Why? Why didn't he tell me sooner? Does he not trust me? Was our relationship just built up on a foundation of lies?
I gritted my teeth. I found it frustrating how I couldn't understand what was going on. It was one of my many quirks that I had to live with. I want to- No, I have to know how the whole situation was processing. It was like a game board with all the pieces at my hands. I was the one who looked down and observe the situation. I was the one who was in control. But now, my position is being treated like a joke. Without knowing what's actually happening, I'm just another pawn.
I hear the lock being unlatched. I wipe my tears away with my sleeve, then I get up and wipe the floor full of tears with my sock. I then quickly rush my way into the bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror, I was a mess. I decided to take a shower to let my problems flow away.
I step out of the bathroom and I see Shizu-chan walking his way towards the stairs.
"Ah Shizu-chan!" I forced myself to smile, "I'm gonna get ready to go to the restaurant right now, make sure you have enough money!" I winked at him.
"Izaya, we need to talk," Shizu-chan stares at me straight in the eyes.
Eh?! W-Was this about being targeted, will he finally leave me for good, am I going to be alone? Panic starts to rise up and I quietly ask, "What is it?"
He clasps his hands together catching me off guard, "Please! Just this once, can we go somewhere else?"
Geh!? This is totally different from what I expected? What the actual fuck is going on!?
"I mean there's this place I wanna go to and it's going to start today," Shizu-chan takes a poster out of his back pocket and shows me, "I know you're gonna laugh, but c-can we go the the Fireworks Festival tonight?"
I stare at the poster, dumbfounded, I look at Shizu-chan, "H-How cliché can you get?" I try to hold back my laughter.
He twiddles with his thumbs and bite his lip, "I've never been to one and I thought if I was going to one for the first time, then I might as well bring a special someone along."
Our faces were then both flushed with red.
I rub my temples and look at the ground, "Geez Shizu-chan, this is so cliché! B-But for the sake of one night, I-I guess it won't hurt to go with you... J-Just this once!"
His face lights up and hugs me, "Thanks Izaya, I love you."
I hug him even tighter.
I have to tell you about the "target situation" soon.
"Oi flea, we're gonna be late! Hurry up!" Shizu-chan nags at me.
"Alright, alright," I rush downstairs.
"It's almost starting!" He looks at the clock.
I tie on my shoes, " Gosh, even Shizu-chan can act like a little kid at the most surprising times."
"Well this is a special occasion," he goes closer to my face, causing me to blush.
"Let's go," he grabs my arm.
We barely made it in time before the park starts to open. Somehow, we managed to find a place where we could see the view. It was nice because there was hardly anyone around here. Shizu-chan slowly made his way to my hand and perfectly intertwined with mine. After everyone got settled, the show started. The fireworks exploded throughout the sky. Almost everyone near us "Ohh'd" and "Ahh." I turned around to see how Shizu-chan was holding up. He had the face of a little kid.
Since it was so loud, I guess it didn't hurt to say some stuff I've been holding back. I squeezed Shizu-chan's hand and took a deep breath.
"Shizu-chan, I love you, but if you stay with me, you're obviously going to get targeted, or so I've heard. I don't know the whole situation myself, but I plan to keep you safe. I don't want to leave you but what choice do I have? I'm going to be alone again right? Aren't I? I wanted to spent each and every day with you like this, without any worries to hold us back. Guess that can't happen anymore, right? To be honest, I wanted to spend my whole life with you. Why do we have to live in this twisted world? I guess no one can ever live their whole life uncorrupted. Maybe, if we were in another dimension, I'd definitely want to be with you, no matter what it takes! Heiwajima Shizuo, I love you."
"Izaya? What's wrong?" Shizu-chan asks.
"N-Nothing! I was just too immersed with the fireworks," I frantically made an excuse.
"Even the Great Izaya can't keep his eyes away from this stunning show," Shizu-chan grins smugly.
"Not r-really," I looked away.
Now that I think about it, we looked so isolated from everyone else, it's like this was all part of a... plan...
Alarmed, I looked left and right to try and find the slightest change at the park. I noticed that shadows lurked deep in the trees, making it easier to know 'their' location. But I had no clue exactly who they were. I became aware enough that I even heard rustles in the bushes. I then knew, we were surrounded.
"Are you sure you're ok? Because you're looking a little pale," Shizu-chan asks me once again.
Shit shit shit, there's no time! Why? Why today? Why does every fucking thing have to block my way?!
"Y-Yeah I'm fine, but I have to do something back at home," I release from his grasp.
"W-Wait Izaya! Why are you going back home?" He interrogated me.
"It's. A. Secret." I did the 'hush' sign and started to walk away.
"Izaya!" He grabs hold of me, "Is something going on?"
I couldn't bear this any longer.
"You'll find out soon enough," I fake a smile and hold out a peace sign.
He loosens his grip and I shake his hand off.
I start to run and I call back at him, "I'll wait for you back at home idiot!"
Sorry, I lied, I wanted you to stop me as many times possible. I actually wanted to tell you that we were surrounded, all because of me.
I find myself at the doorstep and I go in. I pack anything that I could fit into a duffel bag. I looked around and I realize something, I'm really going to miss this place. I go back downstairs and face the door. I held the doorknob, my hands were shaking.
M-Maybe I should write a goodbye note to Shizu-chan... yea, maybe I should.
I ripped a piece of paper from the notepad that was kept by the fridge and started to write. I was trembling as I was wrote, but I had to write something. I needed to! Just to make sure that there was proof that I existed and that I lived here.
I left it near the doorway and grabbed the doorknob, practically using all my force to open it.
I looked back one more time.
I stand at the front of the door, I know that Izaya will be inside, doing some crazy stunt. But why? Why is there a part of me that doubts it?
I open the door and it was pitch black. R-Right, Izaya will probably try to scare me or some shit. I flick on the lights and nothing. There was a only note waiting for me. I don't want to pick it up, but I did anyways. The writing was messy and I could tell Izaya was shaking when he wrote this, but I managed to read the note.
Don't worry! You're not targeted anymore, they're targeting me from the beginning anyways.
I don't wanna burden you any longer.
And, goodbye ^_^
I stared at the note, hoping that if I stare at it long enough, Izaya will pop up out of nowhere. But it never happened.
"Don't wanna burden you, huh? Burden me? What the fuck are you thinking?! You've been the best thing that happened in my entire life! How can you show up into my life and just leave me for good?!" I shout.
I realize I'm talking to a piece of paper and crumple it in my palm. I didn't have the heart to rip the note in half. I lean on the wall and let myself slide off of it until I was sitting on the floor. I looked down and opened my hand. I gazed at the crumpled piece of paper.
Great, I'm alone... again...