tried to go after Charlie. Carlisle and Edward lost track of the other vampire. They are going to come down here soon." He says grinning at me. I smile faintly back at him. My stomach rumbles and I look down at it in confusion. Oh yeah, I hadn't eaten in a while. I ignore the quiet chuckles from Alice and Jasper and stand to grab the muffin left forgotten by Alice earlier. I go to take a bite out of it when I hear Jasper say Alice's name with a little bit of urgency. I turn to see a blank look covering her eyes and her hand moving fervently across a piece of paper, drawing something. I move closer to see her drawing a ballet studio. A memory comes to mind and I gasp quietly. Immediately, Jasper and Alice are by my side, Alice gripping either side of my face gently in her cool hands.

"It's a ballet studio." I say quietly. "I used to go to one when I was little. The shape of it is the same."

"Are you sure it is the same one?" Jasper asks. I shake my head.

"They all look alike, the mirrors, the bar. The shape is really the only thing that reminds me of the one I use to go to. It should have nothing to do with me. I haven't been there in almost ten years and I'm not even sure the same person owns it."

"Where was it located?" Jasper questions. I pause.

"Just around the corner from my mom's house, I use to walk there after school." I stop and look between them, panic overtaking me. "Guys I have to call her!" I say moving for the phone but I am stopped by Alice.

"The lines are safe, Alice. It can't hurt." Jasper turns towards me, "just don't say where you are." I nod and Alice releases me, but doesn't leave my side as I pick up the phone.

My mother doesn't answer and we sat around for a while before I fell asleep on the couch.

I wake up and glance at the clock. Two in the morning. I head over to see Alice drawing again and Jasper watching her over her shoulder. I recognize what she is drawing.

"That's my mom's house." I say quietly behind them and they whip around to face me. Alice is up immediately, phone in hand. When she hangs up she stares at me searchingly.

"Edward is coming to get you." She then glances at Jasper and, suddenly, I feel tired. I shake my head and glare angrily and a little hurt at them.

"I don't want to sleep." I snarl and walk away, into the room adjoining this one and slam the door. For hours I sit, staring at the wall. Eventually, I come out and look only to find Alice in the room. Alice speaks before I can ask.

"He went to check out," She says sadly. "We are moving closer to you mom's house and Edward is moving you somewhere safer." I move closer to her and wrap my arms around her in a hug.

"I really wish you could come with Alice." I say softly and I can feel the tears threatening to fall.

"Me, too, Bella," She says, returning my hug. I pull back only to rest my forehead against hers. I go to speak when the phone rings. Alice has it instantly but hands it to me.

"Hello?" I ask and the panicked voice of my mother answers. "Calm down, mom. I'm fine, really." I pause when she doesn't speak. "Mom?" A new voice responds, telling me not to speak until he says and only to say what he says. He orders me to go to another room and I obey. He then says that I have to leave Alice and Jasper and go to my mother's house, there I will find further instructions. If I don't do this, or if I clue in any of the Cullens, my mother is dead.

After he hangs up I stay in the room longer, unable to move. Eventually, I leave and find Alice and Jasper talking quietly. I have made my decision; I will save my mother… no matter what. I turn to face Alice and Jasper when their conversation stops. Alice is gripping the table, and Jasper is trying to make her let go. As soon as Alice is released from her vision she turns towards me.

"Bella?" She asks and I can see the panic in her eyes.

"What did you see?" I ask as uncaring as possible, and Jasper turns to look at me.

"Same room… but the mood was different… some other plans have been made." She says staring intently, suspiciously, at me. I shrug.

"You haven't eaten in a day… do you want breakfast?" Jasper asks concernedly.

"No. I'll eat at the airport," I say flatly.

We reach the airport and my mind was desperately searching for a way out. Edward would be here in thirty minutes. I had until then to make my escape. Luckily he was exiting at the busiest terminal. With only ten minutes left I told them I was hungry. Alice immediately offered to take me, but I asked for Jasper instead. The same suspicious, searching look crossed her features.

"Alice, please," I say letting some of the hysteria I was feeling leak into my tone. Her eyes soften and she nods. I grab her and pull her into a hug. This was the last time I was going to see her. I pull the note I had written for her in the hotel and put it in her pocket. I pull back and look into her eyes. Finding what I was looking for, I lean in and gently kiss her. She kisses me back gently, feather light, but I pull away. I have to. "I love you, Alice, never forget that." I say and step back away from her.

Jasper is by my side instantly, his hand on my lower back, guiding me to the many cafes. I pretended to show no interest in the first few cafes that we came across until I found what I was looking for. I glance from the bathroom to Jasper. "Um, do you mind If I…" I trail off and he smiles weakly at me as if he knows what I am going to do.

"I'll be right here." And as soon as the words leave his mouth I head off towards the bathroom. When the door closes, I start to run for the other exit. Dying in the place of someone you love is the best way to die. I would save my mother and also save Alice with her  knowing that I now love her. I can go without any regrets; I just hope Alice will forgive me.

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