Chapter 3: Don't Do This at Home, Kids!
Gintoki was riding his white
scooter with Shinpachi sitting on the passenger seat, while Kagura and Kyouko
were riding Sadaharu following him. Kagura wrapped her arms around Kyouko who
was in front of her to prevent the little girl from falling, while Kyouko
simply enjoyed her ride.
“Are you sure about this, Gin-san?” asked Shinpachi to Gintoki.
“Yeah, of course I am. If there is a woman that will be that girl’s mom and also my wife there is only one woman that fit that role”, answered Gintoki confidently.
When they arrived at their destination, The Yorozuya and Kyouko got down from their ride and stood in front of a big gate leading to a large estate. On the side of the gate, there was a wooden plank written, ‘Ketsuno’.
Shinpachi and Kagura’s faces were dead-panned as Shinpachi asked, “Gin-san, isn’t this….”
“ Exactly, pachi-boy. If there is a woman who would marry me and give birth to Kyouko here, she would be my all time idol, Ketsuno Ana! Hahahahaha…..“ said Gintoki laughing.
Before Gintoki knocked on the door, Shinpachi stopped him. “Wait a minute, Gin-san. Somehow this just doesn’t feel right. Why don’t we ask Kyouko-chan first?”
As Gintoki snorted, Shinpachi bent down towards the Kyouko, but before Shinpachi could have even asked anything, the little girl asked first, “Ne, papa… Why are we at Ana’s house? Is mama here?”
Gintoki let out a quick, “eh?” and thought, “Ana’s house? Not mama’s house?” and then he replied nervously, “O-o-of course she is, Kyouko…. You live in here with papa and mama right? Your mama is papa’s husband, right? Your mama is a weather woman, right? Yo mama is Ana right? Yo mama…” Gintoki’s lines ended up being stopped by Shinpachi who smacked Gintoki on the head.
“Cut it out, Gin-san! The way you talked just now was as if you were teaching Kyouko-chan that bad ‘yo mama’ joke! It’s obvious that Ketsuno Ana isn’t Kyouko-chan’s mother! I knew something is not right from the start!” yelled the straight man towards the silver haired man.
It was quite obvious that things would turn out this way, Gintoki settling down with Ketsuno Ana sounds too good to be true for Shinpachi, Kagura, the author of this fanfic, even Sorachi-sensei might agree as well.
Kagura kneeled down until her eyes on Kyouko’s eyes level and she said, “Sorry Kyouko-chan. It seems that idiot got lost. We’ll look for your mom at other place, okay?” and Kyouko nodded.
“Anyway, it’s starting to get dark. We should go back soon. Kyouko-chan, we’ll find mama tomorrow, okay?” said Shinpachi to the little girl.
Kyouko looked down for a moment, disappointed but then she muttered a small “Okay…” Gintoki could only let out a big sigh at this moment.
As they arrived back at The Yorozuya office, they met Otae and Kyuubei right in front of the building.
“Ah, there they are, Tae-chan”, said the one-eyed woman to the brunet girl as she spotted The Yorozuya trio.
“Ane-ue, Kyuubei-san!” said Shinpachi as he saw the two.
“Anego! Kyuu-chan!” squealed Kagura as she hugged Otae.
“Shin-chan, Kagura-chan, it’s been a while. And Gin-san too…” Then Otae noticed the little girl on Sadaharu’s back. “Oh my? What do we have here?” Otae tilted her head a little to have a better view on Kyouko, followed by Kyuubei.
“Shin-chan, who is that cute little girl on Sadaharu’s back?” Otae asked her little brother.
“Umm…. She is…. How do I say it…” Shinpachi averted his gazes left and right looking for right words.
Before Shinpachi could answer, Kyouko stepped down from Sadaharu and made her way to Otae and Kyuubei. Shinpachi and Gintoki were worried as Kyouko walked towards Otae and Kyuubei, knowing that there were chances that one of the two women might be the mother they were looking for.
As Kyouko stood in front of the two women, she starred their faces for a moment and then she tilted her head, “Tae? Kyuu?” she said innocently, finally recognising the women’s faces.
“Oh my?” as Otae and Kyuubei’s eyes widened, the expressions on their faces said something along like ‘how cute’ with their cheeks slightly blushing. “Have we ever met before?” asked Otae curiously as she bend down to look closer at Kyouko’s face.
“Well, I guess she knows them too in the future, alright…” thought Gintoki and Shinpachi while sighing in relieve at the same time.
In fact, Shinpachi was also a bit relieved knowing that his sister won’t be marrying his good for nothing leader.
“She is Gin-chan’s daughter, yes!” said Kagura out loud. Gintoki and Shinpachi’s expression were surprised at Kagura’s answer, and also worried how the women would react.
“Oh, I see… “ Kyuubey said in understanding. “No wonder she looked a lot like Gintoki”, then she smiled at Kyouko.
“Well, Gin-san? Have you taken responsibility to the mother yet?” asked Otae. She was smiling, but there was a dark aura around her scaring the Yorozuya men.
“It’s nothing like that…. She just popped out of nowhere and started calling me papa. What do you girls want anyway?” asked Gintoki while yawning.
“Oh yes, I was just done going out for shopping together with Kyuu-chan today and there are some left-over of our lunch when we found out that your place is around our position”, explained Otae as she lift up her bento-box. “If you don’t mind, I want to give you guys my home-made tamagoyaki for your dinner tonight. In fact, how about we eat it together with Kyouko-chan? A merry dinner might be good for children, right? Kyouko-chan, do you mind having dinner with us?” said Otae as she smiled cheerfully to Kyouko, and Kyouko said yes in the same way too.
The Yorozuya trio got alarmed as they heard ‘Otae’s tamagoyaki’. “What the hell with this woman? My daughter or not, I can’t bring myself to see a kid getting killed by her dark matter! It’s too cruel for kids her age! Besides, has she even ever tasted her own cooking? Why do women who are bad at cooking never taste their own hand-made food?” shouted Gintoki in his head.
Shinpachi and Kagura nodded at each other, and then Shinpachi said to Otae, “Hahaha, tha-thank you so much, ane-ue! But unfortunately Kyouko’s digestive system still can’t digest something dry and fried like tamagoyaki! She’s too young to eat them (or rather, she’s too young to die!). I’ll make something else for her to eat. Right, Kagura-chan?” said Shinpachi nervously and looked to Kagura.
“That’s right, anego! If you are worried about wasting your dark- I mean, tamagoyaki, we can just have Gin-chan to eat them. Right, Gin-chan?” replied Kagura turning on Gintoki.
Gintoki’s face got even paler as he sent his ‘telepathy’ to the other Yorozuya duo, “The f*ck are you guys doing!!? How could you do this to me!? If Gin-san ate those craps, Kyouko might become orphan! We haven’t found her mama yet. Gin-san is too young to die!” said Gintoki as he began his telepathic argument with Kagura and Shinpachi furiously.
“It’s okay, Gin-chan. All of us know that you are stronger than you thought about yourself. You are the MC in this fanfic, after all. The author won’t be cruel enough to let MC die before the fanfic ends, yes!”
“Yes, it’s true, Gin-san! Have more faith in yourself! If you can’t do that, then believe in us! Believe in us who believe in you!”
“Cut that Gu***n Lag*** shit! This is already on a different level!”
“Um…. Hello? You guys?” said Kyuubei a bit worried looking at the three who were staring at each other with fear on their faces.
“Oh, sorry, sorry. Anyway, let’s go inside first! It’s getting dark!” said Shinpachi inviting Otae and Kyuubei into Yorozuya.
As every body got in the second floor of the building, Shinpachi, with Otae and Kyuubei started to prepare the food while Kagura, Gintoki and Kyouko helped preparing the table. Finally, the dinner is ready on the table with Shinpachi’s average cooking on the table for others to eat while Otae’s ‘dark matter’ was set in front of Gintoki.
As the dinner started, Otae asked, “Well, let’s hear about Kyouko-chan, Shin-chan. It seems your situation is not as simple as Kagura said.”
Kyuubei also nodded in agreement staring at the Yorozuya trio. At first, the trio looked at each other for a while, after they agreed that there is no harm in letting them know they nodded in unison and started to explain about how they met Kyouko to their guests.
“I see. Then, have you guys found out about the mother?” asked Kyuubei to Yorozuya.
“Well, today Gin-chan just dragged us around the town claiming that his favourite weather girl is the mother. But in the end it was not true, yes” replied Kagura while she picked her nose.
Otae and Kyuubei gave Gintoki looks that said, ‘idiot’ as Gintoki only replied with, “What? It was a possibility.”
“Anyway, we are going to continue our search tomorrow. If Gengai-san has finished repairing the time machine before we found the mother, we’ll just have to end the search as it is”, conclude Shinpachi. “Now let’s just eat. The food is getting cold. We also have made Kyouko-chan wait long enough.”
Every one agreed and started digging in. While Kyouko was busy finishing her meal, the little girl saw Gintoki was laying his head on the table, had not finished with his dinner yet.
“Papa… What’s wrong?” Kyouko asked as she was moving Gintoki’s head until she started to pull Gintoki’s perm hair. “Tae, Pachi…. Papa is not waking up…” said Kyouko pointing at unconscious Gintoki.
Upon seeing this, Shinpachi and Kagura screamed in their heads, “Gin-san/chan is dead!” while Tae only said while chuckling.
“Oh my, oh my…. Seems Gin-san really stuffed with the eggs until he fell asleep on the table”, followed by Kyuubei’s chuckling as well.
Gintoki turned his head with all his power while barely staying awake, looking at the worried Kyouko. “I’m fine, it’s as they said, I’m just sleepy…..” said Gintoki with heavy, ragged voice.
As they finished their dinner, Gintoki and Kagura sent their female guests and Shinpachi off at the front door. “Well, we will take our leave now. By the way, is Kyouko-chan going to sleep here? I felt a bit worried knowing a little girl like her staying with this stupid man”, asked Otae before she headed off with Kyuubei and Shinpachi. “Oh, I know, she can sleep at my house with me and Shin-chan! We have spare rooms and extra futon after all…” Otae suggested as she clapped her hands.
“Well, Kyouko-chan? What do you think?” asked Shinpachi to Kyouko.
“No… Kyouko wants to sleep with papa…” said Kyouko immediately as she clinged on Gintoki’s yukata, pleading the man with glimmering eyes to let her spend a night with him. Gintoki was reluctant at first but finally he sighed and ended up could not refuse the girl.
“So cute….” Is what both Kyuubei and Otae thought when they saw the little girl’s expression.
“Well then, I guess it can’t be helped. Make sure that you take good care of her, Gin-san. We are leaving now. Kyouko-chan, see you later”, said Otae to Gintoki and she bent down to the little girl, smiling.
“Un! See you later Tae! Kyuu!” said Kyouko cheerfully with a smile.
The little girl kept waving at Otae, Kyuubei and Shinpachi until they were out of sight and the Yorozuya with Kyouko went inside the house.
That night, while everyone was sleeping, Gintoki who had to share the room with Kyouko, chose to stay awake a bit longer to think about the situation so far. He laid on his side, supporting his head with one of his hand, looking at the sleeping Kyouko.
“Daughter, huh…..” was what Gintoki thinking at that time. “What should I do about this in the end…?”
The next day, when Shinpachi came in the morning to do his usual chores, he found Gintoki was sleeping with Kyouko in his arms, the girl was burying her face in the man’s chest. Shinpachi only smiled as he thought, “I guess they really are a father and daughter…..”
In Yoshiwara, a lady with blonde hair clad in black kimono, was preparing herself to go somewhere. As she stepped towards the door, a woman on wheelchair called out to her, “Tsukuyo, where are you going?”
The blonde woman turned around and answered, “Ah Hinowa, I forgot that we haven’t paid ‘em on the other day. I’m just gonna go out to drop this on them quickly” said Tsukuyo showing an envelope.
Hinowa sighed and smiled to the woman, “You can take your time Tsukuyo. It’s not every time you can use your free time to see Gin-san” said the woman cheerfully.
“It… it’s nothing like that!” retort Tsukuyo with her faint blush on her cheeks as she walked off to the surface, heading towards Yorozuya.