Widow's Hill Notes to Dark Shadows

By Graeme Cree

Horror / Humor

Episode 24

EPISODE 24: Constable Carter interrogates Burke, who tries to downplay all his "Come back to Collinsport and Kill Roger" talk from 10 years ago.

Constable Carter walks into the Coffee Shoppe, and orders "the usual". Maggie says sorry, from now on, the mayor needs to sign off on all doughnut orders over six figures. Carter asks if Burke Devlin has been in today. Maggie says yeah, he came by and ordered the Coffee Shoppe's Special of the Day. Carter goes to look for Burke in the Emergency Ward.

It's Allowance Day, and Carolyn enters the Coffee Shoppe with the entire inventory of Macy's under her arms. Carolyn says she saw Constable Carter in earlier, and wonders if he came to grill Maggie's food. If Carolyn had a day job, Maggie would tell her not to quit it.

Maggie adds that as long as she got rid of her ugly blonde wig, Carolyn should too. An argument ensues when Carolyn insists that it's her real hair. Carolyn orders two pies. Maggie sassily asks if Carolyn is "eating for two", only to find out too late that the second one is for use on smart-alec waitresses.

Carter catches Burke in the hotel lobby and asks to talk to him. Burke says sure, he just wants to grab some lunch and coffee first. From the way we saw Burke blow through coffee in Episode 22, the Statute of Limitations on the accident will have expired before the Constable ever gets to talk to him.

Back in the Coffee Shoppe, Joe is telling Carolyn that his plans to buy his own boat have been pushed forward. He's found a good one for sale that he likes, although it will need a few extras. Sails, motor, hull, et cetera. Carolyn wants to know since when the hull of a boat is considered an extra, but Joe tells her that women just don't understand fixer-uppers.

Carolyn wants to know why things are moving so fast. She thought Joe wouldn't be able to afford a boat for another year. Joe explains that he's arranged to go halfsies with an offscreen character named Jerry Gerst. Carolyn hopes Jerry's money isn't offscreen too.

Burke comes in for that lunch and coffee, and tries to muscle in on Carolyn again when he sees her and Joe together. Burke kicks sand in Joe's face (impressive, considering that they're indoors). After Burke leaves, Joe swears that one of these days... one of these days! POW! Right in the kisser. Jackie Gleason sues for copyright infringement.

Up in Burke's room, the Constable beats around the bush a bit. He remembers a guy who went to prison for manslaughter 10 years ago. And he remembers that this guy promised to come back and get even. And then Roger had an accident the other night. Burke doesn't deny any of it, but then Carter hasn't actually accused him of anything yet.

Carter tries to re-word his speech in the form of an accusation. Burke was that guy who went to jail. And Carter remembers the speech Burke made after the conviction. "I'll get you for this, Collins, no matter what I do! You'll be sorry you ever took that witness stand, et cetera, et cetera." Admittedly, the 'et ceteras' took a little of the edge off, but Burke still sounded pretty serious.

Burke admits to blowing his stack 10 years ago. But he insists that he doesn't want to kill Roger. And if he did, he'd rather do it with his bare hands, so he could enjoy it, rather than sabotage his brakes. If he wanted to, which he doesn't. Burke tells Carter that he was only at Collinwood at all because Carolyn invited him. And he was only in the garage to look at Roger's car because he was thinking of buying one like it... Okay, of foreclosing the mortgage on Roger's if it wasn't paid up, but same difference.

Carter asks how Burke explains the monkey wrench. Burke says that it's a tool used for tightening and loosening bolts. Or monkeys, or something. As for why he had it at all, Burke says that it was lying there on the front seat of the car. Naturally he picked it up, as he was thinking of buying a wrench too. But he didn't tamper with the brakes. If he had, wouldn't he have tried to call the whole thing off after Vicki saw him? Or at least, get rid of Vicki? Or tried to frighten her into silence by putting a horse's head in her bed or something? Carter says that from what he's seen of Vicki, Burke might have thought it would hurt Roger more to leave her in his hair.

Carter wants to know what Burke DID come back to town for, if not revenge. Burke admits that he does want revenge, but not that kind. His revenge is simply to be Burke Devlin. To let Roger see him rich, powerful, and still with a full head of hair, while Roger himself is a spineless lackey who frittered away his inheritance and lives at the pleasure of his more important older sister. Now, THAT'S revenge. Okay, maybe Burke has some plans for a corporate takeover of Collins Enterprises too, but that's stuff for a Grand Jury, not some small town cop.

Down in the Coffee Shoppe, Maggie tells Carolyn that Burke Devlin wants to see her in his hotel room. Carolyn rushes right up... as soon as she regains consciousness.

Carolyn rushes upstairs and sees Constable Carter with Burke. She says you really need a Justice of the Peace for this kind of thing, not a lawman. It turns out that it's not what Carolyn was imagining. Burke just wants Carolyn to confirm that Burke was at Collinwood the night of the accident at Carolyn's invitation. Carolyn admits that's true. She'd invited Burke to Collinwood, hoping he'd run out of gas on the way back, and... well, that part isn't important.

Satisfied for the moment, Carter tells Burke not to leave town. Burke says he's got a trip to Bangor that he's got to make. Carter says okay, as long as part of the trip is onscreen. Carter leaves, and Carolyn points out that she covered for Burke just now... Okay, she actually told the truth, but she WOULD have lied for him if she'd had to, and that should count for something. Unfortunately, on television, she's not allowed to tell him what it should count for.

When Carolyn leaves, Burke calls the mysterious Bronson and tells him to meet him in Bangor in an hour and a half. Bronson says no fair, they've already used his arrival as a cliffhanger in Episode 21. With all this buildup, "Bronson" had better be Charles.


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