Prologue
I was stained, with a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right I just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and I
Will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight
At first there was nothing. Nothing except pitch black. A darkness which was neither war nor cold; it was just there and I within. If the darkness was surrounding me or if it was only behind my eyes I couldn't tell. Were my eyes even open? I didn't know. My body wasn't there, at least I couldn't feel it. Legs, arms, hands, head; I knew they should have been there, because they belonged to me, yet they didn't give any feedback information. I merely existed on the base I knew that I existed, cast out in a sea of darkness.
Time. I remembered that such a thing subsisted, it was non-transcending, but in that blackness there was none. The only thing I had were thoughts. Though even they were tangible. Misty, unclear streams of incoherency. Inside my mind those thoughts should have been clear, but they were all blurry, one moving into another, like a seashell in the sand just below the surface of the ocean, is being dragged out into the waters a little more with each wave every time one reaches for it. And some thought were just flashes, gone before I had a chance to recognize them. Yet they were the only prove to mark a change in the invariably darkness.
They carried on. I carried on existing with them.
Then, after I don't know how much time, as there was no time to tell for me, a sound kept prodding itself into my up to now seemingly deaf ears. Ears I still didn't know if they existed, but nevertheless I heard a sonic again finally. The sound was shortly and unmelodic, but it repeated itself with a steady monotone rhythm. Slowly its volume increased, as if I was diving up from the depths of a sea back towards the surface. Each short beep was a bit louder than the former and with the level of sound the darkness, too, seemed to lift itself a little. It faded from pitch black to a dark grey, the one business suits are held in. Shortly I wondered how I came to make up a comparison with business suits, but the thought quickly vanished again when the dark grey faded now in to a light grey, reminding me of a cat's fur now, and becoming lighter still.
Finally it was gone reversed into its opposite; white. Directly in front of me was sharp, almost blinding light, painful to my eyes, which were unaccustomed to the sudden brightness. Yet I felt relief at the light's piercing intensity. It made me feel, I had my eyes back and, guessing from the heaviness attaching itself to me, my body too was redonned to my existence. The effect of gravity bringing back the idea of actual weight to my limbs.
One of my hands, I slowly came to notice, felt heavier than the other. My brain the hand to move itself to get rid of the unwanted extra weight that buried it. However, my hand remained plainly ignorant to the command. Being denied the support of my hand, I tried to rely on my neck then, but it, too, refused to move, only leaving me with a dull throbbing at the back of my head. Obviously the connection from my head to the rest my corpus was still missing, I would have to content myself with the fact, that I had them, though useless at the moment, back. Unable to move my limbs, I retreated to my eyes, averting them from the white light above to the side, towards where I guessed my hand to be. I didn't get my hand into my vision, though I could see a blurred figure to my right. As the shadow moved into my sight a different sound pervaded the monotone beeping. The beeping I had almost ceased to register. Now, syllables slowly reached my ears.
"… ru… ka."
What was that supposed to mean?
Briefly I had time to wonder. Then, without a warning, the darkness swelled up again to engulf me once more.
