Konoha's Bash

Chapter 8

"Hinata, you better get out from underneath the table now, it's our turn."

A whimpering sound came from underneath the table. Great, just great, I should've known she'd punk out, Sasuke thought.

"Sasuke and Hinata, please come to the stage!" Jiraiya announced. Sasuke looked around while he waited for Hinata to emerge, people were waiting anxiously, a huge crowd was for some reason crowded around the punch bowls, and a bunch of waiters looked as if they were conspiring about something in the corner.

Hinata was not going to come out, Sasuke lifted up the table cloth and peered underneath where he saw her huddled. He ducked down quickly and dived under the table. "Well, where is our lovely young couple?" Jiraiya asked as the crowd started whispering.

"Hinata, we need to get out there now," Sasuke told her.

She lifted her head up from her arms, "I c-can't si-sing."

"Come to think of it, neither can I," said Sasuke, shifting under the table because it was very uncomfortable and someone had been swinging their foot absentmindedly and kicked him.

"Teme! Where are you? You too chicken to sing, ahahaha."

Sasuke groaned, that voice could only belong the obnoxious Naruto. "N-Naruto-kun," Hinata stammered. A bright idea occurred to Sasuke at that instant, "You need to go out there and impress that do- I mean Naruto, show him what he is missing out on."

Hinata stared at him, "Y-yes, N-Naruto-kun would never give up."

"Yeah, come on," Sasuke said, getting out from under the table and he banged his head.

"S-Sasuke-san, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said, trying to help her out from under the table.

"Sasuke! What did you do to Hinata-chan under the table?" Naruto screamed much to Sasuke's dismay while Hinata blushed crimson red.

"Oho! What is going on there," Jiraiya asked excitedly as the camera guy zoomed in on them and the image of them in a compromising position was being streamed on the big screen in the hall. People were gasping and others whistling.

"It's not what you think!" Sasuke said desperately, yanking Hinata out from underneath the table.

"Do you see what you've done!" Sasuke whispered angrily. Meanwhile, Hiashi Hyuga was having dangerous thoughts, thoughts that involved giving the Uchiha grievous bodily harm. Sasuke and Hinata finally made it to the stage and Hinata stood meekly behind Sasuke as Jiraiya handed them the microphones with a wink. "They will be singing Good Girls Go Bad!"


"Place those pancakes on that platter there, and pretty soon, everyone will be eating them and twitching, and frothing at the mouth and rolling around in agony and-"

"Pein, we get the idea," Konan said, rubbing his arm gently. Itachi and Deidara placed the poisoned pancakes on the huge platter and in no time, crowds were swarming around it just like they did with the punch bowls. Kakuzu was trying to charge people for the food until Hidan dragged him away before the Jounin could start getting suspicious. "Itachi, your brother is going to sing next, and he got a fucking nice date too, damn she hot," Hidan said, he was still talking like a rapper.

"Yes, yes, hot...hot..." Itachi said, but he was not really paying attention because at that moment a young lady with long brunette hair, dressed in a charcoal halter neck dress, with red markings on her face walked by. Needless to say, Itachi got distracted, which was quite unlike him. Kisame was quick to notice his partner's sudden change of attitude, "What do you think of her, eh Itachi?"

"She's beautiful...like a newly sharpened shuriken glistening in the sunlight..." Itachi trailed on while Kisame sniggered. "What's her name?" Kisame asked while his partner was still dazed. 'Hana...Inuzuka..."

"I'm going over to tell her that you said hi," Kisame said, going off in her direction. Itachi nodded dumbly but then – "Wait, what? NO! Kisame come back here you idiot!"

Kisame cackled evilly, "Relax, I won't do that, she will not take you seriously while you're wearing that dress." Itachi was considering putting Kisame through 72 hours of torture with the Mangekyou sharingan but the karaoke music started up and he leaned against the wall to watch his little brother sing while the other eye was on Hana, because the Uchiha can do things like that.


Sasuke gulped as the music started up, he was panicking in a major way but didn't let it show on the outside. He could only imagine what Hinata was going through because her cheeks were flaming red and Jiraiya gave her a push so that she was beside Sasuke and not hiding behind him. Sasuke took a deep breath and tried to sing in key with the music and the words on the screen. "I know your type, you're daddy's little girl...come take a bite, one bite...let me shake up your world, coz just one night couldn't be so wrong, I'm gonna make you lose control..."

At a table nearby, Hiashi had his fists clenched under the table, what is this Uchiha spawn plotting to do with my lovely, innocent daughter, I will slaughter him...

"She was so shy...till I drove her wild...I make them good girls go bad, I make them good girls go bad...you were hanging in the corner with your five best friends, you heard that I was trouble but you couldn't resist..." Sasuke sang, making a couple fangirls in the crowd faint and Orochimaru reached into his bag, pulled out something and threw it on stage. Sasuke picked up the object which had just been flung onto his head and was disgusted to find that it was a pair of underwear...guys underwear... Sasuke visibly gagged, made a mental note to wash his hair at least five times, and he tossed the underpants aside. Orochimaru looked disappointed.

"I-I know y-your type, boy you dangerous...yeah you're that guy, that g-guy, I'd be stupid to trust..." Hinata sang shyly, but it actually sounded quite good.

That's my girl, you can see the Uchiha spawns true colours, Hiashi thought, wearing a smug look on his face.

"But just one n-night couldn't be so wrong, you make me wanna l-lose control."

"Relax dad, they just singing a song," Hanabi told her father, who had lost the smug look and was gripping the table so tightly that his knuckles went white.

"She was so shy...till I drove her wild... I make them good girls go bad, I make them good girls go bad..." Sasuke sang, all the while thinking how ridiculous the song was.

Hinata was just trying to keep herself conscious on stage as she sang, "I was hanging in the corner with my five best friends...I –I heard that you were trouble but I couldn't resist..."

Everyone was either on the dance floor or bobbing their heads to the upbeat tempo of the music while Lee was doing a mixture of dance moves with taijutsu.

"I make them good girls go bad...I make them good girls go bad..." Sasuke sang, and the song finished and the crowd erupted into cheers. Sasuke and Hinata were too glad to be off the stage. "Hinata! Don't let this bastard make you go bad...you're a nice girl," Naruto said with a mischievous wink. Hinata fainted.


"Ladies and gentlemen! Before we announce our next couple, we going to have a short interlude with a performance from Plonkie the clown magician and his assistant Pipette that will dazzle your imagination and leave you hanging off your seats," Jiraiya said. "Plonkie and Pipette" wandered on stage. "That is one angry looking clown," Kisame commented, "And, it may be my imagination, but he looks kind of familiar too..."

The destruction begins now...Zabuza was tingling, he couldn't wait to launch a bloody massacre. "For our first trick, Plonkie will be sawing someone in half!" Haku (Pipette) announced, "Any volunteers?" Haku scanned the crowd and was greeted with a very strange sight; many people were slumped over on the tables looking unconscious, some were normal, some were dancing without any music playing and others were looking dazed or laughing hysterically. "No volunteers? Let me pick then!" Haku said, but Zabuza stopped him.

"How about I chop off all their heads and do my juggling act with their heads," Zabuza suggested loudly.

"Hahaha, isn't he full of jokes..." Haku said laughing uncomfortably.

"I'm serious."

"This is why I'm afraid of clowns," Sakura said nervously.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan, I'll protect you," Naruto said, using the opportunity to put his arm around her.

"I'll volunteer," Hidan said with an evil grin.

"Tobi thinks Hidan loves the spotlight..."

"Fuck you Tobi."

"Please don't! Tobi is still a good boy!"

Hidan got onto the stage for the second time that evening and lay down in Zabuza and Haku's contraption. Zabuza rubbed his hands together gleefully and picked up his sword which was lewdly decorated with ribbons and whatnot. He swung it and – "FUCK!"

Blood coated the stage, a shocked silence ensued, Hidan was pissed. "You fucker! You really chopped me in half! I'll sue your ass, what kind of clown magician are you?"

Zabuza was looking confused, shit, shit, why didn't he die? What fuckery is this?

The Jounin were already advancing on them. "Zabuza-san, I think it's time we leave the building!" Haku suggested as they disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving two logs behind.

"After them!" Tsunade commanded the Jounin on duty.


Hidan was still lying in the contraption, cursing his lungs out until Kakuzu carried him away to repair him. "Keep an eye on those two as well, I don't trust them," Tsunade said to Kakashi, Jiraiya, Anko, Asuma, Gai and Kurenai, as she watched Kakuzu and Hidan go into the kitchen area.

"Why isn't anybody freaking out and running for the exit?" Neji wondered out loud to Tenten. It was true, people were still sitting somewhat calmly and calling for the next karaoke couple. "I dunno...maybe it's because they all seem drunk and high for some reason!" Tenten said.

"Seems like there are others here that would like to see Konoha demolished," Pein mused, "However, why isn't the poisoned pancakes killing anyone? I've already made five more batches because people are eating them like there's no tomorrow. What kind of weak poison is this, Sasori?" Pein was holding the bottle up for Sasori to see. A frown crossed Sasori's face, "Leader-sama, where did you take this from?"

"From the top shelf of your poisons cupboard just as you told me."

"Leader-sama, this is the mixture I use to make my space muffins."

"So what you're saying is...I've just supplied all these imbeciles with space pancakes?"


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