Convergent (Part One)

Tobias: Chapter 33

Tobias!" Tris suddenly screams, her entire body jerking up, fingers digging into the mattress.

I'm by her before I realize I've moved, smoothing my hands over hers, roving over her knuckles in comforting swirls.

She looks at me, half her face darkened by the dying day, and I see the tears there. A part of me breaks.

And she does, too.

Sweat beads off her forehead and mixes with her tears and a scowl appears between her brows, as if she's both horrified and enraged.

Its the same fire that burned in her before and now, it's been rekindled.

"Tris," I say calmly, trying to coax her to look at me, but she just shakes her head, holding on to the fire.

"He SHOT me," she whispers."He did. In that, white room. And there was my mom...and you." The words tumble out, rushed. Afraid. Angry. "And Caleb. Why-Why was he there? What did he do? What did I do?"

"Nothing," I say. "You did nothing wrong."

"That woman," she goes on, her eyes widening as her hand tightens around mine. "She did something to me. Gave me something...something awful."

"Jeanine, " I breathe. The single name leaves my mouth tasting bitter and I almost wish she were alive so she could be killed again. "Don't worry," I say. "She's dead."

"My mom...I watched her die." Tris closes her eyes as if to hide the image I can't see. "She was shot and she told me to run and I did But I...I still left her."

"She wanted you to live. And you did. In that, you honored her."

"Could you get Caleb?" She asks, opening her eyes again. She looks at me somberly."I need to talk to him."

I bite my lip, questioning this, but nod anyway. For her. "Sure. Be right back."

I stand and walk down the hall to Calebs lab, not even bothering to knock before I step inside.

"C'mon in," he says dryly, his back to me as he works over something. "What is it now?"

"She wants to talk to you," I reply, crossing my arms over my chest, glad, and not for the first time, that I'm not him. "She remembered other...things."

A pause. "I take it that means she recalls...me. There." It isn't a question. He straightened his back and turns to me, a rag in his hand. "I didn't face it then," he says, and almost to himself adds, "At least I can face it now."

And with that, he walks out of the room.

At first, I think it best I don't follow and take a seat, but after a sudden shout comes from the other room a few seconds later, I'm gone, running back down the hall and into the infirmary.

I blink once, trying to register the scene. I note Caleb's warning, outstretched hands extending toward Tris, her own wrapper around a syringe.

"Beatrice, " Caleb says, voice softer. "You can't take a third dose. That's all there is. I can't recreate it if you use it." I hear the fearful underlying tone in his voice-the same fear that's expanding from my chest-that's swallowing me whole.

"Listen to him, Tris, " I say, her eyes meeting mine. I expected to see some shimmer of anger or desperation, but there's none. Its all determination and assurance. "I need to do this," she says, echoing her earlier words. "I have to. Everything- I need to know."

"This could kill you!" Caleb roars, his soft voice erupting into a shout that richoches around the room. "If you take this, you may not wake up. And I - I will not lose my sister again."

"I'll be fine," she doesn't sound as sure as she looks hard at me. "I will come back."

And I'm helpless. I'm helpless as I'm about to tell her to stop, to tell her we can find another way. To tell her I love her at least once. But the words don't make it past my lips and I'm rendered immobile as I watch her finger the syringe and plunge it down.

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