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Dragon Ball Z: Just For Fun Collection!

By SwanofWar

Scifi / Humor

All Is Well

Vegeta awoke to a sense of unfamiliarity. He wasn't sure what yet, but something in the Brief Mansion was out of place. At first, he thought it might have something to do with Bulma. It wouldn't have been the first time she had contorted into some weird spider-like pose in her sleep. Turning his head on the pillow, he saw that, sure enough, she had managed to turn sideways in the bed again somehow, her legs dangling over the side and head wedged under his shoulder as she snored. He grunted, grabbing her thigh and turning her back the right way. He put an arm over her to keep her still – as has grown his habit over the years – and prepared to close his eyes.

But no, something still was off.

Knowing he'd never be able to get back to sleep till whatever it was was set right, he climbed out bed, straightened his twisted boxers, and went for a walk around their enormous home. He walked through room after room, the maid robots at working doing their nightly cleaning. He stopped at Bulma's parent's door and peeked quietly inside. They were sleeping soundly, Mrs. Brief quietly and Mr. Brief snoring occasionally. He moved on. Nothing seemed out of place. Everything was just as they had left it before bed. Bulma's workroom was a mess of tools and bits of wire. The kitchen was a pile of dishes left over from their ample meals. The maid robots would clean whatever Bulma didn't bother with.

Feeling irked at his fruitless search, he finally stopped in Trunk's room. A large walk-in closet of clothes, toys on almost every surface, his half-breed son quietly curled up in his large bed. Vegeta stood over him for a moment. Other than having fallen asleep in his training clothes again, everything about the boy was just as it should be. Vegeta growled quietly with irritation and left, heading back up to Bulma and his room. He stopped at their door and growled some more. No, there was still something not right.

His temper further rising at his sleepless state, Vegeta headed out onto one of the mansion's many balconies, peering down at the grounds. The wind brushed against his spiky, black hair and at the cover on the swimming pool far down below. Vegeta paused, sniffing that breeze. Yes, that was it! Something didn't smell right. He leaned over the railing slightly, training his senses on the grounds far below. That was when he finally spotted two figures down in the darkness of their lawn.

"Hmph. Trespassers," he muttered, his brow tightening, "No wonder I couldn't sleep." He threw himself over the railing, silently floating down into the darkness below.

"Quit taking so long, will you?!" snapped the man through his ski mask, "We don't have all night!"

"I don't know what's with the lock on this thing!" yipped back the tiger under his black beanie. He pulled even harder back on the crowbar. "It's not budging an inch!"

"You must be doing it wrong – let me at it!" The man shoved his partner aside, braced his foot against the wall, and gritted his teeth as he pulled back on the crowbar with all his might. "Damn! Did you get the good crowbar?"

"Of course I got the good crowbar!" the tiger protested, offended. He thought for a moment. "Maybe I should go back to the hideout and get some explosives?"

"Really?" said a deep voice behind them, causing them both to freeze, "Now this is just sad."

They both spun around to face the figure in the darkness. "Oh no!" cried the tiger, pointing, "We've been spotted by some little naked guy!"

"What?" Vegeta's cheekbones turned slightly red. He looked down at himself and growled, clenching a fist. "No, I'm in my underwear, fool! That's entirely different from being naked!"

"Don't worry, I got this," said the man. He reached into his coat and whipped out a gun, aiming it with both hands. "Scram, guy! And forget what you saw! This ain't none of your business!"

"Unfortunately for you," Vegeta folded his arms, his blush fading, "You've made it my business. I can't seem to sleep with you around. And it's put me in a rather bad mood."

"Wait a minute!" cried the tiger, standing behind his companion, "Are you saying you're the guy that lives here?!"

"Well you just made a big mistake, buddy!" The man in the ski mask put the end of his gun against his forehead. "You're gonna take us inside and hand over any valuables you have or this is going to get real ugly, you got that, short stuff?!"

Vegeta smiled, the glint of his teeth making the two burglars freeze in shock as he laughed. "I should thank you." He reached up and gripped the pistol, crushing it.

"Waaaaa-aaaa-aaaaah!" both burglar screamed, eyes wide and hands in the air.

Vegeta let the gun casually drop. "I was going to just drive you off so I could sleep. But my mood's suddenly changed." His muscles rippled as his body tensed, bringing both fists up at his hips. "Huhuhuhuhahaha!" he laughed, "Prepare to die, fools!"

"AAAAAH!" they screamed, hugging each other.

(**Scene Break**)

"Hrrrmmm…" Bulma sighed, looking down at Vegeta's sleeping form under the sheets, "Seriously, he overslept?" She braced her fingers to her brow, shutting her eyes. "Well that's just great. Now I'm gonna have to deal with how grumpy he'll be when he wakes up." She sighed again, checking her hair in the mirror. "Gonna take a killer breakfast to make up for this one. Guess I better get started."

Soon the sausage was sizzling in the kitchen, several plates already stacked with layer after layer of French toast. Bulma had even made sure to put on that one apron she knew Vegeta liked. After all, a grumpy saiyan husband who had missed out on his morning training was nothing to take lightly. She turned the sausage links over in the pan, taking extra care to make sure each one was cooked just right.

"Mom!" Trunks cried, suddenly sticking his head in through the door, "Come check it out! There's totally a couple dead guys outside!"

"Whaaaaaat?!" Bulma lost her grip on the spatula, two links flying across the kitchen and nearly beaning Trunks right in the face – had he not ducked.

Trunks took her by the arm and lead her outside, pointing to the two sets of feet sticking out from under the bushes. Her face melted with horror, Bulma pushes aside the bushes and was instantly relieved. What she found wasn't a pair of corpses, but a tiger and a thuggish looking man with swollen faces and missing teeth.

"Huh," said Bulma, blinking twice, "I wonder how that happened to them?"

She sent Trunks inside to call an ambulance, which quickly came to pick the two men up. Bulma returned to cooking and Trunks to playing ball outside.

And Vegeta rolled over in bed, enjoying a very contented sleep.

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