Konoha's Bash

Chapter 7

Karaoke! It used to be Hidan's favourite pastime before he joined the Akatsuki. He used to win all the karaoke contests at the Hot Springs village, convinced that Jashin-sama blessed him with the talent. He was carrying a tray of pastry rolls that the Akatsuki had stolen from a real catering service when he was bumped by someone. "Watch where you're going, bastard," the red-haired girl growled at him. "You talking to me, bitch?" Hidan asked, irritated. Tayuya pushed him, Hidan dropped the tray on Sasori's head, and Sasori punched Hidan. "What the fuck Sasori?"

"Hello?" Sasori said, pointing to the pastries in his hair.

"It's this bitch's fault!"

"Oh yeah?" Tayuya said, and she shoved him again, he shoved her back, she woke up from the ground and sucker punched his jaw. "Oh my Jashin that hurt so good, do it again!"

"Huh?" asked Tayuya quizzically.


Hidan's eyes lit up, this was his big chance. "Hey, I like bitches like you who got spunk, what say you enter the competition with me?" Hidan asked Tayuya.

She sucker punched his jaw again and said, "Ah, what the hell, I'm up for it."

Sasori scratched his head in confusion and some pastry flakes fell out.

A few tables away, Matsuri had stars in her eyes, "Gaara-sama, let's enter the competition." Gaara didn't need to be told twice and with that, all the couples that were entering the contest were lined up on stage. Sakura and Naruto were looking excited because they were in it to win it, Shikamaru regarded this whole affair as troublesome but Temari kept him in line, Ino looked like she was ready to rock the place while we didn't know what Shino's expression was because of the sunglasses, Neji looked somewhat uncomfortable but Tenten was smiling, Hinata would have fainted dead away on stage if Sasuke didn't have her hand in a firm grip.

"And now, a couple and a song will be chosen randomly..." Jiraiya started as Anko revealed the machine that had been used to select the fighters at their chuunin exams. Sasuke would have liked to bolt from the stage, but he had something to prove to all these people. At last the machine chose the couple and their song. "Hidan and Tayuya! They will be singing 'Superman"!" said Jiraiya handing them microphones. They snatched them from his hand as the music started up. The other couples sat at some tables that were reserved at the front.

Hidan and Tayuya began to sing... "Ooooh"

"You high baby?" Hidan sang.

"Yeah, talk to me..."

"You want me to tell you something?"

"Uh-huh," Tayuya sang, groaning suggestively.

"I know what you wanna hear...I know you want me baby, I think I want you too."

"I think I love you baby," Tayuya crooned.

"I think I love you too, I'm here to save you girl, come be in Jashin's world, I want to grow together, let's let our love unfurl. You know you want me baby, you know I want you too, they call me immortal man, I'm here to rescue you," Hidan sang, changing the words to suit himself as he went along.

"Oooh boy you drive me crazy..."

"Bitch you make me hurl."

Deidara and Itachi were hiding out in the back, Deidara because he was sick of being hit on by guys and Itachi for the same reason but also because he was afraid that Sasuke would recognize him. "Oh ehm gee, is that Hidan rapping?" Deidara asked.

"Yes. But more importantly, did you just say 'oh ehm gee' ?"

"Shut up, un!"

"You two, stop being a couple of pansies and take these bottles and empty it into the punch bowls, they're running on low," Pein told them, he was holding a spatula and had a tiny medicine bottle in his other hand. He noticed Itachi staring at it. "This," Pein started, "Is a poison that Sasori gave to me, I've added it to the pancake batter so don't eat those."

"So we have started to make our move?" Itachi asked while he was refilling the punch bowl with something that was clearly not punch but liquor instead.

"More or less, but I'm enjoying this karaoke."

"But I do know one thing though, bitches they come they go, Saturday through Sunday, Monday, Monday through Sunday, yo'. Maybe I'll love you one day, maybe we'll someday grow, till then just sit your drunk ass on the fucking runway ho'" Hidan rapped, getting all up in Tayuya's face until she chest-bumped him backwards and faced the crowd.

"I'm not fazed; I hang around big stars all day. I don't get what the big deal is anyway, you're just plain ol' Hidan to me."

Hidan recovered, "Ooh yeah girl run that game."

"Jashin-sama, I love that name, love that tattoo, what's that say...rot in pieces, uh, that's great," Tayuya sang.

"First off you don't know Jashin at all so don't grow partial. That's ammo for my arsenal, I'll slap you off that barstool. There goes another lawsuit, leave handprints all across you. Good Lord Jashin, you must be gone off that water bottle. You want what you can't have, ooh girl that's too damn bad, don't touch what you can't grab, end up with two backhands. Put anthrax on a tampax and slap you till you can't stand. Girl you just blew your chance, don't mean to ruin your plans..." Hidan rapped as the crowd cheered him on.

"What a vulgar song...these young people of today have no shame, none at all," Koharu commented. Kiba sulked and ignored her. "Get me a drink from that punch bowl will you boy?" she told him. Kiba trudged off, glad to be getting away from her. He took longer than usual, spooning the punch into the cups. The punch smelt strong and was strangely coloured, he took a sip of it, blinked, and then downed it and filled another cup and walked back to his table. "Took you long enough," Koharu said. "Let's hear it for Hidan and Tayuya...that was colourful...let's see who is up next!" Jiraiya's voice boomed across the hall. Names flashed quickly across the screen and contestants waited with bated breath. "NARUTO AND SAKURA and they will be singing hate that I love you!"

Naruto and Sakura came forward hand in hand and Jiraiya gave them the microphones, the music started and the words of the song showed up on the screen.

"And I can't stand you, must everything you do make me wanna smile, can I not like it for a while?" Sakura sang, a bit off key at first but then Naruto flashed one of signature grins which automatically boosted her confidence.

"But you won't let me, you upset me girl, and then you kiss my lips, all of a sudden I forget that I was upset, can't remember what you did..." Naruto practically screamed the words into the microphone and everyone covered their ears because of the shriek, even he jumped backwards as Sakura shot him a glare and he scratched his blonde hair sheepishly.

"But I hate it...You know exactly what to do so that I can't stay mad at you for too long, that's wrong..." sang Sakura.

"But I hate it, you know exactly how to touch so that I don't wanna fuss and fight no more. Said, I despise that I adore you..." Naruto sang, without shouting this time.

"And I hate how much I love you boy, I can't stand how much I need you. And I hate how much I love you girl, and I just can't let you go, and I hate that I love you so..." they both chorused, their duet was sounding pretty good.

"And you completely know the power that you have. The only one that makes me laugh." Naruto sang, staring at Sakura while she blushed and sang her lines.

"Sad, and it's not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I love you beyond the reason why, and it just ain't right..."

"Sakura is a good singer, what makes it even better is it's completely obvious that she has feelings for that blonde haired buffoon, ah young love..." Granny Chiyo said with a chuckle. Lee was on his third glass of 'punch' as he stood up and slurred, "Sakura-san! That is youthful, too youthful! Whoooooooop." Granny Chiyo pulled him back down in his seat quickly but he stood up again, cheeks tinted with red and eyes looking very out of focus, he stood with a taijutsu pose and was cheering, "Naruto-kun...yesh, my eternal rival for Sakura-san's love, thatsh right! Well done my rival. Whoooooooop."

Meanwhile, Hinata was slowly trying to crawl under the table, the object of her love for almost her whole life was looking radiantly happy on stage while singing to the girl that he loved. Hinata wanted to be happy for them but she was feeling so terrible. "What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, noticing that she was halfway under the table. "M-my spoon," she lied and dived underneath the table, just in time too because Naruto chose that time to plant a quick kiss on Sakura's cheek.

"One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me, and your kiss won't make me weak...but no one in this world knows me the way you know me, so you'll probably always have a spell on me..." as Naruto and Sakura finished their song, most of the crowd was already in a soppy mood; Asuma and Kurenai were holding hands, Anko was eyeing Kakashi out, Orochimaru was moving his chair closer and closer to Sasuke's table, Pein and Konan grinned at each other but then put on serious faces remembering the reason that they were here.

Jiraiya tried to put his arm around Tsunade but she punched him and he toppled onto a red-haired waiter who was carrying a tray of tea. "Oh hell no, not again!" Sasori said, flinging the tray to the ground and he walked away. Jiraiya woke up, dusted himself off and went on stage, "Let's give them a round of applause! And let's see who is up next..."

The machine flashed names and finally stopped on two names as well as a song. Oh man, here it goes, Sasuke gulped. "Hinata, you better get out from underneath the table now, it's our turn."

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