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I'll go with you

By bookwyrm


The Decision

“I’ll go with you!” Hermione exclaimed, launching her aching body onto Harry's. His arm’s automatically fitted around her body. She didn’t want to send him to his death, and she hated that he was so willing to give everything up for what he thought was the correct option. He was stupid. 

She would have to live a life without him. 

She could feel the tears running down her face, but she didn’t care. If this was the last moment she had with him, then she would let her emotions out. She didn’t care that she should be reassuring him that this was the right choice, because in her eyes it wasn’t. It was unfair that their side was asking an 17 year old boy to give up his life. It was unfair that they were asking her to let him go. 

Harry Potter, was more than the boy-who-lived.

Harry who remembered her when no one else did, and saved her from the troll.

Harry who never put her down, never laughing at her features or her intelligence. Rather he called her brilliant, time and time again.

Harry was her first true real friend. He was the first person apart from her family that gave her a birthday gift, even if it was just a bookmark (she still had it hidden her ‘Hogwarts:A History' book).

Harry was everything to her. She gave up everything for him and she wasn’t going to let everything she gave up go to waste. She couldn’t bear the idea of being in a world where her parents didn’t remember her and Harry was dead.

 If he died then she would probably kill herself. She had nothing else to live for, not really. She had spent the last 7 years protecting him and she wasn’t going to let all that effort go to waste. She couldn't undo the spell on her parents, and everyone else would be getting on with their lives. She wouldn't no couldn't be able to do that. 

She would do what Hermione did best. 

She would save Harry. 

She had nothing left to lose apart from Harry. Ron had his family, her friends had other friends, her parents were happy in Australia, and Harry  had Ginny. 

It hurt so much to know the man she loved, loved someone else. But if that made him happy and forget her death, then it would be worth it she hoped. He could grow old with her, get a job as an Auror with Ron, meet the surviving DA every month, have children that he would name after the people he admired, and have a wonderful life. Without her, that is. 

She wouldn't see him get his first job, she wouldn't see him grow old like she wanted too, she wouldn't be able to scold her boys for putting themselves in danger while she had a safe career, she wouldn't be able to have a laugh at the DA meetings, she wouldn’t get married, she wouldn’t have her wonderful wedding night, she wouldn’t have children, and she wouldn't be able to see her children off to school. 

But that was okay - she didn't think she would be able to cope seeing him do that with Ginny. 

She hated that she felt jealous of Ginny, for Ginny was a wonderful person who she considered her best girl friend. She knew they were right for each - everyone said they reminded them of Lily and James. She would support them even after her death, like she supports them now. Ginny loved him and he loved Ginny. That was the only thing that mattered. Her feeling didn’t matter because they were unrequited. It made her feel like James Potter or Professor Snape sometimes because they felt unrequited love for Lily (if the stories Sirius and Remus told were true). At least James love became unrequited, she felt sorry for those like her and Snape. It didn’t really matter anymore though. 

Lily, how she would have liked to met her. It was funny how she would make the same choice as she did. Voldermort couldn't kill Harry if he couldn't touch him. She would protect him with the same thing Lily had, love. She loved him so much and now would prove it in the ultimate way. 

Her resolved was set,and  her eyes softened as she took in Harry and Ron, who had came over to get her off Harry when it seemed like she wasn't listening or letting go of Harry. She grabbed Ron and pulled him closer into the group hug. She could hear them asking her what was wrong and that she had to let go. She couldn't without telling them, even if it was only once. 

"No matter what happens, just know that I love you both so much," She said her voice cracking slightly.  She could feel the boys stiffening in her arms, as they processed the hidden meaning behind her words. She could feel them pulling themselves from her and she allowed it. She opened her eyes, which she hadn't realised she had closed, to take them in and remember every last detail that she could. 

"You know you have dirt right there," She said fondly to Ron, who she loved but realised she wasn't in love with. She pointed to it on her nose where it was on him, and he gave a sob laugh at the memory before wiping it. The look he gave her was one filled with regret, sorrow, love, fondness and understanding; she realised now that he had more emotions than only a teaspoon full. 

"Hermione..." He started but didn't finish. There were too many things to say, but it wasn't the time. 

"I know Ron, I know," She said. She did know that in another life there may have been something between them. They may have had two children and lived in a small house with a big enough garden for them to play quidditch. 

"Hermione, I need to do this. You don't need to. Just go and help Ron find the last horcrux, and I'll find you later," Harry said pleading, his eyes filled with unshed tears. He didn’t want any of this, he didn’t want anyone to do for him, and he didn’t want to die himself. 

"Sure, I'll find you later. Just say safe,” She said. She couldn’t let him know what she was planning. She just had to pretend to let him go alone before following him and putting her plan into action. 

She watched Harry leaving before she looked at Ron who just nodded before walking away to find a way to destroy the last Horcrux. She saw Lavender come up and hug him.She could see them together, and the thought didn’t hurt much. She should have been less possessive of her boys; that was one of her regrets in life. The other was not giving the people the chance she said she would. 

She started walking, not through the front doors like Harry did, but a secret passageway she memorised on the Marauder Map. On her way there, she saw Draco alone in a corridor with an injury to his arm. Stopping in her track, she knew that this was one thing she could amend. Slowly she started walking to him, so she would not frighten him. She saw how he became tense at her footsteps, how he looked around for his wand (yet it could not be found), and how recognition flashed in his eyes. She saw how he watched her warily as she healed his arm before leaving him, healed and armed with her own wand. No word was spoken, because none were needed.

She walked away, satisfied that she had finally done one last good deed. Her hatred for Malfoy had disappeared in her deed and she walked away feeling a lot lighter. 

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