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Widow's Hill Notes to Dark Shadows

By Graeme Cree

Horror / Humor

Episode 10

EPISODE 10: Carolyn visits Burke's hotel room to try to find out what happened between Burke and Roger, or, failing that, to get a date.

David tries to sneak into Collinwood, but is intercepted by Liz, who wants to talk to him about the teacup he broke when he knocked on the door and ran away in Episode 9. David doesn't think it's fair that even though the teacup is broken, he's still in hot water. Liz congratulates him on at least minimizing his blast radius this time.

At the Collinsport Inn, we get our first look at Burke's swinging Bachelor Pad. Carolyn comes up and makes her first ever visit to a man's hotel room. (NOT!) She introduces herself as Carolyn Stoddard. Burke is surprised that anyone from Collinwood would be coming to visit him, and asks if she's strapped to any hidden bombs or anything. Carolyn says no, but he can frisk her anyway, if he wants.

Carolyn says she's there because every time Burke Devlin's name is mentioned, it sounds like there might be some big trouble coming, and if there is, she wants to be in the middle of it. Mainly, she wants to know if Burke hates her Uncle Roger, and is planning some kind of diabolical revenge against him for whatever he did. Burke insists that Roger has no reason to fear him. Burke cares about the future, not the past. Besides, he hasn't studied the Story Bible well enough yet to even know what happened 10 years ago. (The rest of us were wondering about that too).

Burke tells Carolyn he'd be glad to discuss it further with her and offers her a drink. When he goes off to the kitchen, to pour, Carolyn naturally takes the opportunity to snoop through his room. Burke comes back with a glass of Ginger Ale. He can't offer her anything stronger, unless she wants to admit to being over 21. Carolyn says forget it, she's getting an early start on lying about her age. By the way, she couldn't help accidentally steaming some of Burke's mail open while he was in the kitchen, and found a letter saying he was leaving town in a few days. For the sake of the show, Carolyn hopes it's not true. "A Stranger Comes to Town, Touches Nobody's Life, Then Leaves." What kind of a story is that??

At Collinwood, David is playing with a Horikawa Toy Robot, and discovers that the laser only sets to stun!! What a gyp!! David hides as Roger and Liz come in. Roger asks if Liz has seen his copy of Tom Swift Senior And His Electric Blanket, as he was thinking of rediscovering some of his boyhood favorites over a drink tonight.

By the way, that new governess Liz hired. She was seen having coffee with Burke Devlin today. Liz asks what else they could have drunk. There's been a big brandy shortage ever since Roger came back to town. Roger also says he asked Vicki why she took the train to Collinsport instead of flying, and she actually said it was because Collinsport had no airport. Have you ever heard such a phony story? Liz says uh, actually it's true. Collinsport doesn't have an airport. Except a small one for private planes. Obviously, Vicki couldn't hire one of those. The real question is why Burke didn't fly in. He could afford a fleet of private planes. Either he had some sinister reason for taking the train... or it's just bad writing.

At this point, the robot does what Roger has always wanted to do: gives David away. Roger grabs David and accuse him of spying on their conversation! David should be sent to Military School, like he's always said! David says Roger wants to send him away because of Burke Devlin! He used to hear Roger and his mother arguing about Burke all the time! Well, David hopes that Burke gets whatever revenge he wants! Roger says that he hopes Burke's revenge has something to do with his firstborn.

Roger threatens to give David a good spanking. Liz steps in at this point, and reminds Roger that the only reason he's living at Collinwood at all is because of David. If David goes away to Military School, Roger better consider joining the Foreign Legion himself. And nobody is getting a spanking, does she make herself clear? David points out that Carolyn is hoping to get one from Burke Devlin.

Back in Burke's room, the phone rings. Burke answers it, then hangs up and pretends to take a call from his business manager. What's that? He's needed in South America right away? No time to screw Roger Collins over, even if he'd been thinking of doing it? Oh well, if he can't, he can't. Goodbye.

Carolyn thinks all of this seems just a bit too pat, and says so. Burke suggests that maybe he planted the letter and faked the phone call just to throw Carolyn off the scent. This completely erases her doubts. Carolyn reasons that if Burke were plotting such skullduggery, he would never call attention to it that way. However, unbeknownst to Carolyn, Burke is planning exactly such skullduggery, and called attention to it knowing that if he did, that she would reason that he would never call attention to it, and so believe that he wasn't doing it. (Is anybody following this?)

Back at Collinwood, Liz is dreaming, and talking in her sleep about how there are no ghosts. No ghosts. She's right, we haven't seen a one. Isn't this show supposed to be loaded with them?

Liz wakes to a knocking at her chamber door. No, it's not The Raven. It turns out to be Carolyn and Burke Devlin! As Liz stands there speechless, Carolyn asks isn't she going to congratulate the new Carolyn Devlin? Liz keels over, before Carolyn has a chance to say April Fool.

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