The Girl Who Didn't Make Sense

Let's Play Pretend

What up, my readers?(: I think I like this chapter is my favorite and I've really been wanting to post it since I first wrote it. It's not really tied to an episode, but it takes place about a week after Space Florida. So... Yeah. Enjoy! :)

Amy sat on the top bunk of her bed in her room. It was starting to resemble the one that she had back home. The walls were blue, but actual TARDIS blue, which is the blue she had tried achieving in her old room. The paint stores never had the exact color she was looking for. Amy smiled, remembering her aunt's frustration when she rejected shade after shade of the blue color. Drawings and pictures were all taped up the wall, including a replica painting of Vincent van Gogh's Vase with 12 Flowers, the one he had dedicated to Amy. Her bed was littered with piles of pillows and stuffed animals she had brought from home, maybe to fend off any homesickness she thought she might experience, and there was even a doll of her Raggedy Doctor that she hid at the bottom of the pile. Where there should be pictures of her friends and family from home taped by her mirror, there were instead polaroids of Amy and the Doctor.

There was a picture of her on her first night in the TARDIS, one with Queen Elizabeth X looking quite fierce with the Doctor, Winston Churchill with a starstruck Amy, the Doctor with Elliot from Wales in 2020, Vincent van Gogh staring lovingly into an oblivious Amy, and a picture of the Doctor after his first football match. She loved to keep track of all these trips. Like the pictures of her and the Doctor posing and making funny faces in Arcadia, the Trojan Gardens, the fifth moon of Cinda Calista, Rio... All moments that she loved. But there were two pictures that bothered her the most.

The first one was one that was taken when she and the Doctor had gone to Venice. The picture shows her and a man, a man with sandy hair and a big nose, and she could tell that he was a nice bloke. Still, she had no idea who he was, why he was in the picture, or when it was even taken. She hadn't remembered that part at all. And for some reason, whenever Amy looked at that photo, she always felt a single tear fall down, and was overwhelmed with guilt and sadness. She had no idea why, and hadn't mentioned it to the Doctor yet.

The second picture that bothered her was the picture of River and the Doctor straight off the Byzantium. He looked so tired and frustrated from lack of knowing what the cracks meant, hating how everyone knew but him. And Amy, of course. She was just as clueless as he. The Doctor wore a tired smile and had his jacket off. River leaned her head on one of his shoulders, like it was where she belonged. She smiled so warmly, so lovingly, that you could tell that that's where she belonged, where she was happiest. Sometimes, that picture made Amy want to cry too. It overwhelmed her with sadness too. Maybe even worse than the one with the strange man.

"Amy?" the Doctor called, knocking on her door, "Amy! I know what we're going to do today!"

She sighed, changing her expression from "sad" to "annoyed," though she knew he would have her smiling in seconds. "Come in, Doctor."

He walked in and found Amy sitting criss-cross on the top bunk. Luckily she decided not to wear her usual short skirt, settling with jeans. "Kataa Flo Ko!"

"What?" she sat up, confused.

"I planned on going there awhile back with another companion," the Doctor admitted. He had offered to take Donna when he believed she was leaving. "It has diamond coral reefs. Just beautiful. You'll see for yourse-" The Doctor stopped when he saw she was no longer paying attention. At first, there was a flash of irritation. It was a bloody good idea, a great place to take her to, and here she was, unimpressed. He followed Amy's gaze to the wall of pictures, though the Doctor wasn't so sure about which picture she was looking at.

He had never kept something so sentimental... So real. The Doctor wanted to forget the good times he had with a companion, because it was hard to move on otherwise. Yet, he didn't want to forget about Amy. He knew she was one of the special ones. Just like Donna. Just like Rose. Yeah, he could put them out of his mind for awhile, but then the memories would flood back, all the times they ran, all the times they couldn't stop laughing, all the times that they had stuck together. The Doctor would never forget Amy.

"Humans," he chuckled, quietly, "So nostalgic."

Amy gave a soft smile, shoving a hand in her pocket and feeling the red velvet box she had found in the Doctor's pocket. The diamond coral reefs reminded her of the diamond ring that lay inside. When she had first seen it, she believed that it was for River, but after the lid was opened, revealing a simple yet beautiful ring, Amy had an overwhelming sense that it was hers, that it belonged to her. She constantly imagined the Doctor proposing, fantasizing their future, which must have added to the confusion in Space Florida that she was trying so hard to forget.

The Doctor climbed onto the top bunk and scooted next to Amy. She seemed to be down in the dumps, though he wasn't quite sure why. He wondered if it was because of him. Because of what had happened with their almost kiss a week ago. They hadn't talked about it at all, pretending it had never happened. Amy had deluded herself into thinking that he hadn't leaned in at all, that she was just wishing so hard that she thought she saw him. The Doctor was keeping a list of subjects to change to if it ever came up.

She wanted to rest all her hopes and worries on the man, to cuddle up next to him and feel safe forever in his arms, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw that picture of the Doctor and River. River was doing exactly that, getting exactly that. Because it was hers. Not Amy's. Not the ring, not this life, not the TARDIS, not this wonderful, hilarious man. It was all River's. She could tell that from the picture they were meant to be together. It was just that Amy had grown up her whole life thinking that it would be her he'd settle down with, that he'd be her Mr. Right.

The Doctor wanted to grab Amy and kiss the top of her head, tell her everything was going to be alright and that he loved her, because he was sure his feelings were getting deeper, deep enough to start considering it love. He loved her feisty-ness, her flirting, her boldness, her hair, her skin, her legs, her walk, her Scottish accent. Everything. It all made his two hearts leap higher than any other woman had made them leap before. But out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rory and Amy in Venice. The Doctor wondered what she thought of that picture, but was too afraid to ask. Maybe she'd remember... Was that what he wanted? She was Rory's. The Doctor was second place, winning only by default, by Rory's death. And what was the fun in that?

The atmosphere was tense. It was complete silence until Amy broke it, knowing that if the silence was prolonged any longer, she'd go mad. "Actually, that Katar Flo Jo sounds pretty amazing," she said, sitting up, "Let's get to it then?"

"Yes!" the Doctor cried, excitedly, leaping to the floor and not even caring that she had totally mispronounced it. "You'll love it! Promise! Oh, I love when I think up something brilliant!"

Amy knew none of this was hers, that someday it would all be River's, but for now... She was okay with pretending. Pretending that the Doctor wanted to be with her, that the TARDIS would forever be her home, that every day for the rest of her life would be filled with adventure. Just pretend this is all yours. Just for now.

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