Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
florence.elise would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Ugly Naked Guy's Transformation

By florence.elise

Humor

Meet the Stalkers

There was a man named Michael who had just moved to New York City.  His first few months in the city had been fine, and nothing was unusual. That soon changed.  One day after he walked into his living room, he noticed something alarming when he looked through his window.  He saw a group of people crowded around a window in an apartment looking at him, grimacing at him, and scrutinizing him.  He brushed it off of his shoulder, expecting it to be a one-time thing. However, it kept happening. The same people would always stare at him, and Michael realized something, he had stalkers.  There were six of them, and they seemed to be best friends.  One of the women in the group of stalkers happened to work at Michael’s favorite coffee shop, Central Perk. The other five were constantly hanging out there, as if they did not even have jobs of their own. Michael always knew where to find them, on the couches, never letting anyone else sit in their spots. He always had to sit in the back of the coffee shop because of it, appearing as though he was just pretending to make conversation in order to make the six friends appear more important.  The friends’ conversations were very interesting, so Michael would listen in on them, and he found out a lot about his stalkers because of it.  The waitress was constantly on-again, off-again with another member of the group, who was a paleontologist with three divorces.  He was quite competitive when it came to being right, and he was always trying to prove that “WE WERE ON A BREAK!”  Michael never understood what that meant.  Next, there was a woman who sang songs about cats that smelled.  Another had been on a soap opera, but he was killed in the show by an elevator shaft. He was as dumb as a sack of rocks. There was also a very sarcastic man who put too much emphasis on the word “be.”  Lastly, there was the culinary expert, the divorce guy’s sister, who was a clean freak.  She too was extremely competitive; like brother, like sister.

One of Michael’s most horrifying days was caused by his stalkers.  He had just finished jumping on his gravity boots and was pretty exhausted.  After that he decided to take a nap, which turned into a rather long nap.  To his dismay, he woke to something poking him repeatedly.  He had no idea what it could be. When he finally opened his eyes, he saw a large stick made from a bunch of chopsticks that was going from the balcony of his stalkers’ apartment, through his window, and touching him!  When he turned to see who all was doing it, he saw this magnificent thing. Suddenly, the poking did not bother him anymore. Standing in his gaze was the blonde girl who sang all of the strange songs. He had never realized how beautiful she was, and he knew from the second he saw her there that he was in love.  There was one problem. He had never been very good with the ladies. He was  quite large; he was almost as big as a mobile home. He walked around his home nude, which the ladies did not like so much. He felt like the only way she would notice him was if he slimmed down and wore clothes. So, he joined Weight Watchers and went clothes shopping to win her over.

Two months had gone by and Michael was thin and clothed. He decided to go to Central Perk in hopes that the woman of his dreams would be there. He walked up to the door leading to the coffee shop, took a deep breath, and walked in. Unfortunately, she was not there.  A few minutes later, one of his stalkers walked in.  It was one of his stalkers, the one that had been a soap opera star.

He looked around and said, “Mike!”

Hearing the other name Michael went by, he said, “Yeah?”

The old soap opera star walked up to him and said his name was Joey and that he needed Michael’s help. Joey asked Michael to agree to go on a blind date with a woman named Phoebe. However, there was an issue with Joey’s request. Michael was still in love with the woman on the balcony, and he did not want to go on a date with anyone else.

So he tells Joey, “I’m sorry, but I am in love with someone and I do not want to jeopardize anything with her.”

Then, he walked out of Central Perk, onto the street, and when he turned, he saw a truck coming toward him at full speed. Everything went black.
Continue Reading Next Chapter
Chapters
1. Meet the Stalkers
Further Recommendations

Tavis Ryan King: "What Happened to Charlie Carmine" is a fabulous mo-gee-toe cocktail fuelled midget orgy of psychology, fantasy and sarcasm. I laughed out loud when reading this novel so many times it made the London commuters I shared space with look at me with curious disdain - and I did not care.The protagoni...

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

M.Jones: Its rare i come across stories with women relationships and its rather realistic, but at the same time its as a fantasy in terms of a shinning knight and a princess type style. The only thing was I was having some issues at parts with keeping track of who was saying what and who was talking at ti...

gilbertgg: Not a bad book, but the editing needs to be stepped up a bit. The plot seems to work and kept me entertained, though.

shemotshalom: I never ever read books,I had a little bit of trouble with it in the beginning,I ship Matt and grace but I liked her better with Cole and I would love to see how that would turn out!I still love this book there could've been more drama and I think the tittle could've tricked anyone thinking that ...

Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Dhira Vidhea, author of Boy Who Broke In My Window, an otherwise engaging tale of love and acceptance of the quirkiest of individuals, whose overall conception of the plot is spot-on and whose writing style is impeccable and as for her writing skills they are the best I've ever seen, tho...

Taryn Odoms: this is a vey good book so far i came from wattpad and I'm thankful that you showed me this site.the thing says my reveiw is to short but I don't know what else to write but that this book is so good.👌😂👌😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂😂👌👉👌👌👌👌👌👌❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

bethnaloza: Good book... bad grammar though it gets a little annoying though but otherwise it's good..I stayed up like almost 4am for this damn book!!!It's good and frickn *JehshhsDjjdjxjxmsdbhsjDhsjkakanabshjsjssA

More Recommendations

erene1343: I love the book , it gets you hooked pretty fast , one of the best books I read in this app . Love Thera and Rye they're such a cute couple .😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

asianzwerg: its cliche, but in a good way. it captured my attention at once and ate its way through to my heart. it made me feel lots of emotions, from wanting to rip my hair out to crying myself to sleep coz irs just. stuck. in. my. mind.

Destiny Lee: This is amazing. It's totally realistic - cool girls have flaws, too, okay?? Totally awkward girl picks up her mom's old bass from her garage, messes around, and realizes, hey, maybe I can move on after all. She has moments where everything's hopeless for her, after all, an alcoholic dad and a fl...

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.