EPISODE 15: After Burke asks Roger to meet him later at the Blue Whale, Roger loses control of his car and crashes.At Collinwood, Roger is looking for his car keys, but no amount of scary incidental music is able to make this moment seem tense.
David enters, wanting to argue about whether Roger is going to have him sent away. Roger says he doesn't care about that now, he just wants his keys. David says he can't have the keys, they've got to settle this first. Roger says okay, he'll stay here and spend some "quality time" with David instead. David helps look for the keys.
Vicki enters with some good news for Roger. She thinks she's starting to build a rapport with David! Only today he invited her to help him put one over on "his old man", whoever that is. Roger bluntly tells Vicki that unless he explicitly says he'll kill you last, then you haven't built a rapport with David. Vicki offers to help Roger look for his keys. Roger again tells Vicki to go back to New York, but she feels sure they aren't there.
Oh, by the way, says Vicki. She saw Burke in the garage earlier, looking at Roger's car. Roger says it probably doesn't mean anything. After all, you know how padded these shows are.
Roger heads out for his meeting with Burke at the Blue Whale. Liz warns Roger to be careful. A man like Burke isn't the kind to just forgive and forget five years in prison. Five years of making license plates. Five years without sex. (Of course, it would be even worse if he HAD had sex. Liz tries to talk Roger out of going, but Roger explains he's got to go, and it's a Lincoln/Ford's Theater kind of thing.
Upstairs, David and Vicki are still talking. David tells Vicki he hates Roger and hopes he dies. One scene later, Vicki asks if he really meant it. Yep, he did. (There's your padding). Vicki tells David he should try to think pleasant thoughts. (David says he is!) Vicki tries to find out why David hates Roger so much. David says it's because Roger hates him. Roger MUST hate David, because he's not a nice kid. (That reasoning seems sound enough).
Another reason David hates Roger is because he's convinced that Roger wants to send him away from Collinwood. Roger never liked David, and never spent any time with him. When they lived in Augusta, David's mother, Laura Collins, had to take David to Father/Son night in drag, because Roger was busy watching a Flintstones marathon that night. To add insult to injury, they were only showing Great Gazoo episodes.
Vicki tries to come up with a Foundling Home Story to resolve the situation. She tells a story about a girl who thought that everyone hated her. So, whenever anyone tried to get closer to her, she pushed them away, never realizing that the person who really hated her was herself! Unfortunately, the girl in Vicki's story solved her problem by sharing her Barbies and helping the other girls with their makeup, which isn't really very useful for David.
David has his own advice for the girl in that story. David says that if people didn't like her, then that girl should have just put all her enemies up against the wall and shot them. Vicki says maybe that will really happen some day... if Sam Peckinpah ever directs a Dark Shadows movie.
Downstairs, Roger still hasn't left. His keys got lost again when they fell into a parallel dimension, but Roger was able to retrieve them with a coat hanger. Liz again tries to talk Roger out of meeting Burke at the Blue Whale, but Roger goes all John Wayne on her and says a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Liz wonders what on earth this saying could have to do with Roger.
On the way out, David meets Roger into the Foyer, and tells him goodbye in a very odd way, with the accent on the "goodbye". Usually when Roger goes out in his car, David asks him to bring something back for him, like a comic book, or a candy bar, or even an extra case of cherry bombs. This time it's just 'goodbye'. Where's Dr. Spock when you need him?
After Roger leaves, Vicki comes down to talk to Liz about David and Roger. Roger isn't... well, he isn't exactly fond of his son, is he? Liz is so ashamed! Even Little Miss Clueless sees it! Liz tries to do damage control. You see, Love has many ways of expressing himself. Sometimes it comes in the form of extra attention, sometimes it comes in the form of aloofness. Sometimes it's pampering, sometimes tough Love, et cetera. Vicki thinks that Roger almost seems to hate his son. Liz says yes, that's his way of expressing it.
Roger goes out to his car. As he does, David watches from his bedroom window, staring into space, and talking to his mother (who isn't there, incidentally) about how Roger is going to die! Actually, nobody is there, but the cameraman seems pretty spooked out by the whole thing.
Roger starts his car, and begins driving down the long winding hill outside Collinwood, but before he gets halfway down, he runs off the road. His last thought before the crash is how ironic it is that something like this should happen the one time he got behind the wheel sober.