Okay, so I wasn't expecting my night to go like this, I'll fill you in.
I got to the pub with Poppy, and it took us a little longer to get there than I thought it would, it appears she's knew to the area because she had no idea how to get to the actual pub. Anyway, literally as soon as I walked in, my stomach turned, in front of me, in one of the booths, was my little Emily, but that wasn't the part that made my stomach turn, it was the fact, she was sat on Spencer's lap. Which means she was doing it willingly, but not only was she sat on her lap, there were in a heavy kissing session with wondering hands, I had to go. I'd frozen in spot.
"Naomi? You okay?"
"No, yeah, I just remembered, I have to go, I'm so sorry! Maybe we can do this another time?"
"Oh okay, is everything okay?"
"Fine, great, good yeah, just have to go! I'll call you!"
And with that I ran out the door, leaving poor Poppy there, I had to lie, I couldn't sit in that pub with Emily eating Spencer's face, it's not even like it was to make me jealous, she didn't know I was going to be there. It just hurt so bad.
I hadn't been home 20 minutes before I heard banging on the front door; I was stood hunched over the counter in the kitchen just drinking vodka, straight. It took the pain away.
The knocking carried on, I thought it might be Ashley so I just shouted,
"Fuck off, I'm not in the mood"
The knocking didn't stop, which means it wasn't Ash, she knows when I say that, that I need space.
I stood myself up and the alcohol hit me, it sent me woozy and I felt fire in my stomach. Different to the feeling in my stomach earlier at the pub, this one felt like, confidence. I was normally pretty confident anyway, but this made me feel invincible.
I made my way to my front door, wobbling and drifting, I tried to look through my peepy hole but I just banged my head,
"Oops" I giggled, Jesus alcohol really does make everything better. "Hold on", I'd bolted and chained my front door so people with a key couldn't get in – Mum and Ashley.
I eventually got the door unlocked and swung it open, but me in my stable state, lost balance and fell on my arse. Fucking twat I am.
I think, I wasn't sure, but I think Emily was at my door? What the fuck?
"What the fuck is going on with you?" Yep, it was my precious Ems.
Now, did I say anything about Spencer or just shut the door? I really wasn't in the mood to talk to her, it hurt too much. After everything that's happened, I liked her way too much to be stood in front of her, drunk, anything could happen, it was better this way. Obviously my mouth didn't think keeping quiet was the right thing to do...
"Wait! Where's Spencer darling? Manage to peel her off of your face?" ooh, okay. Wasn't expecting that.
The look on her face was indescribable. Even in my fucked up state I could see it, Hurt, Anger, Shock and it looked like she was a little bit pleased with herself, man that's fucked.
"What are you talking about?" That's it sugar, play dumb.
"I saw you earlier sucking face with that slut. And now you're here, which means you've either just finished fucking, you're on your way to fuck her or you came to rub it in, so which?" fuck yeah, I wasn't backing down and letting her in. My house or my heart.
"I actually came to talk, but fuck it, you obviously don't care." Now she was starting to cry which instantly sobered me up, I didn't want to see her hurting or crying, not because of anybody and certainly not because of me.
"Emily, wait, come back." We really did have to talk, I need to stop my shit and act like a grown up.
10 minutes later we were both sat in the garden, in silence, nobody saying anything.
I needed to prove I could act like an adult, which I was.
"I'm sorry." I was curious to see what her reaction would be...
She looked up at me suddenly as if those words were the biggest shock in the world.
"Really? Why?" Oh – she wanted me to admit everything, guess it's time to face the music.
"Because I treated you like shit, I didn't give you a chance to explain and I should have, I really like you Emily." I was being deadly serious, I really did like her, I know i'm falling for her, which is why I had to give us some space, but I just can't. I put my hand on hers, and she looked at it and bit that gorgeous plump lip, the single of the pair I wanted to kiss so badly; so that's exactly what I did.
This was so nice, it wasn't a kiss that would lead to anything more, and it was just a peck, there was no deepening it, I just wanted to let her know how I felt. She was kissing back but then I felt her little hands pushing against my chest, what was wrong?
"What's wrong?" I was frightened, frightened she didn't want me any more – I couldn't blame her, I'd been a dick, and it looked like she was into Spencer again, this relationship would be awfully complicated too, I really couldn't blame her if she didn't want this, me.
"Nothings wrong, I just need to know you're sure, that you aren't going to change your mind?" I know what I've been like but now I'm sure. I want her. And only her.
"Emily, I know I've been such a twat, but I want you, I really think this" I gestured between us "could work. I hope I haven't blown my chance, and if I have, I'll do anything to prove that I want you. I want us to be together Ems. So what-"
I was cut off by Emily kissing me forcefully.
"So what do you say? Wanna give us a go?" I was smiling, as was she, but I had pretty much just asked her to be my girlfriend, we obviously had to talk, but it could wait.
"Yeah, of course I do." She threw her arms around me and kissed me again, this time, it wasn't either of us interrupting us, I knew that voice...
"What the fuck is going on?"