Keep Me Sane (Shizaya Fanfic)


(Shizuo's POV)

Our faces were inches apart from each others. Izaya's raven-black hair dangled in front of his eyes making it difficult for me to know if he was closing his eyes or not. Izaya was trembling. I'm not sure if I should go ahead and kiss him or not. But I can't resist myself from doing it any longer. It's not even a week and here I am, trying to make a move with the person I'm supposed to be supervising. Besides, it's just gonna be a useless kiss, there was no significance behind it. This is purely for work use only. There's no point in waiting any further, I lean in.

(Izaya's POV)

Shizu-chan was so close to me that I could feel and hear his breath. Shit! I'm going to lose my mind. Just then, the door bursts open and Shizu-chan quickly backs away from me and stands up. The person at the door was Mr. K, Shizu-chan holds out his hand to help me off the floor and I reluctantly accept.

"There you guys are," Mr. K says in short breaths, "C'mon Shizuo-san, slowly get away from Orihara-san and we can discuss this."

I click my tongue, but I don't complain. Shizu-chan stands still and I look up at him.

"Give me half an hour, we still have a chance to help Izaya from breaking down any further," Shizu-chan declares with determination.

Eh? Shizu-chan this is your chance to escape from me, what're you doing idiot?!

Mr. K gives an exasperated smile, "G-Go ahead."

He leaves us alone without closing the door. Shizu-chan starts walking to the doorway and I follow.

"We should leave now," Shizu-chan informs me.

I stop my tracks and squeeze my fists. Shizu-chan notices that I'm not moving and walks back to me.

"What's the matter," he tilts his head.

"W-We're not g-going to do that?" I stutter in disappointment.

"Do what?"

"You know, k-kissing..." My voice grew faint at the last part.

Shizu-chan goes quiet for a few seconds then knocks the door close and pins me to the wall. He grips both of my wrists and place them above my head.

"Even if I were to kiss you, you know that there's no importance of it," he says with a grim look.

He looks straight in my eyes and I turn red, "O-Of course! I already knew that."

"Then do you still want to try?" He smirks and leans closer.

"N-No way!" I release from his grip and push him back.

His eyes widen. I clench my teeth and slam the door open. I turn back to look at Shizu-chan and run into the dark hallway. It's no doubt that he wouldn't know my true feelings, but toying around with me like that is painful.

I put my hand on my heart as I jogged in the hall, it was rapidly beating, I'm sure everyone could've heard it if they were in my range.

(Shizuo's POV)

I stand there speechless. To think that Izaya would be able to show that kind of expression. He looked so hurt when he looked back at me. It was excruciating to watch him leave like that. I think twice on whether I should go after him or if it was for the best and let him leave.

I tighten my fists, of course I'd never leave him alone. I walk out the door. It was pitch black except for the light that produced from Izaya's room.

After minutes of running around in the halls , I see a figure huddled in a corner. The figure sniffled occasionally and I walk closer.

"Izaya," I whisper.

The figure freezes, not making a sound. I put my hand on his shoulder and he pulls away. I go onto my knees and hug him from behind. He had a sweet scent emitting off of him, but it was no time to think for that.

I rest my chin on his shoulder and say, "Sorry."

There was no response from Izaya.

"Idiot..." His voice was inaudible.


"I said idiot! I hate you! I hate YOU! I HATE YOU!" Izaya struggles to get out of my grasp.

He continuously says the same three words and it echoes throughout the halls. I help him up and lead him back to his room. I close the door once we get in and make sure it's locked. I turn and look at Izaya who's still mumbling the same words over and over again.

(Izaya's POV)

Why? Why, why, why, why, why?! It's too cruel! Why do I love someone like you Shizu-chan?! Why did you have to go after me? I was simply fine being alone. But now I have to suck it up and look at Shizu-chan without getting hurt emotionally.

I glance a look at Shizu-chan and I see him trying to say something, but I can't hear a word he says.

Shit! I'm breaking down again. Two breakdowns in a day, what a record. It's okay, I don't want to live in this world anymore, I've said this once and I'll say it again, "what's the point without Shizu-chan?"

Tears well up in my eyes and blocks my vision, it was now blurry. I wipe my tears on my sleeve and look away from him.

Where the heck is the other side of me when you need it. Hurry up and kill him, that's what you wanted, right? So where the hell are you hiding?! I stare at Shizu-chan with a bloodthirsty look in my eyes.

I hate you!- But I love you! The fuck is it with me? My feelings are mixed up.

"No one's here for you, no one loves you..." a voice floats around in my ears.

I chuckle without a sound. Haha, just shut up.

(Shizuo's POV)

"Izaya," I call out to him.

He paid no attention to me, he blocked out all words that I said and continues to mutter.

"Izaya, I can't-!" My voice cracks and I clear my throat, "I can't kiss you so casually!"

He looks at me with wide eyes.

"Say that from the beginning," he falls weakly on the floor.

Izaya hugs his knees and starts to weep quietly. I go in front of him and kneel down. I held his chin up so we were looking at one another in the eyes.

"But since you're breaking down, I have no excuse whatsoever," I lean closer to him without hesitation.

"Eh?-" I cut Izaya's words off.

Our lips touched, his lips were soft. I'm sure that this kiss has at least "some" meaning behind it. It was a kiss that I couldn't describe, it was magical even though I didn't believe in magic. I evaded his mouth by adding my tongue in it. We play around trying to see who had more dominance in this kiss. Izaya's face was hot as the sun and we part lips.

"T-Take it easy!" Izaya staggers, "This is m-my first k-kiss!"

"Ehhh? Is that so?"

Our foreheads touched and I give him a sly smile making his face go even redder.

"Well then, itadakimasu (thank you for the meal)," I teased him.

"S-Stupid," he cups my cheeks in his hands and he warm-heartedly smiles at me.

This time it causes my face to go red.

"So even Shizu-chan can blush," he laughs.

I blush even wilder, "Well it's only because of you!"

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