What Now Shall We See?
The Doctor was on his knees, watching the regeneration energy rise up from his hands, then back to his best friend. "I'm sorry," he whispered, tears filling his green eyes. I'm sorry for making you watch this. I'm sorry I put you in all this danger. I'm sorry for letting them take your baby. I'm sorry for making you wait all those years. I'm sorry I never told you just how I felt about you, Amy Pond... My magnificent, brilliant, impossible Amelia Pond...
And then more shots. The Doctor was dead. Well, actually the Teselecta was just a bit damaged. The shots had only shaken the "ship" but he would still carry away a few scrapes and bruises from the bumpy ride. Still, the Doctor's eyes never left hers, Amy's face filling the screen as the redhead laid her body on his, sobs sending slight quakes in the robot. And her cries... He could still hear her cries. The Doctor closed his eyes, feeling the small crew around him staring.
"Wake up!" Amy sobbed, "Wake up, you stupid, bloody idiot!"
The Doctor's two hears broke. "Oh, Amy," he sighed, crossing his arms. This was the last time he'd see her. After he escaped from the Teselecta, it was back to the TARDIS to let things die down. The Doctor was getting too big.
"What are we going to do, Rory?" Amy asked, but she already knew what came next. She remembered both timelimes, growing up with a crack in time in her bedroom wall. She was special.
A LITTLE LATER...
It took them almost a half hour to get the Doctor's body into the boat. He felt the gravity shift, knowing that his time to escape was near. The gasoline smell filled everyone's senses in the Teselecta and they all waited for things to heat up, for the alarms to go off as their ship burned.
"Time to get this show on the road!" the Doctor's voice boomed, echoing throughout the main control room. He was done listening to the tears and pain, done listening to Amy's cries and not being able to do anything.
"Hello, Sweetie." River Song. The Doctor's wife. Oh, she knew everything as usual. "Sorry about the whole... 'Re-Writing A Fixed Point' thing. Won't happen again, I promise! As long as you visit me soon. I'm thinking the 6th moon of Genoplaux for our honeymoon. Great during the winter."
The Doctor smiled. It wasn't actually that bad of an idea. He wondered why he hadn't thought of taking Amy there. "Doesn't matter now," he muttered, low enough so no one could hear, "River will love it just as much, I'm sure."
After River said her goodbyes, putting on a sad performance for her parents, Rory came over. The Last Centurion. "Hello, Doctor," the man said, awkwardly, "Uh... Christ, I don't know what to say!"
"Heartfelt, Beak-Nose," the Doctor snorted. A few of the other crew members smirked and chuckled to themselves.
"She's lost without you, y'know," he continued, changing the mood, "I spent my whole life trying to be you, Amy's beloved Raggedy Doctor. Her hero in a blue box. I used to be so jealous... Still kind of am, actually. But you're also one of my best mates. You and me, Amy's boys." Rory paused trying to find the right wording, then began again, his tone more determined, "I'll never be you. But I can still be her hero. I know I can. Goodbye, Doctor. Wish me luck."
The Doctor smiled. Rory had just been a simple, insecure nurse when they'd first met. But he had become so much more. That was one of his favorite things about taking humans travelling. The universe had its effects on everyone, and sometimes it was for the better. It was companions like Martha, Mickey, Jack, Rory, and Amy that made the Doctor remember all the positive effects he'd left.
"Amy?" Rory called, his head turning in her direction, "Amy, it's-"
The Time Lord tensed. He didn't want to hear her goodbye. It was hard enough the first time and the Doctor had a feeling that if she said just the right words, he'd scream out some comforting comment through the microphone.
"Hi," Amy murmured, her eyes puffy and make-up ruined. Still absolutely perfect, the Doctor's mind whispered. "Why couldn't you just let me save you? You put your life in my hands, remember? But I still couldn't stop it."
"It was a fixed point in time, Pond..." he replied, though she couldn't hear him. The microphone was at the Doctor's side, clenched in his left hand. "It had to happen."
"This can't be it," Amy said, shaking her head, her voice getting thick, "You said you'd always come back! You promised!"
The Doctor raised the microphone up to his chest, the captain and crew eyeing him carefully. His fists tightened against the object in his hand, knuckles turning white. The urge to say something was becoming unbearable. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"What am I going to do without you, Doctor?" Amy sniffled, "Who's going to spit out all my food? Who's going to whisk me away to Space Florida or Cinda Callista or introduce me to Vincent van Gogh and Liz X? Who's going to ask me which bow tie to wear 6 million times in the morning? Who's going to kiss me on the forehead, tell me everything's okay, and call me their Amelia Pond?"
As Amy continued, more and more tears fell from her eyes and it became harder to speak clearly. The Doctor raised the microphone to his lips, fingers poised on the button that would project his voice out of the Teselecta. "What are you doing?" Captain Carter demanded, "Doctor, she can't know. It'll ruin this. It'll all have been for nothing."
"I can't just sit here!" the Doctor cried, "Amy Pond had shed so many tears for me, whether she wanted me to see them or not... I can't just sit here and watch her cry."
"The Silence is after you, Doctor. They'll come after her and your other friends, too, if they realize you're not dead. So, tell her. But be prepared to watch her die."
Carter was right. Harsh, but right, and he was still just looking out for the Time Lord. He realized that, lowering the speaker reluctantly, face twisting in guilt and pain. The Doctor needed to pull himself together. There was a reason he was going to all this trouble. He looked back at Amy, who was staring lovingly at his face, stroking his cheek with her thumb. "What is Amelia Pond without her imaginary friend, her Raggedy Man?" Amy leaned down after a few moments, as if she were waiting for his reply, and pressed her lips to his forehead, then whispered, so no one around her could hear, "I never stopped loving you, you stupid, bow tie-wearing idiot. Never."
The Doctor stopped breathing, as did the other hundreds of tiny people on the ship, anticipating his next move. Would he say something? If so, what? The Doctor's two hearts leapt with joy, trying to beat their way out of his rib cage. But they were shattering at the same time. He wanted to scream out that the feelings were reciprocated, that he loved her too. The Doctor finally saw it. All of it: the flirty glances, the awkward silences, the words with underlying tones. But he couldn't say a word back.