Keep Me Sane (Shizaya Fanfic)


(Shizuo's POV)

It's been days since I've last seen Izaya after the breakdown... and the kiss. Izaya's going under special training for the next few weeks. I'm only able to visit him twice a week which is not enough. So while he's at rehab, I decided to buy him his favourite chocolate. And it's not that cheap.

This was an unfaithful day, right after I got hold of enough money to buy Izaya chocolates. It wasn't even a week since the breakdown, I haven't even visited Izaya yet. But then, Mr. K. called in to tell me something.


"Mr. K? Is something wrong?"

"Actually... It'll take more than just mere weeks till you get back to your regular working schedule. Izaya still needs time."

"But I thought!-"

"So it might be a few more months, oh and I forgot to mention that you won't be able to visit him anymore till he's back! Don't worry! You still have full pay. Bye!" Mr. K. hangs up.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Confusion wells up my body and I can't let go of this feeling that maybe this seems a bit odd. Me not being able to see Izaya for more than a month is dreading. Especially since I haven't been able to talk properly to him after we've kissed. If I can't talk to Izaya, I'll go all old-school and write him letters, he can't be forbidden to doing that.

Ever since the kiss, I've been experiencing different kinds of emotions that I never knew existed. I put my cellphone in my pocket and start thinking about what I should write for Izaya.

I nervously stand at the outside of the asylum. I walk in circles with the letter I wrote close to my chest. I feel like some big loser getting ready to confess to their crush or something. I pinch myself and I go inside the building all flustered.

I look around and I see Mr. K. talking all jolly with one of the workers. I appear from behind him and he flinches once he noticed me.

"S-Shizuo-san?!" He exclaims.

"Yo, um- I won't stay long," I start to walk towards Izaya's room.

"W-Wait!" Mr. K. grabs hold of my arm, "Orihara-san can't be bothered now, is there anything that you need to pass down to him?"

I feel the tip of my ears burning and I start to ask him for a favour, "Actually, there is, can you give this letter to him?"

Mr. K. smiles, "Ahhh youth!"


"Nevermind," he waves me off, "I'll be sure to give him this."

"Thanks," I felt relieved, "I'll be going now."

(Izaya's POV)

I peeked in the little crack of light that my boarded up window provided. Is that Shizu-chan I see? I duck low so I wouldn't be seen. I see him hand a letter to Mr. K. and waves at him. Mr. K. happily waves back and once Shizu-chan leaves, Mr. K. took one look at the letter and rips it into half. He tosses it onto the side and starts walking off.

I wonder what was in that letter. And why was Shizu-chan here? I want to call out to him and plead for help. But I don't want him to see me in this pathetic state. My wrists and ankles were bounded with rope after all.

(Unrevealed POV)

I open Izaya's door and I see him shiver at my sudden movement. I close the door, making sure it was locked and slowly walked towards him.

"Izaaaaaaya," I patted his head.

"W-What is it?" He whispers.

"Eh?... That's too quiet..." I caressed his cheek, "I can't fucking hear you! You scoundrel!" I kick him on his side.

There was no reaction to Izaya whatsoever, he just stayed down, without a sound.

"Oi, oi!" I knelt down and grabbed onto his hair until we were at eye level, "You can't die on me now," I grinned, "Especially since your precious Shizu-chan is obediently waiting for you to get out of rehab."

(Shizuo's POV)

I don't know the exact date when I'll be able to work with Izaya again. For the meantime, whenever I have time to slack off, I always find myself at the front of the asylum. I somehow resist the temptation to go inside the building and see Izaya. Just a few more months, I sigh. Izaya, I wonder what you're doing...

After 3 Months:

I'm in the middle of beating a guy up because of his overdue taxes and I suddenly feel my phone vibrate. I excuse myself from Tom-san and pick it up.


"Shizuo-san?" It was Mr. K.

"Why are you calling?" I asked with a bit of hope.

"You're able to go back to the asylum and work with Izaya again!"

"Really?" I ask in surprise.

"Yup, you don't have to go through the backdoor and-"

"I'm going there now!" I cut him off and ended the call.

I run back to Tom-san and tell him that I have something urgent to do. He allows me to go and I start sprinting to the asylum.

I'm at the front door and I fix myself up before I go in. I redo my crooked tie and flattened down my vest. I comb my hair with my hands and take off my sunglasses. I take one step inside and I see Mr. K. already there to greet me.

"You don't need to worry about changing into your worker clothes, but I forgot to tell you-"

I don't bother listening to Mr. K. and I just start to run towards Izaya's room.

"W-Waiiit!" Mr. K.'s voice drowned in the hallways, but I still keep on running.

I stare quietly at the doorknob. I give myself a second and burst into the room.


Izaya turns around with a blank expression and nonchalantly asks, "Do I know you?"

"W-What do you mean?"

"I've never seen you before."

"I-I'm Heiwajima Shizuo," I introduced myself in panic.

"Hmmm, Heiwajima-san... Well, please to make your acquaintance," Izaya puts his hand out.

His emotions were neutral, I've never seen him like this before. Before I last saw him he was either really happy and upbeat or really sinister and deathly. I stare at him with disbelief and he tilts his head.

I see Mr. K. at the end of the hall, trying to catch up to me.

"I forgot to tell you," he says, catching his breath, "Orihara-san over here doesn't remember you."

"What happened?"

"You see, Orihara-san has amnesia."

I look at Izaya, then back at Mr. K.

My eyes widen. This can't be happening. This is just a dream right?

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