Widow's Hill Notes to Dark Shadows

By Graeme Cree

Horror / Humor

Episode 30

EPISODE 30: Vicki tells Roger that David, not Burke was responsible for his car crash. Roger is upset, though hardly surprised.

It's storming, which is not unusual, considering that it storms 300 days a year at Collinwood. Vicki is trying to keep the house dry, so she closes all her windows and reboots. As she does, the drawing room doors close all by themselves!! More pragmatic than spooked, Vicki wishes the ghosts had made themselves useful and helped her close the windows while they were at it.

The lights suddenly go out, and a shadowy figure that looks a lot like the Grim Reaper appears in the doorway. Vicki grabs a candlestick to defend herself, then wonders whether it's even possible to whack Death over the head. As the opening credits roll, Vicki is afraid, not only of being killed, but of looking foolish in the process!

When we come back from commercial, the shadowy figure is gone (so many of these cliffhanger scenes are overturned on Instant Replay).

A few minutes later, the lights come back on and Roger enters the Drawing Room. Vicki tells him about the shadowy figure, but Roger says it was probably Roger himself on his way down to put a penny in the fusebox. Vicki asks Roger if he'd been 6 feet tall, wearing a black cloak, and carrying a sickle when he went down to the basement. Roger admits that he wasn't, but thinks there must be some rational explanation for what Vicki saw. Like, maybe she's going nuts. Vicki says she was hoping to find a different... but equally rational explanation.

Roger has a brandy to help cure Vicki's fright (he's very empathetic that way). Vicki asks Roger if he's worried about David. Roger says he's been worried about David for 10 years, and David is only 9. Vicki tells Roger about finding the bleeder valve in David's room. Roger doesn't believe it, because... well actually, there's no particular reason why it couldn't be true. Roger wants to know where David is right now. When he hears that David went to see Burke, he's happy, since there's a good chance one of them might kill the other.

No chance of that, though. At the Inn, Burke and David are chummier than ever. David mentions that he's never had a dog, Burke offers to buy him one. According to Burke, every kid should have a mutt to look up to him, sniff his leg, and eat his liver for him when his parents aren't watching. David decides that Burke is okay after all, and tries to retrieve the bleeder valve, but can't find it. Burke offers to buy Lassie, and get David his own show. David looks even harder for the valve.

Later in the car, Burke is driving David home. Burke is talking about the days when he was a Devil Tot. In those days, kids didn't have any fancy cherry bombs or whoopee cushions. According to Burke, he had to prank 20 miles to school every day.

David wants to go back and look for something he left in Burke's room, but won't say what it is. Burke tells David not to be afraid of getting in trouble. When you run away from home, they rant, they rave, they send you to bed without supper, but by next week it will be forgotten. David says that's probably true, especially considering some of the pranks he has planned for next week.

At Collinwood, Vicki is explaining the whole story to Roger. She shows him David's copy of Mechano Magazine, and its cover story on how to remove a bleeder valve. Roger is convinced, and waxes philosophical about how we never know what monsters we create. Vicki says you do if you read the story on page 40: "How to Create a Killer Robot in Your Basement".

Burke returns with David to Collinwood. Roger chews him out for breaking into Burke's room, but Burke covers for him. David didn't try to break into his room. Burke found David walking by the roadside... on the WAY to the Inn to try to break into his room, but not quite there yet. Roger wants to take David off to the woodshed, but they haven't got a woodshed set, and it seems silly to build one just for this one scene.

Roger tries to sort things out. David, into the Drawing Room! Vicki, stay out here! Burke, stay out here and talk to Vicki. And when the music stops, everybody change places.

Roger drags David into the Drawing Room to have it out with him. David demands to see Liz or Vicki, or somebody that he can bamboozle easier. Roger tells him that there's no help for a boy who tries to kill his own father. David says "You think you've got it bad? I was almost an orphan!"

Roger goes looking for the valve, and has David empty his pockets. David pulls out a revolver, bag of cherry bombs, phial of itching powder, a live skunk, and a set of through-the-keyhole snapshots of Carolyn in the shower, but nothing suspicious.

Out in the Foyer, Burke is admiring the architecture, the Foyer clock, the portraits on the wall, and Vicki's body (but he doesn't mention that last one out loud). Vicki tells how the Foyer Clock was given by Barnabas Collins to Josette back in 1795, but as the story contains some major spoilers, we won't repeat it here.

Roger drags David out and demands to speak to Vicki next. In the middle of all this, Burke produces the bleeder valve from his pocket and holds it up high. Fortunately, he does this just as the episode ends, which gives the paramedics 24 hours to do CPR on Roger, David and Vicki.


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