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The Order

By hayme

Scifi / Action

Chapter 1


In a galaxy far, far away. Over the planet of Coruscant, two jedi knights lead a desperate mission, with the help of the 301st clone legion, to rescue Chancellor Palpatine from the clutches of General Grievous.

Static came over the receiver as the pilot deftly avoided the incoming trade federation drop fighters with the speed of a racing falcon. They circled around and their guns were locked onto the clone gunship. The pilot began to dive, spin, and turn to avoid them.

The static cut out in the pilot’s headset and a voice said, “It’s time to go. What is taking so long?” The ship shuddered from the buffeting of one of the enemy fighters.

The pilot said into his receiver, “Sorry general, I’ve got two drop fighters on my tail.”

A second voice replied, “We’ll help you. Where are you?” The pilot dove down, attempting to throw off the enemy ships.

“I’m nearing the flag ship on the starboard side, sir.” He dove again and turned sharply to the left. The ship moved with the swiftness of a bird.

“Alright, we are on our way. Hold in there.” The pilot turned on the boosters and swerved to the right. The ships fired at him so he dove the ship down, and again, he swerved to the right.

He yelled back to the men in his ship, “Hold on guys. It’s about to get rough.” He pulled back and put the ship into a steep incline. The second voice came back over the receiver.

“Alright, we are behind you. Try to level out so we can get to them.” The ship leveled out and it was not long before the flash of light and sound of two explosions reached the cockpit.  “Woohoo! Got ‘em!” said the second voice over the receiver.

“Anakin, please try to be professional. Let’s head over to the flagship. We’ll cover you Aero, you get those clones in there.” Aero turned the gunship left and headed for one of the hangars.

Then he said into the receiver. “Lucky for us, It won’t take much to take out these clankers. There aren’t many and they are pretty basic droids” Aero turned on his guns and began to lock in on the droids in the hangar. The first round of fire was a wave that ripped through the hangar and those droids who weren’t hit scrambled for cover. The two jedi fighters zipped past the gunship on both sides and they headed for the landing zones. The pilot shot two rockets at the small pockets of droids in the way and cleared out the landing space. Anakin and the other jedi landed and jumped out of their ships. Their lightsabers blazed to life and deflected the incoming enemy fire with the precision of an X-acto knife. They ran forwards and took out the remaining droids, then they turned and signaled for Aero to land as some more droids ran into the hangar.

He yelled back to the men in his ship, “It’s go time! We’re going in.”



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1. Chapter 1
Further Recommendations

kim: This is great! Maybe it could just be a little more specific. One of the keys to great writing is describing things in detail. I think you're off to a great start. I wish you much luck.

SandraHan1: This story is very descriptive, with vivid scenes from the very beginning, which made for a good scene setting. I love the symbolism in names, such as “Naysayers”, “Hadd”, etc . The story itself is revolutionary, intriguing, emotional and exciting. I was very pleased to see that there is a happy ...

Nymeria: Really can't get enough of this story. It flows well, it captivates the reader from page 1, and throws you into such a well-written, well conceptualized world that you'll believe it's real. Everything in the book is meshed together really well. From character backgrounds to plot twists, you can t...

Jean Tryon: As a beta, I found this story outstanding!! Plot, grammar, phraseology, etc Rachel gives us it all. She takes the story into the future from where due South ends. She is an exacting and thoughtful author.

Muhammed Arfin: really nice.I m reading novel after a long time.it is really fascinating.those people interested in espionage will like this tale.if one needs to advance his know how about espionage this book is your destination

frank17boy3: Great story ,it took me back to the days of Hank Janson etc if you are of a certain age you will know what I mean.Straight forward and no messing about,more twists than a rattlesnake.l Loved it.If you like an none stop page turner I think you will too,

Pablo Rojas: Love the story, at the end it is a western story, simple, yet giving hints and pieces of the situation that is happening all over ravencroft´s universe. easy to read and always keeping with the main stream story I want to keep reading about, Olafson´s adventures.

Dru83: This is perhaps my favorite part of the Olafson story just because it is here that were are introduced to his "gang". The characters are so diverse and complicated that each of them could just about spawn their own story. Eric's buddies are just so captivating and the plot just rolls along. Again...

Christopher Chew: Been a while since reading was this fun. The plot was easy to follow and built at a gradual but good pace. The dynamics between each character were interesting and kept things fresh and exciting, very much so that you would forgive it for not going deeper into the back stories of each character. ...

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Catherine Kopf: Wow! This was a really great story. I really enjoy reading fantasy, so it didn't take long for me to become invested in the book and its characters like Jacob. I really liked your writing style, and it seemed to flow very well. The descriptions that you used for your world were also created n...

263Adder: Okay so I adore this story. I only knocked one star off plot for historical inaccuracies because I'm a bit of a stickler for that. The ending broke my heart though, considering you already changed history couldn't you (SPOILER) change it a bit more and have them together!!!! I want an alternative...

Dru83: This is the second or third time I've read this one and I just love it. It has just about everything you could ever want packed into one scifi story. It still has some parts that are a little rough in terms of grammar, punctuation, and word usage, but it's still an awesome story. I love how detai...

Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

ericaporamoralcine: La trama es muy interesante y original y eso ya dice muchísimo cuando todos tratan de triunfar con ideas ya trilladas.No puedo opinar en detalle sobre la gramática, porque a pesar de entender el inglés a la perfección, la falta de uso en cuanto a lectura y diálogo hacen que me maneje bastante mal...