Why I left
I waved goodbye, Tom was in a rush to get me out of his sight. I got in the car and drove way. He wasn't always like that, he cared... He was ..... Nice.
That was the past though, he changed and I don't know why. I told them I was going to pursue my dream in the big city, but really I just wanted to make Tom happy and the only way I could think of was to leave.
I drove for hours not knowing where I was going. I didn't have a plan, I was just going to leave, just like he wanted me to do since..... Never mind. Let me take you back about a week ago.
I was looking at my phone, it was about one in the morning. I rolled over on my stomach and suddenly i couldn't move I heard whisper's, I couldn't hear what they were saying until the started Yelling. They were calling me names, but it sounded like Tom, Edd and Matt! I didn't know what was going on I couldn't see anymore I was cold, scared and couldn't see.
When the voices quieted down and I could start to see again. All I saw was red, Blood red every where! I couldn't breath, I looked down a bit more and saw my arm's ..... Bleeding. They were all cut up and in the sink I saw a Razer blade covered in blood.
The cuts started to sting, I didn't know what to do. I turned on the sink and washed off my arm's and put gauzes on them. I went Back to me room and laid down, I looked at the time and it was 2:36. I groaned and started to drift off to sleep.
~Ennnddd ooooffff fllllaaaassshhh bbaaaaccckkk~
I turned on the radio and continued to drive, I pulled into a hotel parking lot. I opened my car door and walked into the building. I checked in and entered my room. I took off my hoodie, seeing the gauzes on my arms still, I had washed them 3 times already. I unwrapped my arms and looked at the healing wounds.
I sighed and flopped into the bed. I opened my phone to see 19 text and 3 missed calls I groaned and looked at the time, 9:08. I turned off my phone and put it on the bed stand. I rolled over onto side and stared at the wall for awhile, before rolling over and looking at the hotel ceiling.
I opened my eyes to the sun on my eyes. I didn't remember falling asleep. I remembered the texts and calls I had gotten. I looked at my phone and I called Edd back.
"Hey Tord, I tried calling you last night?"
"Yeah sorry I fell asleep."
We talked for a little while longer before he had to go. I put my phone down and started to change, I looked back at my arms and saw they scares. I walked into the bathroom and looked at my reflection and started to cry. I didn't know why.
I put my hoodie on and got back on the road. Again I didn't know where to go, I could go to Paul's and Patryk's place. "I should call first" I thought to myself. Once I arrived at their place I was greeted by the lap post, named Patryk. We entered the house where Paul was smoking a cigarette like usual. I rolled my eyes and walked into the hallway.
I opened the door to my old room. I looked around and cringed when I saw all the anime girls half naked and hentie. I started to redecorate my room.
~after about a week~
Me and Edd and everyone else didn't talk as much, I guess they're to busy going on adventures to talk to me. I went Back to the red army, but this time I was in charge and not my "Dad". I got a new uniform and got to walk and go where ever when ever.
I felt better, but the voices didn't stop. Every morning I would wake up to more cuts on my body. I hated myself. I never told anyone, I was to scared on what would happen or if they would hate me. I had a pretty decent childhood, you know the casual getting bullied in middle school, making fake friends and real ones, falling a class or two, parents fighting and a abusive mother.
I had Paul, Patryk, Edd and Matt. I wasn't alone, but it sure did feel that way. I would barley eat, and I felt like I was going to die. Water was not on my priority list, but I still drank some water now again. I hated my body, life and everyone who never believed in me or cared about me.