I had no idea how I was going to do this. No idea of what I was going to do. Newt, or Alvi, would have elaborated a strategy, make a plan, and got the result they wanted.
But I was none of them.
Walking toward the hut, I wiped my hands against my pants. I could still feel the sweat running down my spine, scared as I was to mess up, of what will come next. They will probably banned my from the camp, throw me back in the Maze with all of the infected and the grievers. I would be all alone without any refuge. How long would it take for one of the monsters to find me and to eat me or infect me? Worst, what if I got infected and made it back in the village? What if I hurt Newt, or Minho, or Doc, or anybody?
I realized my legs were shaking and my hands were sweaty again.
I stopped and forced a deep breath. I couldn’t allow that. I couldn’t lose. He will talk. I will make him talk I promised to myself.
With a new determination and after wiping my hands again, I finished the few meters between me and my future.
With a decided steps, I walked in ignoring the look of curiosity on the people that observed my strange outburst.
Getting in, I nearly collapsed against Alvi’s back. Avoiding him at the last minute, I went next to him to face Spider.
He was standing, his back to us, talking with Doc’ like nothing happened. He even looked relax, his shoulders weren’t tensed. He was acting like if he was innocent, like he had nothing to be afraid of. Like he shouldn’t be scared of me.
It infuriated me.
My nails dug deep in my palms’ skins. I could taste blood in my mouth because I was biting the inside of my cheeks too hard. All of that to stop me from punching him again. I wanted to make him scream, to make him cry, to beg me for mercy and to laugh at him. I wanted him to be scared of me, to understand I was free now. That I will not be his toy anymore and that I never ever allowed him this control over me. I wanted to hurt him so bad and so deeply that he will cease to be.
God, I wanted to kill him.
It shouldn’t be so hard, right? I just had to strangle him until he couldn’t breathe anymore and that his face turned blue, until his eyes popped out…
A discreet nudge on my side brought me back to reality.
With crazy eyes, I looked at the origin of the contact and realized it was Alvi. He wasn’t watching me but hadn’t been obvious to my “internal” crisis.
I forced myself to exhale and to stop thinking. If I did anything of what my body was ordering me, Spider will have no issues to get away from me. He was stronger than me. No, if I wanted to make him play in my hand, I had to think of a better way.
A different way…
Helpful for once, my mind brought me back the image of a lady with a strict blond bum. He got so pissed when she ordered him round.
There I had my flash.
I will become her. I will be this Madame O’Hara.
With nonchalance, I leant on the wood wall. I forced my body to relax and to express all the assurance that I was far to feel. I built my voice on my memory. And with a cold and haughty tone, I said.
“Did you mess up again, Paul?”
I saw his shoulders tensed. He jerked and turned to face me, his face reflecting fear.
I allowed my body to express its real feeling, and felt my lips stretching in a satisfied smile. Like a shark smelling blood into water, it excited the predator in me to see him like this, even for 1 second.
I let the silence answered me. From what I remembered, she was far too important to push him to answer. She was in control and knew it. I made sure my face was the perfect copy of hers.
With an awkward tempo, he smiled at me.
“Hey…Midget.” Spider said in a dry voice
I ignored him and just waited. I could observe him, all tensed. His eyes quickly ran to the doors and Alvi, which was the most dangerous of us all. Alvi saw it too, and he unperceptively tensed, ready to stop Spider if he tried anything funny. Spider didn’t see it, too focus on me. I had destabilized him.
“Did you?” I asked again with a sight.
“Did I what?” Spider answered abruptly.
He was showing a defensive attitude.
“Did you seriously believe that bringing me back will erase the mess that you did? That you won’t be punished?” I asked with a smile
“What…what are you talking about?” asked Spider, awkwardly.
“I am curious of what she is going to do to you.” I said.
“I have no idea what you are talking about.” He lied.
I smiled and came closer to him.
“I can help you remember…” I murmured before watching him with icy eyes.
“Are you just incompetent or totally stupid?” I murmured to his hear, in my best imitation of this Madame O’Hara memory.
“Did you forget the drugs or waited more than necessary for the tests, again?” I added, not sure if my performance was good enough. But I had to give my everything to it. It was our only chance.
“What…..” Spider started.
I didn’t let him time to talk. Grabbing his collar, I shook him and kept yelling at him. Thinking of it, it was probably less O’Hara-like than me-like.
“You have messed up again, haven’t you?” I shouted.
“No, I…” answered a confused Spider.
“You have messed up and lie to her, you are as useless as usual.” I commented.
“..stop it.” He shouted.
“You know what will happen to you, you know what is going to happen to you, Paul.” I smirked.
“STOP IT!” He yelled
“Paul she told you, don’t ever make her repeat herself.” I put all of the disdain that I had felt coming from this woman, in my words, making him feel useless and powerless.
“Shut up you stupid bitch!” Spider shouted before pushing me back.
He was stronger than me and easily swept me off my feet, making me fall on the ground. The chock took my breath away but I managed to protect my neck from his hands. He was stuck to just shake my collar. His eyes were crazy, burning with hatred and rage.
“You fucking bitch! I will bring you back and she will have nothing to say back. I will show her and make her fucking shut up. I will drag you to her face and she will have to recognize she was wrong and that this idea was great. That I am great.”
“Ohhhh and how could she do that, now that you are trapped here with us? You are even more stupid than she thought. You proved her wrong, congrats!” I said sarcastically, trying my best to ignore the violent shakes he was doing to my collar.
He stopped and just laughed, totally losing it.
“Stupid, me? Stupid me? I am not like you, piece of trash! Of course I know how to get back. This is my plan. All of it is my plan.” Spider bragged.
He kept going on while Alvi and Gal just took him away from me. He was still trying to throw himself at me. Not able to resist, I punched him again right in his noise. I wanted to throw myself at him again and kick his ass.
Only the strong hands of Doc’ stopped me.
“It was not necessary.” Doc’ reproached me, looking at Spider, knocked over from my last punch.
“Maybe not”I admitted. “But damn, I loved it.”
I had a mental high five with myself in front of the knocked out Spider on the floor, for the second time of the day. I was getting used to it.
I started to realize that there was a small group of people at the hut, including Gal, following our discussion. I ignored them and turned to Alvi.
“I think it is enough, isn’t it?” I asked Alvi.
“What the Hell is going on?” Shouted Gal.
Still feeling the adrenaline in my blood I turned to him and point my finger at Spider, lying on the floor.
“He chose to come here. He knows the way out. He is our way out.” I shouted at Gal, still under adrenaline.
Gal looked at me, his face reflecting his confusion.
“What …?” was the only thing he asked.
I didn’t know what it was, probably a mixed between my excitation to know I was going to get out of there, the relief to have been right, the anger I had against Spider, the worried of having him so close. All of these mixing were running in my veins, and under the rush of adrenaline from before, I just wanted to shake Gal to make him understand.
Doc’ probably read the air before I understood and he intercepted me, putting his hands on my forearm.
“Let’s explain everything.” Doc’ said, his focus on Avi, looking for his approval.
“They all have to know what is going on. And then, we have to choose together.” Said Doc’.
“Chose what?” I interrupted.
He didn’t answered me, still waiting for Alvi answer. This one slowly nodded.
“Gal bring everyone to the main Hut.” Ordered Alvi in as deep voice.
“What is going on?” Asked Gal, starting to lose patience.
“Chose what?!” I shouted at the same time, clearly not happy of being ignored.
“Just do it!” Shouted back Alvi.
Both Gal and I shut up, taken aback from the vehemence in Alvi’s voice. Ignoring us, this last one ordered a couple of guys to take Spider to the main hut and to tie him there. Still without a look at Gal or I, he just followed them outside the hut. Gal sighed and threw me a bed look before following him.
“What the Hell is his problem now?” I cursed at Gal’s back.
“He is just confused, and he doesn’t like it. Like none of us.” Sighed Doc’.
“You should go get Newt and take him to the main Hut.” He finished before leaving.
Getting Newt out of the cage was the only thing that make me come back to earth. I was still burning with too any feelings to really understand what was going on, and even worst, what I should do next. Newt will help. He always knew what to do.
I ran out toward the cage where Minho was still in discussion with Newt. Seeing me rush to them, Minho smiled.
“That was fast! Did you missed me that much?” Minho joked.
I ignored him and opened the lock of the bamboo cage.
“Hey! What are you doing?” Asked Minho, surprised.
“It’s ok, Alvi said to do so himself.” I answered before stretching my hands inside the hole of the cage to help Newt out.
This last one stood up and looked at me.
“What’s going on?” Newt asked to me concerned, without taking my hand.
“I’ll explain to you. But first, come out of this cage. Alvi is asking for all of us. And we have our way out, Spider blew his cover up.” I said.
“What???” Shouted Minho.
Ignoring him, I finally grabbed the hand of Newt and helped him out of the cage.
“What happened?” Asked Newt, echoing a shocked Minho.
I could read concern in his eyes. He knew I hadn’t tell him everything before. I was pretty sure he could also feel that what was going to follow will be key.
“It’s a long story…I’ll tell you everything inside the hut. I’ll tell everyone.” I concluded.
“Midget…” Newt said, without letting go of my hands.
I looked at him with a smile.
“It is time.” I said simply, putting a brave face.
Without a word, he tighten his grip on my hand. He knew. He knew that I had to say all the story and all the truth inside the hut. I will not be easy. And it will not be welcomed. But it was necessary.
Newt returned my smile.
“It will be ok. I’m bloody with you.” He smiled at me.
A warm feeling grew inside my stomach. I was not nervous or scared or anxious anymore. I was not alone. Newt, the man I had chosen, the man I trusted, the man I loved was with me. And even if I was unsure of what was going on with him about me, I knew he will have my back.
“Hey…..can any of you explain what is going on?” Asked Minho, feeling something important was happening.
I interrupted my exchange with myself to look at Minho.
“I will explain to you everything in details too.” I said, suddenly scared I was going to lose his trust.
Minho had been one of my first friend, one of my most strong allies, always there when I needed him, always friendly and nice to me. I had no intention to hurt him. But I lied to him for a couple of week. I lied to him about who I was. Who would do that to a friend?
“Minho… No matter what happen inside the hut….I always considered you as my friend and trusted you. It just that some … some things….are very difficult to say. And not matter what, please be sure that I am truly sorry I haven’t tell you before.” I said.
“Heu…said what before?” Asked Minho, disturbed by my sudden gravity.
“…I will say everything. I’ll tell you everything inside the hut. I would have like to tell you alone beforehand, but I am running out of time. Alvi is waiting for us. And then, the outside World is waiting for us.” I answered.
“You’re weird Midget.” Minho answered, unsettled.
“What do you mean by the outside World?” He kept asking.
“Midget…will explain everything inside the Hut.” Interrupted Newt.
He pushed Minho and I toward the Hut where Alvi and the majority of the camp was waiting for us.
I threw a last glance at the doors leading to the outside.
Soon! I promised myself. And this time, I won’t be alone.