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Widow's Hill Notes to Dark Shadows

By Graeme Cree

Horror / Humor

Episode 32

EPISODE 32: Liz isn't buying David’s story either, but to keep David out of Reform School, she tells the Constable that the bleeder valve fell off by itself.

Liz comes downstairs and asks if that was Burke that she heard chopping out Chopsticks a few minutes ago. Roger asks how she could have heard it when she wasn't even in the last episode. Easy, it was so loud that she heard it in the Green Room. Roger says that, in Black and White, he didn't know they even had a Green Room.

Liz says that she tried to get Matthew to go look for David, but now he's missing too. Roger tells Liz that David has returned and is now where every criminal belongs. Liz questions whether every criminal ought to be locked in his bedroom, but Roger explains that he only meant that every criminal should be locked somewhere, and that she's making his analogy out to be much tighter than it actually was.

And Roger wants to know why Liz didn't mention that the valve was found in David's room. Liz says that the answer is one of three things, and she hasn't decided which yet. Either a) she didn't know whether David took it or whether Vicki did. Or b) she didn't know that it was a bleeder valve. Or c) she didn't know it was Roger's bleeder valve. Roger points out that it says "Ford Mustang Bleeder Valve" on one side, and has his monogram on the other side, so Liz decides that the answer must be a).

At Police Squad, Malloy is asking why Carter hasn't arrested Burke yet. Carter says he just want to get some more information on a few other people first. Particularly about David Collins. Malloy wants to know why David Collins? Why, he hasn't even done anything wrong lately. Carter says that's exactly what's so suspicious.

Back at Collinwood, Liz and Roger are doing Damage Control. Roger wants to know how many people know what David did, and if there's enough money in the Bribe Fund to cover them all. Liz says that the Fund is very low after a certain incident last month (and telling Roger what it was would defeat the whole purpose of the bribes).

Roger says that David is a little monster, and wants him sent away, and Liz wonders how he can talk that way about his own son. Roger suggests that maybe David isn't his son. After all, Laura was Burke's girl first. And David was born 8 months after Burke went to jail. When you add to that the fact that this is a soap opera, then who knows who David's father really is? Liz argues that Burke was in jail for 2 months before the trial, so David's father must be Roger. Roger says not so. After all, the guards once caught Laura trying to smuggle in a cake with a file in it. Maybe they caught her trying to smuggle a cake with a condom in it too!

Back at Police Squad, Malloy admits that yeah, maybe he did, once or twice, hear David say something about wishing his father was dead. But he did say he hoped he died in his sleep, which proves his heart is in the right place. Carter says that with a kid like that, Roger is lucky his heart is still in the right place.

Carter then shows Malloy the fingerprint results. They show Burke's fingerprints on the wrench, which doesn't really prove anything, because they already know that Burke handled it. They also show David's fingerprints, which doesn't really prove anything, because they know David handled it too. But more significantly, they show Burke's fingerprints on top of David's, which shows that David handled the wrench BEFORE Burke handled it. But that doesn't really prove anything either, because the wrench came from the Collinwood garage, and David might have handled it innocently at any time. Malloy says that when they go to trial, this evidence should be labeled "Exhibit Z".

At Collinwood, Roger still insists that David be sent away to a special school that can handle kids like him. Liz says she doesn't want David sent to some Marine Boot Camp, where they'll only teach him to be even more vicious. Roger says "teach" nothing, he wanted to send David there as an instructor. Besides, what happens if David tries to kill Roger again, and succeeds this time? Liz says that in that case, she'd simply have Matthew hide the body, and tell everyone that Roger had left town. "Oh, good. Glad I checked."

Constable Carter arrives, to tell Roger and Liz that he's figured out what really happened, but Liz interrupts to say she's figured it out herself. After checking with Matthew, Liz learned that the bleeder valve had been loose for some time, and must have just fallen off by itself. Carter wants to know why Matthew didn't tighten it himself. All it takes is one twist with a wrench. Liz says that Matthew isn't very good with wrenches. They require opposable thumbs, for one thing.

In light of this, Liz thinks the investigation should be dropped immediately. Carter admits that his own solution was very different from theirs, and offers to go tell the newspapers about it (just to show everyone how wrong he was, you understand). Carter agrees not to do this, after Liz buys 200 tickets to the Policeman's Ball (just to make him feel better about being so wrong, you understand!).

As Carter leaves, Liz consoles Roger by saying that it's not a total loss. They did get the bleeder valve back, so maybe they can build a new car around that.


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