Failing Her Raggedy Doctor
That's not true, Amy thought, I love him with everything I have. I love him just as much as you do. He just doesn't love me back. She couldn't let him die either, not again. The Doctor's life was in her hands. But she also knew it was River who'd have to take the larger role in the rescue. River was, after all, fighting for the love of her life. It was all making Amy's head spin and she couldn't even focus on a single thing, not even paying attention as she gave a quick summary of the situation to her newly found Rory. She was in love with her daughter's future husband. It wasn't normal. Then again, Amy never really could be defined as "normal." Not in any of her time lines that she had lived.
"Amy, uncuff me now," the Doctor ordered, breaking her thoughts. She went over and freed his wrists, staring at the back of his head. How was she going to save him from this? He was so unwilling to be saved! "Okay. I need a strip of cloth about a foot long." Before the Ponds could even get a look around, the Doctor had already started taking off his bow tie. "Never mind! River, grab the end of this. Wrap it around your hand. Hold it out to me."
River followed the Doctor's orders, mimicking his own actions to his end of the bow tie. "What am I doing?" she asked, echoing Amy's thoughts.
"Following orders," he quickly replied, "Now. In the middle of a combat zone. So, we'll have to do the quick version. Captain Williams, say, 'I consent and gladly give.'"
"To what?" Rory asked.
"Just say it!" the man barked, frantic. They were running out of time. The sharpness of his tone had surprised Rory, so he added very softly, "Please."
"I consent and gladly give."
The Doctor next turned to the one pair of eyes he didn't want to meet: Amy's. "I need you to say it too," he said, weakly, "Mother of the bride."
Amy felt a quick flash of angry jealousy that the Doctor saw but was too busy to analyze. She knew she didn't have a choice in the matter. "I consent and gladly give," she repeated, her voice flat and robotic, her eyes cold and never leaving the Doctor. Amy couldn't listen to the rest of the ceremony. She only watched.
She looked on as River looked lovingly into the eyes of the Doctor, taking what was rightfully hers, what Amy had spent so long pretending was hers. She looked on as the Doctor whispered into her daughter's ear, telling her a secret Amy wasn't allowed to know. The Doctor looked from the corner of his eye, seeing his redhead, his curious Amelia Pond. "I just told you my name," he lied, hoping it would prevent Amy from wasting time by demanding to know what he had said.
Amy instantly flashed back to the conversation she had with the Dream Lord.
"Oh, is that what you think you are?" the Dream Lord asked, sounding as if he were on the verge of bursting out laughing, "The one he trusts?"
"Actually," Amy replied with pure confidence, "Yes.
"The one girl in the universe to whom the Doctor tells everything?" he asked again.
"Yes," she hissed.
"So, what's his name?"
The one girl to whom the Doctor tells everything. It wasn't Amy. It never was, was it? How could she be so stupid to think that a kiss-a-gram from a little village would ever be the most important girl in the life of the Doctor, the greatest man in the universe?
The Doctor and River kissed, sealing their vows as another wave of pain hit Amy's heart. How many times had she dreamed of kissing him? Countless. And as the seconds slowly began to tick away, time spurring back to life, the song echoed in Amy's head, but she was too sad to pay much attention to it.
"'Tick-tock' goes the clock
And what now shall we see?
'Tick-tock' until the day
That thou shalt marry me."
Then, Amy was suddenly standing next to Rory and River on the beach of Lake Silencio, this time knowing who was in that suit, knowing that another Doctor was waiting for them, clueless about the Silence, about all of this. She knew about River being Melody, about her future as a model, about her greatest fear and her strongest faith. Everything. And as she watched the man that she loved most in all of time and space fall to his death on the shores of Lake Silencio, she still couldn't stop herself from screaming and running to him. She still couldn't stop herself from trying to shake him awake even though she knew he was dead. Because she loved him. Because she had sworn to herself that she'd find a way to stop all this. Because she failed. The Doctor had saved Amy countless times from death and the one time he put his faith into her, she had failed. Amy Pond had failed her Raggedy Doctor.
thedoctorandamy: I really had no idea what he said :P I looked it up and my options were "volatile circus" or "volatile sex." I went with the first one, because it sounded more... Correct. But I'll go look it up and try to fix it or something :P Thanks for the review!
Oh and that goes to the rest of you, too!(