This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
Persona Four Alternate
"Name?" asked the conductor as he walked down the aisle of the train.
"Yu, Yu Narukami." said a silver haired boy before turning to look out the window. Inaba, I wonder it anything worthwhile will happen while I'm there, he thought before slowly closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
"What the, where am I?" Yu asked when he woke up inside of a completely blue room.
"Welcome to the Velvet Room." said an old man in a suit sitting opposite Yu.
"What in the world are you talking about, what's the Velvet Room, and who are you people?" Yu asked.
"Oh, my apologies." the man said with a small chuckle. "Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Igor and this is my assistant Margaret."
"Alright, well that still doesn't explain why I'm here, or what this place even is." Yu said.
"This is a place removed from time, and as for why you're here it's because you are bound to a contract." Igor said. "Tell me, do you believe in fortune telling?"
"Fortune telling, you mean with those cards?" Yu asked. "I guess it's kind of interesting."
"Well let's take a look into your future." Igor said before producing a deck of tarot cards. "It's very interesting you know, every fortune it told with the same cards, but the outcome is always unique."
"I guess." Yu said as Igor placed three cards down on the table.
"Now then, your immediate future." Igor said before flipping up the card on his left. "The tower in the upright position, it seems you will experience a great tragedy."
"That's not the kind of thing I wanted to hear." Yu said. "What's next?"
Igor simply smiled and revealed the next card. "The moon, in the upright position, this card seems to suggest that you'll be involved in a great mystery, and your future rests on you solving it within the year." he said.
"Well, at least I won't be bored all year." Yu said before he suddenly began to lose consciousness and fell into a deep sleep.
"What in the world?" Yu asked as he woke up to see he was still in the train. "Was it all just a crazy dream?"
"We are now approaching Yasoinaba station, all passengers heading for Okina city or Inaba should exit the train at the next station." said the conductor.
"Well, I guess this is where I'll be living for the next year." Yu said calmly.
"Alright, now then I'm supposed to be meeting my uncle but where is he?' Yu asked.
"Hey, over here." came a voice from the train station.
"Oh, that must be him." Yu said before walking over to the man.
"I must admit, you're even more handsome then your photos." The man said with a smile.
"Thanks, I hope I'm not inconveniencing you by moving in for the next year uncle." Yu said.
"Oh don't worry about that, and call me Dojima." The man said with a grin. "This is my daughter Nanako, say hello to your cousin Nanako."
"Hello." Nanako said before hiding behind Dojima's leg.
"What's wrong, you don't need to be so shy." Dojima said before Nanako got annoyed and punched his leg. "Ouch." he said with a chuckle. "Come on, the car's right over here."
"Alright, just let me grab my last bag." Yu said before turning to grab his bag.
"Excuse me, you dropped this." said a young woman holding out a piece of paper to Yu.
"Oh, I did, thanks miss." Yu said politely while taking the paper from her.
"Yeah, alright." the girl said before walking off.
Yu looked down at the paper and placed it in his pocket. "Just the directions to Dojima's house, I should probably head over to the car."
"Hold on a minute, I need to fill up the tank." Dojima said while pulling into a gas station.
"That's fine, some fresh air sounds nice." Yu said before getting out of the car.
"I need to go and use the bathroom." Nanako said suddenly.
"Alright, just be careful alright." Dojima said.
"I know." Nanako said before walking into the gas station.
"Oh, are you going on a trip somewhere?" asked a young man in in an employee outfit for the gas station.
"No, we're just picking him up from the train station."Dojima explained. "You can fill the car with regular."
"Yes sir." said the young man.
"Well, I guess now's as good a time as any for a smoke."Dojima said before walking off to smoke a cigarette.
"You're a high school student right?" the young man asked Yu.
"Yeah, why?" Yu asked.
"Well, as you've probably noticed there's not much to do around this town, honestly if you don't want to be bored you'll either be spending all you time with your friends, or doing part time jobs around town." the man said. "As a matter of fact we're hiring here, if your interested stop by."
"Thanks, I might look into it." Yu said before shaking the young man's hand.
"Oh, I should get back to work, sorry about that." The man said before running to fill Dojima's tank.
"Are you alright?" Nanako asked as she walked back to the car.
"I'm fine, just a little carsick." Yu said. "I'll be fine soon."
"Alright, well I guess so." Nanako said while Dojima walked back.
"Hey you don't look so good, maybe you should get some more air, just let me know when you think you're ready to go alright." Dojima said.
"Alright, maybe you're right Dojima." Yu said before walking along the street and taking in the different shops. "Oh fancy meeting you again."
"Have we met?" the girl asked.
"Yeah, at the train station, I just thought I'd introduce myself, my name's Yu Narukami." Yu said.
"Great, now would you mind leaving me alone, I have things to take care of." the girl said coldly.
"Alright." Yu said before walking back over to Dojima. "Let's go, I'm feeling better now."
"Alright, let's go." Dojima said with a smile.
(Author's Note: This story is going to be the events of Persona 4 Golden with a significant change. Any advice on how to improve the story or thoughts on the change is appreciated. I'll try to answer any questions about the story so if there are any just PM me.)
Darren Powell: Very nice read. Lots of surprising treats from: Schrodinger’s cat and dervish dance forms; to sensei masters and brownian motion. I wasn't expecting this, so it was a pleasant discovery.Also liked the 'cross-over' events connecting one character's/or group's journey to another. I like how that wa...
Maryam Rehman: The story was overall amazingly penned down. I loved how the story transitioned from the lavish city of London to the war torn Aleppo. Even though the story had some loopholes in some places, it made me contemplate failing in chemistry, because I was up all night glued to my mobile screen rather ...
Deleted User: (A review in progress). I like this. It's sparse, gritty and atmospheric - reminiscent of the classic Golden Age of American detective fiction of the Thirties. I've only read the beginning, but I'll definitely be back. This writer knows their stuff and has done their homework on detective work. T...
mindushree1402: It was really amazing.... I was not able to put it down..... just beyond awesome... no wonder writers do play with words... amazing storyline.... addictive too... I was so used to it that even when I'm not reading it story was continously streaming in my mind.... good job... I really liked that f...
danijelstoilkovic: I really like this story. The characters, the mysteries, that bonding in the end, but I would really like to see what happened next. Is there a second part? And this would really be one cool horror movie and if I was the director, I wouldn't change a thing.It's awesome!
mcase: I thoroughly enjoyed every particle of this interesting story!! I really enjoyed the development of the main characters and loved them despite their flaws. The plot was interesting and kept me reading, wanting to find out what would happen next. Great work!There were a few consistent mechanical e...
CornflowerBlues: I'm liking everything about this story so far: the brazen detective, the way he gave in to temptation, the temptation (<3!!), and the unexpectedly complex backdrop of his job and the case he's working. The story is well written, and despite its erotica tag, has an intriguing detective story and a...
Someone: This was a fun, entertaining read. Although the novel wasn’t stylistically polished, and although the first couple of chapters struggled to hold my attention, the rest of the novel was engaging and beautifully done. You had me fooled until the end. The rest of this review will contain spoilers fo...
M.L. Bull: Hello, Aalia!Your story compelled the emotional pain and struggle of a teenage girl very well.. The imagery was also convincing and well-written, showing the different personalities of your characters and their actions. However, I do think that many of your sentences are too lengthy and could use...