6. What am I doing?
6. What am I doing?
If she had been plunged in a coma by the violent end of her entire world, the shock of kissing the hard floor of his room totally woke up her mind. At first she didn't care about his anger or mocks, and then an anger she didn't know lived in her made her lash at him.
Getting excited by that, Madara got more brutal until the total awakening of her survival instincts.
Death never came and the pain, internal and external, seemed to never end. It wouldn't end and tired of this suffocating agony that only seemed to fuel life in her veins, she begged despite herself. On her knees she looked into the lusty face of the older man.
"Please! I didn't know what I was doing-"
"Of course you did! I can only imagine the feeling of freedom" he said with a grin
"I was –not I'm stupid! I-I won't ever do that again"
"Escape from here"
He looked as if surprised. There she saw a way to escape from him and mourn on her own.
A sudden deep and loud sound erupted in the room.
Madara was laughing as if what she said was the joke of the century. He laughed so hard soon his large and hard body shook. As sudden as it appeared, the sound disappeared but left a satisfied smiled on his handsome face.
"Escape… when I listen to you I can't believe you're stupid enough to think you could run efficiently from this over-guarded house. My dear, I saw you when you sneaked out with your shoes in hands" he marked a pause but looked down with the same grin into her frightened face "And I waited, a bit disappointed of all the time wasted in your hesitation"
He obliged her to stand by tugging harshly her hair. He was so tall and bigger than her that her dead felt so imminent.
"Ah! Pl-please" she whimpered "it hurts"
"You know, even if you don't love me there are tons of women who would kill to be at your place, whether be it for my looks and/or money. You were the first to resist me and I liked it amongst other reasons" he tugged harder, she cried "I won't lie –I'd loved the chase, and the terrified way you had always looked at me. It's such a turn on. Having you challenge me today, I couldn't refuse your invitation."
He pushed her hard onto the queen sized bed where she got the glimpse of shiny handcuffs.
"I love the hide and seek game that unfolded tonight. I let you run so I could come after you. It was so fun and it had me all bothered and hot. Did I ever talk about my unconventional pastime?"
That night he introduced her to the hardcore world of BDSM; that night she discovered what a sadist and unstable man she married; that night she discovered how alone she was and would always be. She discovered the latter after how many hours he had tortured her, fucked her like a merciless monster and how despite the repeated and noisy bangs of the bed against the wall, no one came to save her…
She was alone….
It was only once sitting and screaming to the top of her lungs that she realized what she was doing. She jerked from her nightmare with so much force yet not enough that it took her some time to grasp reality. She was there alone and Uchiha Madara was dead. She had won.
Out of energy, Hinata fell back in the soft inviting mattress, not caring about her sweaty body or sticky bangs.
How long will she have to take all of that? Sleepless night upon sleepless nights, her body was slowly feeling the effect. She zooned out too much often, her body felt so dull and dark thoughts kept torturing her.
If she wasn't thinking about how much death was inviting, she would wonder what exactly she was doing with her life – sometimes the need to just give up everything and disappear in another land felt so strong she would entertain the idea. She felt that her life wasn't about living but surviving or existing and trying to make up catch phrases to make the heavy load bearable. But what was that load? Was her hate worth all the stress and uncared health?
What was she seeking in the end… then she would remember all. She would remember how she had surrendered all her life and had been in Sasuke's hand, how she put her life at risk to join him so they could run away, how she forgave him a second time even after his treason with that pink haired girl and a third time through an unanswered letter.
He had left her behind in a cold, merciless world and between the cruel hands of a sociopath that even tried to kill him. He never came back for her… and she went through all kind of physical and mental tortures that changed her forever.
As much she had adored him like a god, as much she hated him now. To think he came to show off how happy he was! She just had to do it. To think he dared to come into her house with that bitch to mock her. After burning his house, she hadn't feel any need to torture him more, but that ultimate affront and proof of his lack of consideration, she would make him pay.
She had to.
It was her hate of him that kept her together, so she'd cling to it as the lifeline it was.
She sighed and turned to her right…
"'These violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which, as they kiss, consume'…"
She so agreed with that great dramaturge..
One month went by since their last encounter. In few weeks Sasuke got a new job through Sakura, a new flat and things was fine -too fine by his standards. Nothing went bad, not even for clingy co-workers. In fact, there was even stranger than strange.
Hinata did nothing.
After all her threats and glares she did nothing in the slightest, besides making him obsessed all over again. It wasn't the kind of obsessed been-in-love but the kind of being paranoid. Every move felt like it came from her. Sasuke even started seeing her everywhere, until she starred in his dreams. To top it all she made him rethinking everything.
Because of his life finally looking somehow normal, Naruto and Karin –strangely close- sneaked behind his back so they would go out celebrate. Either it was the way they seemed suddenly close or the fact that she seemed too calm –like calm preceding some major storm- the situation left Sasuke surprised but only for short lapse of time.
They arrived to a bar Sasuke knew too well. Once there, Karin went to some other corner –really, really strange- without a word and Naruto proposed to play pool. Naruto kept chatting while Sasuke waited for his turn….
"You never played pool?" he asked with a lopsided smile
"No" she said shaking her head
"Where have you being?" he asked with a grimace
"Waiting I guess?" she answered with a shy smile
"Come here. I'll show you how"
Sasuke took her arm and pulled her back into his chest. He knew she was blushing but being so close to her was too good to let go, so he gave her time to relax in his arms –she had never being at ease with PDA.
"A-ano, Sasuke-kun… people are watching"
"Let them watch"
"You are attracting too much attention"
"Are you ashamed of me?"
"I thought so"
"Stop teasing me Sasuke-kun!"
"I swear I tried" he mocked and kissed her navy blue hair
"I'll get back to you" she pouted but when she looked up she smiled at him with red cheeks, and he smiled back "the pools aren't empty though. I don't want to ruin their play. We can wait a bit-"
"Do you wanna play?"
"Ye- no, it's okay for me Sasuke-kun"
"Look, I can go there and make us play-"
"No, don't go there and seek for troubles"
"Are you ashamed-?"
"I'm not and I'll never be ashamed of you. If anything, I'm afraid of the contrary –no, don't talk. Places like these are full of louts and maybe worse. I couldn't take it if you went out of here with even a scratch." She looked up at him with eyes full of worry to the brim "I don't want to get you hurt in anyway"
There were times like this when she would look at him with utter adoration and love he knew words weren't enough to transcript. He remembered how sometimes she dreamt of him going away, and she'd be hard to completely comfort. She'd kiss him and embrace him as if her life depended on that.
He didn't know how much she loved him but sometimes, it would reflect on her desperate actions or looks and then he'd realize that maybe her love wasn't that far from what he felt too.
It made his chest squeeze painful, yet overflow with warmth as he was receiving back so much love. Sasuke caressed her cheek and she leaned into his large palm, a bit demonstrative at the shelter of people eyes.
"I just wanted to bet money against a party for us"
"Maybe some are crazy, so I still don't want. Let's do something else –whatever you'd want" she pressed more eager to go "tomorrow we'll come sooner to get a chance to play. I won't run away I swear. I just hope you're not too disappointed" she asked, showing so much fragility in those snowy eyes
"It depends on our others emergency exits"
Without saying more, he dipped to reach her lips he lashed onto….
Sasuke shuddered out of his daydream and blinked as if waking from a dream. Slowly, he shook his head and looked at a confused Naruto.
"Are you okay?"
"Just thinking… remembering stuffs"
"Yeah, you looked so dreamy like a schoolgirl remembering her crush" Naruto said, then laughed
"What the hell… tsk, just let it go."
"Ooh, someone is hiding something" Naruto wiggled his eyebrows
"Instead of saying stupidity, why don't you play?"
"It's your turn! But you're apparently too busy daydreaming about some chick you forgot where you were" Naruto laughed harder
"I can see you still need that brain implant" Sasuke hissed unhappily
"You always say this when I get to a sensitive subject" Naruto sneered
"What about you? You seem close to Karin"
"What's your problem with her?"
"You're so childish sometimes. I'm still laughing my ass out in my head so cute you were" Naruto added mimicking kissing in the air
"Whatever." Sasuke finally muttered before resuming the game
"The white shirt and black tie certainly do you better service than that stupid t-shirt. I'm sure you already have all the girls on your feet at work as usual" Naruto scoffed
"Surprisingly enough, I'm quite left alone."
"Your ultimate dream!"
"You said it"
"What about your boss"
"Yamato is fine I guess."
"Gotta thank Sakura for finding you the dream job"
"I won't say dream job, but it's in a room with a/c and the paycheck is good so yeah. I thanked her"
"Did you thank her as she deserves?"
"Hearing you speaking is like I should ask her hand"
"I'm sure she wishes"
Sasuke finally stopped but instead of starting his play, Naruto caught Sasuke's meaningful gaze.
"What? Don't tell me… Whoa. I'm really on my ass right now"
"She didn't ask me to marry her, but she wants to move in with me… and she's indirectly asking that too"
"Some big step man, some big step there"
"Is that all? Aren't you going to oblige me to marry her or something?"
"You know what I think about that. She's a nice girl who saved you without knowing you, and you deserve a family and happiness. But that's your choice to make –you're an adult now and you know what you want or need"
"Glad you learn your lessons" Sasuke sneered
"As long as your decisions aren't self-harmful that's fine by me. However, don't focus too much on the past. Instead, think hard about future. Let's try this: how do you imagine your life in… ten years?"
"The same way you see yours"
"Married with a loving and an amazing woman loving me back and ton of kids surrounding me?"
"For me you've everything: a good job, a soon-to-be doctor girl wanting your sorry ass along a child to start a family, and she loves you so much it's written all over her face. Whatever will be your choice, think very hard about that. When I look at your situation, I hope to have the same chance one day"
"You don't try to. Even worse, you're doing the total opposite of that 'dream of yours"
"Ché" Naruto pouted "I'm ambitious"
"I guess I'm not enough ambitious for you"
"Not the same thing. The girl is delivered to you on a silver stray. Me on the other hand, I'd have to go and seek THAT girl. That's a time I can't afford now, especially with my dreams"
"You lame excuses aside, I don't want to marry her… I'm not ready. But I don't want either to be an absent father."
"You want it all your way"
"That's how I want thing as the adult you introduced earlier"
"Is there anything keeping you from accepting Sakura's devotion?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're saying you're not the marrying type, yet you were ready to die to be able not only to repay Maleficient's father debt, but to marry her too. You had once thought about marriage and family"
"Those are things from the past"
"Be honest: are you still… in love with Hinata?"
"What? Where the bloody hell did you go fetch that one?"
"I don't know, but that blind hate that makes you dare tempting one of the most powerful women in this country feel like all your actions are fueled by something else."
"Like revenge as she wants to erase me from the map?"
"Like someone who is hurt because somebody else didn't return back their feelings"
"Where the hell do you get all your shitty theories?"
"Come on, man! There are plenty of people trying to get revenge on their exes to get them back. I know the other side of the coin, but seeing you so closed to girls, especially Sakura, I'm just wondering"
"I don't feel anything anymore about her"
"Well, then I propose you to let go and start to live. Besides, what's your revenge plan? Kill her?"
"NO!" Sasuke hissed, then calm down "no, but I just don't know yet"
"Even if you don't her any harm, the powerful name of Uchiha gives her access to dangerous people. Sure, we can do something but that'd be a useless blood bath"
"And what makes you think she'd let go? She burned the house without me ever addressing to her after her departure"
"Ah, whimsical girl is just a bluff. First she just wants divorce to keep her bloody money. Secondly, she was the one to go away, not her…" Naruto narrowed his eyes "Had you ever been unfaithful?"
"No!" Sasuke scolded "You know me better than that. Damn, you even know about our relationship"
"Yeah, unfortunately too well."
"It's me who knew too much about you sexual escapades"
"Yeah, whatever. Did you ever say 'Hey! Those jeans make your ass big?'"
"Did you ever say she was wrong or laughed at romantic movies she loved?"
"I'm not playing '21 questions' with you"
"Anyway, you never had done anything that could piss even normal girls out there. Why would she hurt you? Because, you didn't agree on the movie to see? This is just boredom eating at her. Come on man, she'd said 'I'd be the bad guy'" Naruto laughed remembering that moment "LOL, she's trying to enter your mind, don't let her do" Naruto muffled his laugh this time, too well aware of the seriousness, yet amused by her words
"She's still burned my house. I could have been inside"
"Let's be serious. If she really wanted to kill you, that'd have been done long time ago. Just sign her fucking divorce papers and we'd be done. I'm not taking her lightly, but we've got to be real on this, and you need to keep a low profile. I was against going to her house. It's like defying her. Of course I lost my shit there but I don't side Sakura on this, even though I know what she was trying to do"
"What was she trying to do?"
"The good ol' new model trying to get at the old model. Anyway, sign it quick and keep it low. Eventually, she'd get tired. All that she said that day was out of pride"
"What makes you think that?"
"Because there's no reason a gold-thirsty evil that had no reason to hold grunges against you, comes after you. Like Sakura, I think too that there's lingering feelings for Hinata. Unsigned divorce papers? You need to focus on that"
"She seems to think I owned her something. She said so after you dramatic exit"
"She accepted your help but didn't wait to marry the older and richer; she accepted to marry the man that locked up her father, made her indecent proposal to free him and tried to kill you. She threw away your heart and love, and left you broken. You'd drunk yourself into oblivion and then Sakura came and help you get back on your feet. The worse was she was your wife, yet she didn't even ask divorce papers probably out of fear that you'd reclaim anything or that Madara would put her out.
What did you do to her or to deserve that? Nothing. She's definitely influencing you to get the divorce. You have loved the wrong person, and now you'd better get your shit together and wake up."
Naruto looked behind Sasuke.
"How are you doing? Sasuke-kun?"
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"What? Surprised girls can actually go to bars? You're such a sexist"
"Is Sakura-Chan there?"
"Always about Sakura-Chan" she rolled her eyes "no, she isn't there"
"Well, how about a game? I'm sure I'll beat the daylight out of you without touching you"
"Ugh, you're the worst! I'm going to do that to you!"
After thirty minutes, not only Ino but some co-workers of Sasuke found them, along Suigetsu, Juugo, and Karin who kept her distances. The evening went well, and Sasuke tried to relax as much as possible.
His new neighborhood was still as deadly quiet as the older one but it was safer and better in term of design. It wasn't his intention to move away but that same evening after coming back from Hinata's, Kakashi threw him out and said he'd move out too. He never asked why and accepted. His main reason was that he was an adult and it was about time to move on –that home had too many suffocating memories.
In his new flat, he seemed to breathe better. Since Kakashi was even more absent than before and didn't have a residence, Sasuke made a second key for him to come over if needed. So it was without fear or apprehension that he discovered his flat already opened. Even the lack of calls didn't surprise him since Kakashi liked to play the ghost lately.
Right in the middle of undoing his tie, two shadows detached from his peripheral vision. He stiffened. What were two strangers were doing in his living room? What that piece of information hid, it was resurfacing the pool of his reason.
He abruptly faced them, but didn't show his slight anxiety. If they had to fight he could take them down.
The two men were tall, wearing black suits looking expensive and had their hair long and in neat ponytail. The younger one face seemed to pull at some forgotten strings, but nothing re-emerged in his memories. This whole situation screamed danger, a very well-known danger. Damn, he felt stupid!
"Who the fuck are you?
"We are Itachi and Izuna from the Uchiha family"
He knew it
Looking at his left, he saw an abnormally white Kakashi sitting in one of the dark brown sofas. He couldn't help but wondering what the hell they did or said to put Kakashi through such state.
The Uchiha name, the expensive clothing… it was definitely Hinata and that only thought stiffened him harder, while he thought of a way of defending himself. They wouldn't take him down.
"Sasuke, please take a seat. I've got something important to discuss with you… come and sit down"
He felt stupid so stupid to have doubted about Hinata's real motives for one second…