Don't Say Goodbye
Yuki looked back at Zero and saw he was on verge of fainting on the ground as the bloody rose sucked the life out of him. "Zero! Are you okay?!" She ran over to his side.
Despite how much Kanade was worried about Zero, she was too preoccupied with her frustration towards Kaname to check on him before following Kaname the apple tree she often took refuge at. He stood underneath the tree and stared up at the branches in deep thought.
"So you find this place calming as well." She started. He glanced back and gave her that sad smile.
"Very much so."
"It reminds me of that tree we would always hang around so long ago." He lightly chuckled. There was a long silence. "…Kaname I--"
"Kanade... I know what you're thinking... but… since when do you break your promises?"
She could hear the pain in his voice as he talked and felt it swirl around her like a cloud, making her knees weak as she felt her heart start to drop. She walked over to him and stared up at the branches alongside him.
"I don't think I can just sit back idly and watch someone else have you. I'm... I'm too selfish... I'm sorry."
"You are not selfish... I am. I really do have feelings for Yuki," He looked over to meet her tear-glazed eyes, "but my love for you will never change, Kanade. Never in an eternity did I expect you to reincarnate as soon as I found someone to fill the holes in my heart that you left." He moved a piece of her hair out of her face and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. "How cruel of the universe to taunt me so."
"You do not need to hold onto me any longer." She grabbed his hand that was cupping her face and gently pushed it away. She started to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into him. He wrapped his arms firmly against her as he buried his face in her hair.
His voice then dropped to barely a whisper, "Don't leave me… not again." She had her hands rested on his chest. His heart was racing.
"Kaname..." She wrapped her arms around him. He lifted his head and pressed his lips against hers as she felt his despair flow through her.
'This is what I do to him.... I cause him so much pain.'
She pulled away so her lips were only millimeters away from his.
"I-I'll go get Yuki." She said before wiggling out of his grip and running off. He watched after her in confusion; 8,000 years and he still had trouble reading her at times.
She ran as fast as she could, desperately trying to get away from the temptation. She wanted to give into him, hold him, kiss him, and love him even if it meant that he was doing the same to another but.... she didn't want to cause him anymore pain. She wanted him to let her go like he almost had when she was dead and gone and he had found Yuki.
Why did I have to come back? Why now?
She jumped onto the roof without a thought to bring Yuki back, but she instantly regretted it when she found Zero and Yuki intertwined as they shared a kiss. Kanade quickly jumped off the roof to hide herself, hoping that neither of them noticed.
“I want to ask you one last thing…” Zero said. “Now that you regained your memories, are you rid of all your worries and fears?”
“…Yeah.” Yuki said.
“Me too.” Zero pushed Yuki away, his hands firmly holding her shoulders to keep her in place. “I’m fine, even if you are no longer next to me. Now all I have to worry about is her…” He let of her and went to pick up the bloody rose from the ground. “Go, Yuki. Go be next to the man who can spend eternity with you. But the next time we meet I will kill you Yuki."
"Well then in that case, I will keep running away from you Zero. So that you will have a reason to live, by still having enemies to go after." She said before running off.
"You can come out now." Zero said.
“Well? Are you going with him too?” He asked.
She held her head downcast, “I’m not sure… there’s something I need to check first.” He looked back at her in confusion. “You said that you have decided to kill all purebloods…”
"Even me?" He stiffened.
“What are you…?”
"My blood is the purest of them all. I am Lady Kanade Takanashi, pureblood and the second Heir to the queen of all vampires." He stared in surprise. He had always suspected that she was one, but he was always uncertain. This was an odd occurrence since as a hunter he should be able to tell by her simple presence if she was one, but she didn't look like a pureblood at all....
"No! No! You are not a pureblood! I would be able to sense it!" He screamed. He didn't want her to say such things. He didn't want to hear the only one he had left say she was also the thing he hated most.
"You did… but you didn't want to believe it, so you convinced yourself otherwise." He lifted his gun and aimed it at her.
"Stop! Or I will shoot!" He exclaimed, his anger overwhelming the both of them as he finally saw that she was one of them. She was the very thing he despised; the manipulative, controlling evil things that ruined his life.
“Zero… I’m sorry.”
There was a long moment of silence as the tension in the air grew heavier and Zero processed everything.
“Is the Kanade I know still in there? Will you turn back?"
"No..... I took Kaname's blood." She pointed to the empty vial hanging around her neck. "I will stay this way forever" He stared at the vial and she felt his anger build up as he gripped tighter onto the bloody rose. "Go ahead, kill me. Even if I could go back to being human no matter what you say I am just a second choice."
Kanade closed her eyes and waited for the gunshot, but instead she noticed that the cloud of emotion surrounding her had changed from anger to denial. She felt familiar strong arms wrap around her. She opened her eyes to see Zero holding her and she stiffened.
"You're lying. You have to be, you are not one of them." He mumbled into her shoulder.
"I am sorry, but I am not lying. I am a pureblood I always have been and I always will be…” She didn’t return his embrace, keeping her arms at her sides. “Yuki is so lucky, she's living the life I can never have." Kanade started to choke up and tears streamed down her face.
He pulled back and stared down at her, "I've never seen a vampire cry before." She still did not seem like any of the vampires he had ever met, she still seemed to so human.
"Well we do. We feel the same, and love the same, and it all hurts the same…Zero…" Her voice cracked a bit as she talked, her pain obvious. "I care about you… as more than just a friend… I do not wish to be your enemy as well." She took a deep breath and pushed back all his feelings erupting inside of her.
“If you really are one of them then… you’ll die too… at my hand.”
She nodded her head furiously and took a sharp breath, the heavy weight of rejection making it even harder to stand tall. “If that is the consequence… then I will atone.” She took a step back, turned away from him, and walked off without another word.
Kanade tried to hold herself back until she was far away enough from Zero so that he wouldn’t notice. Once she was in the courtyard she scanned the area to make sure no one was around and once she knew it was safe she let herself go. Her tears fell violently and she gripped onto her chest as she tried to breathe.
I don’t understand…
Why am I here?
Why did I have to be reincarnated?
Why did I have to come to Cross Academy?
She hovered her hand over one of the dhampire markings on her arm, hidden underneath her coat.
If I were just born a vampire then things would be okay…
If I were born a human would Kaname have just brushed off my existence?
Would Zero have accepted my feelings?
Now I have lost a dear friend…
As well as the love of my past life.
Kanade wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, pushed herself up from off the ground, took a deep breath, and she went on her way.
When she found Kaname on the roof of one of the buildings he was surrounded my members of the night class with Yuki clinging onto him from behind and Yagari holding him at gunpoint.
“It’s all your fault you—“
“Stop.” Kanade said when she suddenly appeared in front of him, blocking his view of Kaname. His eyes widened from surprise and he gripped onto his gun tighter.
“Move, dhampire!” He growled.
"Please do as he says, Kanade.” Kaname said. She turned back at him and narrowed her eyes. "I did it so that the precious future ahead wouldn't be destroyed and lost, as it would otherwise have been eaten away by the greedy hunger. I worked hard for this moment to come." Yuki hid her face in Kaname's chest. The hunter reluctantly lowered his gun. "Lets go Yuki, we can remain here no longer. Thank you everybody." Kaname started to walk away with her. He glanced back. "Are you coming Kanade?"
She paused for a moment.
"I know." She forced a smile. "But you don't need me." Yuki gazed at her sister, completely confused about the situation. "Although our fate together may be the same in a way, I gained something else… a family." She glanced over at Yuki. "Even though, I do not want to lose my new sister, I still have a loving new father to cherish. So lets make a new promise: this will not be the last time we see each other."
He stared at her as he waited or her to analyze the cloud of his emotions that hovered over her. He was disappointed and he felt as though he was being rejected rather than given a chance to start over. She held her head downcast as she closed her eyes tightly, trying not to focus too hard on his emotions.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered under her breath. He let out a sigh, nodded his head, and began to walk off with Yuki. But Yuki suddenly pulled away from him and tackled Kanade in a hug. Kanade’s eyes shot open and she took a sharp breath on impact, Yuki’s vibrant emotions invading her.
"Kanade, I don't want to leave you. Although I do not understand your past with Kaname, I can still see that he feels the same. Why won't you come with us? We will be your family!"
Kanade paused as she processed Yuki’s emotions as well as her own. Never before had she felt she'd been hugged this way, as if she was an important someone that they didn't ever want to let go. She wrapped her arms around her, leaned in close, and dropped her voice to barely a whisper so that only she could hear her.
"When Kaname and I knew each other in a different time my heart was as cold as ice. I didn’t understand basic things like trust or hope. But Kaname was different; he was so happy and good. He taught me many things and throughout all my troubles, Kaname's smile made me strong and kept me from falling into the darkness… but now Kaname has been falling into that darkness, for a long time now and only you can pull him out. Having me around will only make him fall deeper. I am but an echo of the past, and you are the now." Kanade pulled away from her, but kept her hands rested on her shoulders. "Don't drag the past along with you." She forced a smile, trying to hold back her tears.
Yuki stared at her in bewilderment. She consumed her words and took them to heart. She nodded and walked back to Kaname's side.
"Goodbye, Kanade." Kaname said.
"Goodbye, Lord Kaname."