No Regrets

By Shawnetildawn

Drama / Action

Chapter 7

Starsky could feel the slender arms of Alice wrapped around his chest, the warmth and feel of her breasts and body pressed snugly against his back made him ache with unreleased need, as they raced along the highway to “The Freebirds,” the bar and grill the members dubbed as their clubhouse.

The brunet gritted his teeth, angry with himself, as he felt the tightening in the crotch area of his jeans. “Fuck!” he swore softly under his breath, willing his hard-on to go away. Hating himself for being so weak, for letting the drug take a hold of him, for giving in so easily to Diesel’s offer of comfort whenever he found himself crashing from the clutches of the drug. He hated this! Hated every minute of this assignment! He hated how he had betrayed Hutch and Huggy, hated how he felt sorry for the bad guys whom he’d grown to care for, hated how his heart raced with excitement as he sped along in the dark, hated how he’d have to betray Diesel in a few short days, locking his big brother away behind bars for the better part of his life, but most of all, he just hated himself! He was spiraling down to hell and he didn’t know how to stop it.

“Fuck!” The brunet swore angrily again, his Harley picking up more speed, as he tried to race from the demons that haunted him, that followed and taunted him, stabbing into his already guilty conscience with barbs of shame and remorse.

“Hey,” Alice leaned even closer, trying to speak against the rushing wind. “Pull ovah . . . at that gas station over there,” the blonde woman drawled, pointing over his shoulder at the small Texaco that was lit up in the darkness ahead. The rugged biker nodded curtly, silently acknowledging that he’d heard the woman, leaning into the turn as he steered off the highway, skillfully pulling into the gas station. Starsky put the kickstand down, feeling the warmth of Alice’s arms releasing him. The dark haired cop stood from the Harley, and opened his gas tank. His felt his heart racing as he tried to catch his breath, coughing as he breathed in the cold night air.

An attendant hesitantly came out, obviously afraid of approaching the rugged curly haired biker, who stood rigidly by the pump. “Yes s-sir? C-can I help you?” the old attendant stammered.

Starsky turned, feeling sick inside at the fear he read on the man’s face, “Yeah,” the biker said gruffly, tossing a ten spot at the attendant. “I want some gas, but I’ll be the one filling it . . .y’got that?” The dark haired cop needed some private time to talk to the woman who still sat perched on the Harley.

The old man swallowed, “S-sure mister . . .uh . . . you just gotta watch the numbers comin’ up and s-stop when it hits the ten dollar mark and . . .”

“Yeah,” Starsky interjected impatiently. “I know how t’work this thing. Now get lost and don’t come out here again unless I call for ya!”

“Y-yes s-sir,” the old man stuttered, beating a hasty retreat into his garage, only to peek furtively out the window to watch the dark haired biker dragging the pump’s nozzle to his tank.

Starsky sighed heavily and dragged a hand through his wind-blown curls, feeling agitated and jumpy. He turned to look at the woman who sat quietly on the big, black Harley, watching him with concern in her eyes. He could see that she was cold, the sheer white blouse she wore was paper thin and he could tell she wore no bra underneath, her nipples were hard, tenting the diaphanous material, goosebumps dotting her arms from the cold night air.

Starsky cleared his throat uncomfortably, taking off his denim vest as he walked over to Sweet Alice. “Here,” he said awkwardly, helping her put the vest on, “You’re cold . . .” The brunet could feel a small grin tweak the corners of his mouth, as the young woman smiled up at him.

“Who said that bikers can’t be chivalrous?” Sweet Alice said softly, drawing the edges of the large vest together, the thick material still warm from the brunet’s own body heat. “I never thought I’d ever see you again, Starsky . . . or my Handsome Hutch either for that matter.”

The petite blond looked wistfully down at her small hands clutching the material, “How is Handsome Hutch these days?” she asked softly. “I ah . . .I still think about him a lot. Always wondered what would’ve happened if I just cleaned up my act a bit . . .”

The blonde woman lifted her lashes to peek up at the ruggedly handsome brunet. “I knew you never liked the idea of me flirtin’ with your partner and all, but I thank you for never voicing your disdain in front of me. I know you’ve never condoned my line of work. Hell, . . . I never condoned it either, but a girl needs to make money now and then to survive in the world”

“Yeah? Well you should’ve gotten a job like everyone else,” Starsky snapped coldly, rubbing the back of his wrist against his nose as it continued to run, sniffling, feeling irritable and jumpy as he looked over his shoulder at the dark ribbon of highway, warily anticipating the sounds of motorcycles coming from the warehouse several miles away.

“That was my job. Sometimes that’s all a girl can do especially if . . . never mind, it don’t really matter no how anymore,” Alice said softly . . . almost sadly. She looked over her shoulder at the highway, following the brunet’s gaze, “There ain’t nobody comin’ Starsky. I can’t hear anythin’ at all . . .” she said reassuringly, eyeing the anxious brunet as he turned to look at her, gasping slightly as she saw his dilated eyes.

“You been doin’ coke, haven’t ya, Starsky?” Sweet Alice said quietly, her eyes sad with the discovery she’d just made, “You been doin’ it to keep your cover . . . does Hutch know about this?”

“Shut up!” Starsky snarled, “And stop calling me, Starsky. You’ll slip if you keep doin’ that,” The brunet warned angrily, feeling the pricks of his conscience at the mention of his partner’s name. He could hear the shameful whisper echoing in his mind. ‘He knows.’ The dark haired cop lowered his head and clenched his fists; his long dark lashes hiding the anguish flaring in his heart.

“Hey,” Alice whispered sadly, lifting a slender hand to gently cup the side of brunet’s face, “It’s gonna be okay. Sure it is. There’s been many a time when I thought the world was a’comin’ to an end, but the next mornin’, I look out my window and the sun is still a’shinin’ and the world just goes on and things eventually balances itself right up. You’re a survivor, Starsky, and so am I. We survivors have to do things sometimes, that ain’t quite right, but we do it anyway jus’ t’stay alive.”

The petite blonde woman pulled the dirty vest even closer, smiling as she saw the handsome biker lift his long, dark lashes to wretchedly look at her. “There now, it’s gonna be alright,” she consoled, feeling her heart break at the look of despair on the cop’s face. “You don’ have to worry ‘bout little old me, I’ve been around sugar, I know the score and I nevah, evah slip up . . . Snake,” Alice said, emphasizing the cop’s cover name.

The brunet snorted softly, a grin breaking out as he caught the beautiful blonde’s sly wink, “You gonna keep my cover?”

“Now what do you think, honey?” Alice giggled, “My Handsome Hutch would just shoot me alive if ever I hurt you. He loves you so very much, y’know? Why, if me and that tall handsome blond partner of yours ever hooked up, you’d be my number one competition!”

The brunet snorted softly again, his grin widening, as he heard the lilting sound of Alice’s sweet laughter ringing out into the stillness of the night. “Ah, Alice,” Starsky said smiling, shaking his head, “Hurry up and get your act cleaned up . . . or else I just might marry Hutch before you do.”

Alice giggled once more before turning serious, a little frown marring her forehead. “Now tell me all about Diesel. What am I getting’ myself into?”

“Diesel?” Starsky began, “He’s a good guy . . . for a bad guy that is.” The brunet smiled and winked playfully at the blonde woman when she laughed out loud.

“Now that doesn’t tell me very much,” Alice said giggling, “Ya know sugar, he reminds me a lot of my Handsome Hutch . . .”

“Yeah,” Starsky sighed, feeling suddenly sad and torn. “Me too, Alice . . . me too . . .”

Alice looked at the brunet who lowered his eyes once again, “Hey, Sweetie-pie,” she whispered softly, “I know you’re feelin’ badly ‘bout havin’ t’turn him in . . . I can see it all over your face. You like him, don’t ya?”

Alice reached out a slender finger to trace the outline of the coiled cobra tattooed on the lean muscular bicep of the brunet, her soft voice was filled with wisdom. “Can’t even tell it’s fake. Whoever painted this on, did a helluva good job . . . just like the one you’re doin’.” The blonde woman lifted her lashes and looked up, as the biker’s dark eyes connected with hers.

Starsky watched as Alice smiled and dragged her finger lightly across his chest to his heart, “You and my Handsome Hutch, you’re good cops because of this,” she said softly, tapping where Starsky’s heart was rapidly beating. “You’re both rough and tough, but soft and tender where it counts. People like me and Diesel . . . well . . . we might be good people on the inside, but even good people make stupid choices that get us in a whole heap o’trouble.”

Sweet Alice smiled sadly, tilting her head slightly to look at Starsky, a tendril of her long blond hair falling from her shoulder. “People like you and Hutch on the other hand . . . well . . . you try t’help people like us, but sugar . . . the sad part is, you can’t force us to make the right choices, or make us change, even though it breaks your heart inside to know that we’re goin’ down the wrong path.”

Starsky caught her wayward finger, sliding his hand down the length of it, only to hold her hand and press her open palm gently against his chest, his eyes growing soft as he listened to her gentle words.

“I remembah my mama used t’tell me that’s how God feels. He watches down on all of His children here on earth, a hopin’ and a’prayin’ that they’d make good and wise decisions ‘cause that’s the one thing He can’t control. He gave us all the free will to mess up, or make the most of our lives.” The slender blonde sighed, a sad smile gracing her soft lips. “I guess the good Lord ain’t been too happy with some of the choices I’ve made in my life.”

“You can change those choices at any time, Sweet Alice . . .” Starsky said gently, squeezing her warm hand in his.

Alice laughed softly, “My mama used’ta tell me all the time, that there were three kinds of people in life . . . the wise man, the smart man and the fool. Allison, she’d say, a fool is someone who makes the same mistakes and nevah learns a thing from it, havin’ to go through the pain of his mistakes ovah and ovah again. The smart man, well . . . he makes mistakes too, like we all do, but he learns from the pain he goes through, and he nevah does it again . . .”

“And the wise man?” Starsky asked softly, gently tucking a tendril of golden hair behind her ear.

The slender woman laughed softly. “The wise man? Well, he looks at the other two and the pain that they went through and learns from their mistakes, vowing to nevah do the same thing ‘cause he don’t want no pain in his life.”

“And what does this all have to do with me?” the dark haired detective puzzled, entranced with the alluring southern drawl and the mesmerizing softness of the Alice’s sweet voice.

Alice smiled, slowly shaking her golden head, her eyes softening with compassion. “You can’t save the world Starsky . . . people like me and Diesel . . . well, I guess we’re the fools in life, and if prison is the pain we must go through . . . then so be it. We all make our own choices in life. Don’t you stop from doin’ what’s right, jus’ because others don’t stop from doin’ what’s wrong.”

Starsky stared at the small blonde woman, and the wisdom of her words, feeling a lump in his throat that he attempted to swallow down. “Yeah,” he said softly, cupping the side of her face, “Alice I . . .”

The blonde placed her index finger gently against his lips, stopping the flow of his words. “We better get goin’, Snake. Diesel will probably beat us to that clubhouse if’n we don’t get a move on it right now and quit all of this chatterin’”.

Starsky smiled softly, staring into the blue of her eyes, gently tipping her head down to place a kiss upon her golden crown. “Okay . . . okay,” he said, pulling slowly away. “No more chatterin’, but know this Alice, at anytime, the fool can change into a smart person.”

Sweet Alice giggled softly. “Now hurry up and get your gorgeous tight ass back on this bike, Snake,” the blond woman said, her eyes twinkling mischievously. “Didn’t your mama evah teach you manners? It ain’t polite to keep a lady waitin’.”

Starsky laughed, replaced the nozzle, capped his gas tank and hopped on the bike, feeling Alice’s slender arms wrap once more around his chest, as the roar of the Harley’s engine came to life.

The old station attendant gave a sigh of relief, as the biker pulled his huge, black motorcycle out of the station and out onto the highway, speeding loudly away into the night. The gray haired man walked over to the pump to make sure the biker didn’t do damage to his property. Looking at the meter, the old man looked once more to the now barren highway, scratching his head, a look of puzzlement on his face as he turned once more to look at the gas pump that was never used.

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