Widow's Hill Notes to Dark Shadows

By Graeme Cree

Horror / Humor

Episode 25

EPISODE 25: On a routine snooping mission, Vicki finds the missing bleeder valve in David's room.

Vicki's opening narration informs us that the plot has been so darned interesting the last few episodes (Good thing she told us) that it nearly made her forget her own back story. The one about trying to find out who her real parents are because she grew up in a Foundling Home, and... I'm getting sleepy just thinking about it.

Meanwhile, David has snuck into Vicki's room to read her letter. You know, the one that Miss Hopewell mailed in Episode 6, that didn't arrive until Episode 21, even though it was sent First Class. A minute later, Roger comes in to read it too. And when a home is so dull that you've actually got people standing in line to read mail from the Foundling Home, you know it's time to invest in a TV set or a Nintendo or something.

Roger gets annoyed and pretends to have caught David in the act. Heavens no, Roger himself wasn't planning to read Vicki's letter! He was in Vicki's room for a completely different reason! To sniff her underwear drawer... or something.

Roger tells David that reading other people's words without their permission is the same as stealing. David says he thought that was only if you tried to upload the stuff on the internet afterwards. Roger says no, it's theft of intellectual property, like software piracy, only worse. David reminds Roger that he sang a completely different tune when he rented and copied all seven Francis, the Talking Mule movies from Blockbuster last month.

David claims to be interested in the letter because he thought it might involve him. After all, it came from a Foundling Home, and Roger has always talked about sending David away. David was afraid that maybe the family had made a deal with the Foundling Home. Vicki for David, or something like that. Roger scoffs at the idea, but you can tell he's also intrigued by it.

Roger asks David to promise never to read other people's mail again. David asks what the point would be of making a promise that Roger wouldn't believe anyway. Roger doesn't remember the last time he agreed with David. Since the script itself contains other people's words, David runs off with Roger's copy, leaving Roger speechless.

Downstairs, Liz and Vicki are discussing whether David has been acting strangely since Roger's auto accident. Vicki agrees that he has, but says that for David, "strange" is normal. Unless Liz means that David has been acting strange by acting normal, which is strange for him. Since Vicki appeared on national TV, aspirin sales have doubled.

Later, David is up in his room reading Mechano again. A close-up shows us that the cover story is entitled "How to Remove a Bleeder Valve". Vicki comes in for another lesson on the history of Maine, but when she sees the magazine, she switches from History to Math, and starts to put 2 and 2 together.

Vicki drops hints that David might know something about the valve incident, if not be in up it to his neck. David says Vicki is just against him and is conspiring to have him take her place at the Foundling Home. Vicki points out that the Foundling Home is only for people without parents, and that David couldn't be sent there unless Roger died. David says that's not fair that the best moment in his life would also be the worst.

Downstairs, Liz asks Roger if he remembers that Wilbur Strake guy who hung around town last month asking about real estate prices. Turns out he was actually a Private Eyeball, working for Burke. Roger remembers him, all right. That guy in the fedora who went around calling everyone "shweetheart". It would almost have been a disappointment if that guy wasn't a spy.

So, did old "Sheerluck Holmes" find out anything about Vicki's past? Liz says no, and she doesn't want the Police investigation getting sidetracked on that question. So, if the matter comes up, Roger should just tell the Constable the truth. Roger asks what the truth is, so Liz informs Roger that he himself recommended Vicki to Liz, on the advice of a friend of his at the Foundling Home. Roger doesn't remember doing this until Liz makes clear that he'll be leaving both Collinwood and his job at the cannery if he doesn't play along. Suddenly, it all comes flooding back. Roger asks if he can at least say that it was on the advice of an EX-friend at the Foundling Home, but Liz won't even give him that.

Upstairs, Vicki and David are arguing about what was the first English settlement in the New World. David, who knows the Collins version of history, thinks it was Collinsport. Vicki, who knows the New England version of history, thinks it was Plymouth. Neither one of them seems to have heard of Jamestown. As usual, the lesson stops almost the moment the camera is on them and the discussion becomes plot-related. Roger enters to tell Vicki about how he recommended her to Liz for the governess job. Vicki is surprised to hear this (Roger says not half as surprised as he was!).

Vicki questions this. According to Mrs. Hopewell, nobody at the Home recommended her, nor would they have in a million years. Roger thinks for a moment and says that his friend wasn't an employee of the home, she was one of their patrons. That's it! A patron who told Roger that Vicki was the greatest, smartest, kindest, wisest, bestest governess in the whole of foreverness! Vicki says she'd like to talk to that woman, but Roger says she was institutionalized shortly after giving this recommendation.

The Constable calls with an update (no news). Roger demands that the Constable arrest Burke. Carter says he can't. He's got no evidence, so Burke might sue him for false arrest. Roger says that's a chance he's willing to take.

Vicki goes back to her room and finds her letter missing again. She goes to David's room to search for it. She doesn't find a letter, but she finds some kind of "bleeder valve" or something in one of David's drawers. Vicki thinks that's great! They could use this to fix the brakes on Roger's car! If he still had a car, that is.


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