*~Healing Hizashi~*

*~chapter one-rest and relaxation~*

Today had really not been Shouta’s day.

It was 11:30 at night, and the moon was nowhere to be seen. Dark, matte clouds shrouded the light source Shouta relied on most to travel home, especially after a late patrol like the one tonight.

His whole body ached, and with every step, he felt as if his body got heavier. The main source of pain was directed in his shoulder, throbbing and sending pulses of sharp soreness through his shoulder blade and up his neck.

In short, he was miserable.

These patrols were miserable.

It had started off well, the evening remained quiet for the first half as he made his nightly patrols around the city. He really thought it would’ve been an easy night, just walking around, checking a few key villain spots, and then heading home with zero reports. But right when he was about to start heading home, shrieks and gunshots sounded from a nearby antique store. A mutant villain had broken in and threatened the store’s employees with a pistol.

’Alright,’ Shouta thought as he arrived on the scene, his dull eyes surveying the damage, ’I can get in, nab the guy, wait for authorities, and go home. Easy.’

Yeah. It didn’t go as planned.

Three young and fairly new heroes who had been fooling around nearby showed up, trying to aid Shouta, but in the long run, all they did was make things worse. In the end, there were several more gunshots, some minor bullet wounds, and a very angry Shouta.

He gave the young heroes a very stern lecture about taking villain fights seriously. They listened with wide eyes, and left with wounded egos. Shouta couldn’t help but feel a bit proud of himself as he watched the arriving police emerge from their cars and place the villain in handcuffs. But as his adrenaline dispersed, and his body started to ebb from its numbed state, an agonizing pain shot through his shoulder, and he just barely bit back a sharp cry. His eyes fell down to see a gunshot wound in his shoulder, with crimson blood spilling down his arm. Perfect.

Now, Shouta was walking home in the dark, his fiber scarf wrapped around his shoulder, bloodied and soaking.

He hated these walks home, especially as of recently, now that they were so quiet.

He had normally shared this walk with his husband, Hizashi Yamada. They used to be a lot easier, as the male would try and make light of whatever that night’s events had been, cracking jokes about the villains and gushing over Shouta’s tactics. He liked teasing him over the little things, but Shouta found it endearing. It always helped him feel better.

But now the trek home was eerily silent, and he couldn’t stand it.

He rounded a corner on the sidewalk, cutting through the neighbor’s lawn and making a beeline for his front door. His shoulder ached, and his head pounded so strong it caused his vision to blur a bit. He just wanted to get inside and pass out somewhere.

He fumbled with the doorknob, and finally opened it, nudging the door open with his hip. He closed the door with his foot behind him, and his gaze immediately lifted to glance around with anticipation. He heaved a soft sigh when he saw the top of a blonde head at the couch.

Hizashi whirled around upon Shouta’s entrance, and a bright smile spread across his face once his eyes set on the other. Shouta felt his heart flutter a little, but he chose to ignore it. That smile always put Shouta at ease, but today, it felt bittersweet.

He quickly stood to his feet, making his way around the couch to invelop Shouta in a tight hug, flinging his arms around the ravenette’s neck.

“Welcome home, husband dear,” he cooed, his voice honey-sweet. “That was a long patrol, I missed you.”

Shouta winced as he felt Hizashi go to nuzzle close to his wound. The blonde pulled away, feeling Shouta flinch, and then noticed the bloody scarf. His smile melted to a frown, and his green eyes widened and flickered to Shouta’s, gazing at him in question.

“What happened to you?!” he cried, his gaze darting back to his husband’s wounded shoulder. The panic welling up inside the other was clearly visible as his stare fixated worriedly on the wound, his hand reaching out to gently touch it. Shouta grunted, pulling his shoulder back. “Don’t touch it-” he breathed gruffly.

Hizashi’s brows furrowed, and he lifted his other arm from around Shouta’s neck carefully, putting his hands on his hips. “That didn’t answer my question-” he began.

“Don’t worry about it,” Shouta huffed in reply, moving past Hizashi to make his way to the bathroom.

Hizashi scratched his head, and followed Shouta, continuing to barr him with anxious questions. With every question asked, Shouta’s annoyance brewed.

“Hun, you have to tell me what happened! Is that why your patrol took so long? Did a villain do that to you? Why didn’t you let an ambulance treat it? Did-”

“Don’t worry about it!” he finally snapped, stopping dead in his tracks and turning to glare at the other. He noticed Hizashi whimper a little at the sudden outburst, and the ravenette internally chastised himself for yelling. He took a deep breath to calm himself, screwing his eyes shut with furrowed brows.

He then sighed after a few seconds, his eyes falling down to the floor as he ran a hand through his messy hair.“Look… I’m not in the best mood right now for questions,” he explained in a softer voice. “I just want to get this cleaned up and rest…” He looked back up, taking a few steps forward, and cupped the males cheek in his hand. “I’ll explain everything when I get this taken care of, okay?”

A look of uncertainty crossed Hizashi’s expression, but he nodded, leaning his head into Shouta’s hand.

Shouta felt a pang of regret as he gazed at the other. He knew he shouldn’t be so angry with him, but he was. Part of him felt like he had a reason to be, but he felt like an asshole just thinking that thought, especially considering everything Hizashi had been through as of lately.

And everything Hizashi had seen.

About a month ago, Hizashi had been caught up in a chase during one of his patrols. A large villain, size comparable to Mount Lady’s, had a family captive, and had threatened to kill them if heroes were sent out.

The police force tried reasoning with him from a distance, but he refused to comply, so the pro heroes were finally sent in. This sent the man into a panic, and he made a blind run for it, the family still in tow.

Hizashi was ordered by another hero to go after the villain, and he obeyed, tracking the man deep into the city until he finally found him in an alleyway. But he had gotten there just in time to see something he didn’t want to see.

Right when Hizashi dashed into the alleyway, the villain whirled around in a panic. The family in his hands were staring right at Hizashi, their fear-filled eyes boring into Hizashi’s own. There was a woman, a man, and two little girls, twins.

He had frozen in his tracks, not wanting to pressure the villain and hurt the family. But it was too late for that. In a fit of panic, the villain tensed his hand, and Hizashi heard 4 sickening cracks.

Upon seeing their deaths, Hizashi had frozen solid, his heart dropping. He had seen people die before, but not like this, especially now that their terrified expressions moments before death were engraved into his mind, making his stomach churn. In a few seconds, the villain was gone, leaving behind the limp bodies of the family for Hizashi to stare at.

When the rest of the heroes arrived, they found Hizashi standing in the same spot, motionless in shock, in front of the bodies of the family. Noticing the villain had escaped, several of the pro heroes were furious with him, not taking his petrified expression into consideration as they sent him home.

Now, Hizashi refused to go on any more patrols. He hadn’t worn his hero outfit in weeks, and every time Shouta asked him about joining him on patrol, he would say, "maybe tomorrow."

Of course, 'tomorrow' never happened, and Shouta would patrol alone again.

Shouta knew he blamed himself for what had happened, even though he had given Hizashi countless talks, reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault, that he did his best. And every time, Hizashi would just nod and say he knew, then change the subject.

Something about him had changed, he wasn’t the determined, upbeat Zashi he knew.

He let go of Hizashi’s face, forcing himself out of his thoughts, and turned to continue his walk to the bathroom.

__________________

Shouta stepped out of the shower, screwing his eyes shut and blindly reaching out for a towel to dry off with. Once his hands found it, he brought it to his face, pressing it against his eyes and blinking them open.

He had spent a little too long in the shower, he noticed, glancing a look at the clock on the bathroom wall. Hizashi had insisted he set one up there for Shouta, so he wouldn’t lose track of time. He liked the feeling of the water hitting his back, and he would sometimes stand there for an hour or so, letting the stress of the day wash off and go down the drain.

He dried himself off, and pulled out his robe, slipping it on and tying the sash around his waist.

Too tired to fully dry his hair, he pulled it into a damp ponytail and opened the bathroom door, making his way to the living room.

Hizashi was sitting there, snuggled up under a blanket with a cup of tea in his hands. He was watching the news, and clips from Shouta’s fight with the mutant were playing on the screen. The caption was in big white letters-

“Eraserhead Takes a Shot to the Shoulder From a Rookie Villain.”

Shouta curled his lip as his eyes scanned the caption. “That wasn’t a damn rookie,” he grumbled, flopping down beside Hizashi with his arms crossed. He hated the fact that he had to expose himself for that fight. All it did was set the term "Underground Hero" to scorn.

The blonde cast him a sympathetic look, and picked up the TV remote, setting his cup down on the coffee table.“Do you want me to change it to something else, Sho?” he asked softly.

Shouta just grunted in response, shrugging his shoulders a bit.

Hizashi pursed his lips, gazing steadily at Shouta. He then lowered his eyes, staring down at his feet and fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“...Shouta, are you mad at me?” he murmured quietly, casting a glance at him from the corner of his eye.

Shouta felt himself hesitate in response. He knew the answer was no, how could he be mad at Hizashi? He did nothing wrong. It wasn’t his fault he got hurt.

But a little part of Shouta thought that, maybe, just maybe, if Hizashi had patrolled with him, maybe things would’ve been less hard on him…

But he shook away the thought, letting his eyes lock with Hizashi’s.

“No, Zash, I’m not mad at you.”

“Then why are you acting so…” He made a gesture with his hand, “...well, mad?”

Shouta bit his lip, trying to think of a good response. He couldn’t tell Hizashi what he had just been thinking, all it would do is start another argument over him patrolling again.

“I’ve just had a rough day,” he stated carefully.

Hizashi raised an eyebrow, shooting Aizawa a look that read, ‘you expect me to believe that’s it?’

Shouta huffed, averting his eyes downward, but his husband quickly moved forward, taking Shouta’s head in his hands and forcing him to look at him.

“Sho, you’re a terrible liar,” he murmured, a slight teasing hint in his tone.

Shouta sighed, cracking an ever so slight smile.

“I know…”

The ravenette lifted his tired eyes to meet Hizashi’s concerned ones.

“I’m so tired, Zashi,” he whispered hoarsely.

Hizashi was taken aback by how drained this remark sounded, and his heart ached. He hated seeing Sho like this. He wished there was something he could do, but upon thinking this, he realized what it was that was bothering his lover.

He wanted nothing more than to return to his patrols, and go back to doing hero work. But after seeing the quick deaths of those people in the gruesome way it had occurred, he didn’t think he could handle it if he had to see it happen again. So he decided to play it safe, and stay home. After all, he still had his radio show to keep him busy. He wasn’t entirely useless, he thought dully. And soon, once the summer break was over, he would have teaching to fall back on.

Directing his attention back to his husband’s remark, he sighed and scooted closer, holding his arms out a little. “...come here, love,” the blonde murmured, an affectionate smile tugging at his lips.

Shouta didn’t hesitate to lean into the embrace, laying his head against Hizashi’s chest and letting his body go limp. His muscles relaxed for the first time that night, this earning a shaky sigh from the man.

Hizashi rested his cheek against Shouta’s head, playing with his ponytail and murmuring soft assurances to him.

The two laid that way for a while, enjoying the other’s company. Shouta always enjoyed these comfortable silences. Hizashi, not as much, since his loud personality made it hard for him to stay, well, silent. But he knew Shouta liked them, so he bit his tongue.

But unironically, Hizashi was the first to break the silence.

“Do you wanna go lay down?” He brushed back Shouta’s bangs, and the ravenette lifted his eyes to meet the others. He nodded slowly, and Hizashi sat up a bit, keeping his arms around his husbands as he helped him stand to his feet.

He guided Shouta to their room. The male limped with every step, and his feet dragged with exhaustion. Hizashi felt a sting of guilt as he noticed how miserable the other’s movements seemed.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” he murmured quietly as he helped Shouta sit on the edge of the bed.

Shouta let out a denying grunt, shaking his head. “I’m fine…”

But Hizashi could tell from the look in his eyes that there was something else.

Shouta could feel Hizashi’s questioning eyes bore into the side of his head, and he heaved a sigh.

“I just...wish I had some help today,” he finally muttered, casting his eyes down to the floor.

Hizashi’s silence made Shouta a little nervous, and he was about to dismiss the subject when Hizashi finally replied.

“Why didn’t you patrol with some other heroes then?”

Shouta heaved a sigh. “You know I don’t get along with them very well…” he replied hesitantly.

“You never try to, Sho. The only one you TRY to get along with is-” Hizashi paused as hesitance hit him like a bat, and Shouta lifted his eyes to look at the blonde.

“You,” he stated. They were silent for a moment more, then Shouta continued.

“I don’t understand why you don’t patrol with me anymore…”

Hizashi shakily let out a sigh, his hands subconsciously moving to mess with a strand of his own hair. “Sho, you know I can’t-” he started nervously.

“Why not?” Shouta barked, which made Hizashi jump a bit in surprise. Shouta quickly shrank back, seemingly surprised at his own sudden volume.

“I don’t understand why you can’t. You never talk to me about it, so…” Shouta lowered his voice, his gaze darting back down sheepishly after raising his voice.

Hizashi bit his lip, his fingers getting tangled in his hair as he messed with it nervously. He racked his brain for an excuse. He was so used to doing this as of lately, but for some reason, he couldn’t think of one.

“Hizashi, I know what you saw was… scary...” Shouta spoke carefully and slowly as he stared at the floor. “But… the rest of the city needs you- damnit, I need you.”

Hizashi felt a hand take hold of his free one, which startled him out of his stirring thoughts.

He glanced over to lock eyes with Shouta, who was now gazing at him.

“Please patrol with me tomorrow…” Shouta’s tired eyes seemed to be pleading with Hizashi.

Everything in Hizashi wanted to say yes. The more he gazed into the others eyes, the more his guilt washed over him. The last time he had ever seen Sho with an expression like this was when he had asked him to marry him. He had the same desperate, hopeful eyes. The only difference now was, they were more weary.

But his mind kept flickering back to visions of snapped necks and terrified eyes. He gulped, and quickly shook his head.

“Sho, I can’t. I just can’t,” he replied firmly. “That incident, it just...it messed me up. What kind of asset will I be when all I can do is freeze up?” He felt pathetic. He knew he could go back to patrolling anytime. He wasn’t injured, he was in perfect health. And Shouta was right, with the increase in crime rate recently, the city did need more heroes. The only thing that kept him from doing so was his fear, and this knowledge made him feel like dirt.

“I can’t even handle some stupid mutant thug! How am I supposed to handle larger villains?” Hizashi’s voice started to raise as he ranted, and he had to hold back from accidentally using his quirk.

“I’m no hero anymore, Sho. I’m just a-” he hesitated, sinking his teeth into his lower lip and tugging firmly at his hair in frustration. “-a weak shell…”

Shouta frowned. “Zashi, don’t talk like that-”

“Why not?!” Hizashi retorted, getting so worked up that he let his quirk take over his response. Shouta jolted in surprise, quickly covering one ear with his free hand, pressing his shoulder into the other as his hearing was temporarily buzzed mute with the sudden blast. Hizashi slapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes wide. Burning tears pricked his eyes at this point.

“I’m sorry-” he whispered after a few seconds of silence.

Shouta’s ears rang, and the burst of volume only made his head ache even more, but he held back his frustration. He knew the other didn’t mean to, but it still hurt.

“It’s fine,” he finally responded once the ringing stopped, and his free hand rubbed his temple in an attempt to ease his pounding headache.

“...I can’t even control my own quirk anymore,” Hizashi chuckled bitterly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Shouta sighed gruffly, and leaned over to press himself into Hizashi, in an attempt to both comfort him and shut him up. The blonde was a bit startled by the sudden movement, but quickly relaxed, and continued their embrace from earlier on the couch.

“Let’s just… not worry about it any more tonight, okay?” Shouta murmured softly, burying his face into the crook of the other’s neck.

Hizashi cracked a slight smile and nodded, nuzzling the ravenette’s hair.

A part of him wanted to keep talking about it. He had finally let himself vent a little, and even though he had almost made his husband go deaf in the process, it felt like he had lifted a little weight off his shoulders.

But he also knew that if they continued, Shouta would just try and convince him to join the patrols again. Hizashi could already feel himself shy away from just the thought of it.

Plus, he knew Shouta was beyond tired as is, and the conversation had probably worn him out even more, so he decided to let it go.

He wrapped his arms around the other, being careful to avoid his injured shoulder, and sighed quietly, letting his mind clear.

“Sweet dreams, darling,” he cooed.

“You’re so sappy sometimes…” Shouta grunted.

“I know,” Hizashi chuckled contentedly. After a beat or two of silence, Shouta finally muttered a reply.

“Sweet dreams, love.”