Chapter 24: Home Improvements !
Home Improvements !
Bruce is reading the Newspaper, talking to Alfred, well aware, that Aunt Harriot could come in at any moment.
- Well, Alfred, plans are well underway to install shute elevators in all three Towers. They should be ready by the middle of next week. How are plans proceeding here in the Manor ?
- I must say, it is all rather exciting, Master Bruce ! Mr. Fox and I suggest that we totally remodel the old emergency cellars, and utilize the adjacent cave.
- Funny you should say that, Alfred. ( Becoming much more animated ) Funny you should say that. … You' ll probably think this a little strange, but I was kinda thinking, that the cave would make a kind of neat garage ! .. Only, I don't think we should call it the adjacent cave. I was thinking more along the lines of the Bat Cave !
- Ah, a stroke of genius, if I may say so, Sir, … and, given the fact, that every garage requires a door, no doubt Sir is considering the tunnel exiting East toward Gotham, for the purpose.
- Indeed Sir was !
- The ' Car Wash ' unit, that Lucius ordered through the Technology Department, is to be delivered tomorrow. We can simply have the transporter remain ' in situ '. ... Lucius could drive it here himself, and we will install it in the Cave.
- I like it, I like it !
- What else did you and Lucius come up with ? … I can't wait to see what Lucius has devised for the pole in the Library. … Now, that was something I really loved about my days with the Fire Department, the Pole. We 've got to keep William Shakespeare and the button. There 's something very cultured about using Old Bill, when my services are required.
- That is not a problem, Sir. The costume unit is to be fitted at the base of the pole. But there is a slight problem with the passageway to the Cave.
- How slight ?
- Solid granite.
- Excuse me ?
- We can't erode the granite outcrop in the passageway to the Cave, as there are already natural cracks in the structure, which, were they to be exacerbated, would compromise the very foundations of the Manor. In other words ...
- In other words, if I want a normal corridor to the Bat Cave, Wayne Manor might fall down !
- In a nutshell, Master Bruce.
- Better not try, then, Alfred.
- What about the West Wing elevator ?
- Ah yes, Miss Cooper's elevator, Sir. … It is to be modified. … With the pass sequence Lucius gave you, it descends at the same velocity as those in the Towers, and to a level lower than the emergency cellar, allocated to your Great Aunt. If one happens to be in the West Wing at the time, one can use the elevator, Sir.
- Can one ? Oh, how absolutely spiffing ! … I must make sure Aunt Harriot knows to press the right buttons !
Just then, Aunt Harriot comes in.
- Are you two talking about me again, Bruce ?
- Oh' I was only saying to Alfred, how shocked you were about last week's earthquake in Indanau. It says here, (pointing at the newspaper.) that, as many as 180,000 people are believed killed.
- Oh, Bruce, it really is terrible, and so many more hurt or homeless. Once I have breakfast, I'm going straight to my sewing-circle. We're holding a sale, and the proceeds are going to the orphans there.
- Very thoughtful, Aunt Harriot. … You tell your ladies, that whatever you make, Wayne Enterprises will donate ten times the final amount raised.
- Why, that's wonderful, Bruce. … What would the World be without you, Bruce ?
- ( Adopting a mock Shaespearian tone. ) Now, '' That is the question '', Aunt Harriot. '' That is the Question. ''
- Oh, Bruce. You really are the joker !