Heart

The dead body beneath your feet burns, almost warming your now frozen heart.

This case was a particularly hard one. Those who state that demons do not have feelings definitely didn’t know you. A year after the one pers- dem- thing told you that he never felt the same still was vivid in your mind and still managed to tear your heart in two.

You shake your head. ’Not today, Y/N. Don’t give him the satisfaction.’

The case revolved around couples who had been married only eighteen months. Eighteen months on the dot. Still in the honeymoon phase of their married life. But then, every single one of them was sacrificed. You agreed with Castiel, they were done by humans, not any supernatural creature.

This case kept taking you back to your wedding day, the rings you once exchanged with your ex-husband now lay heavy under your shirts, hidden to everyone but you.

You’d met him the first day he became a demon. Sold his soul for three extra inches below the waist and the attention of one very beautiful lady, which he claimed to be you.

He always was the charmer.

As time went on, you climbed the ranks together, but finally marrying once you both became Hell Hound Breeders and Trainers. A small, church wedding with one very traumatised and frightened priest and two of your closest demonic friends.

It was perfect.

But then…. You blink back tears as you think of the long relationship you had with the King of Hell, but for it all to come crumbling down in five short minutes.

~One Year Ago~

Yes, it was cheesey, but it was your two hundredth and eighty fifth anniversary, and not very many people – or supernaturals – could claim that.

So, tonight was going to be special. As every year was. No presents were exchanged, haven’t ever been, but tonight was the first anniversay that you were going to celebrate since his becoming of King. You were overjoyed for him, as you always were from day one of meeting him. So, here you were, fixing up yourself ready to leave for whatever nightly adventure Crowley had planned.

It took you a couple of minutes to notice the piece of paper laying ontop of your desk and it wasn’t until you were leaning on it to fix up your shoe did you notice the thick, fancy piece of parchment with your husbands handwriting clearly written upon it.

Curious, you opened it and slowly start to read, your heart cracking with every sentence.

Y/N,
I believe this is the best of times than any other to explain a few things to you, espeically now since I have decided to divorce you.
To begin with, I thank you. You have allowed me to crawl up the ranks without causing any suspicsion. Who would have guessed that a happily married demon, who is compassionate and loving, would be able to become King of Hell. I do believe that everyone’s, including your, niaevity lead to me sitting upon this throne.
You see, my darling YN/N, I’ve always been a master manipulater. I knew from day one of you showing me around the Hell Hound Training Yard that you would be the one to help rise to success, even if you didn’t know you were.
So, now as I sit upon this throne, looking back over the past however many years, I realise that I should be gracious. And tell you the absolute truth.
I used you. You were a means to an end, an end which has now come. You mean nothing more to me than the scum at the bottom of Hell’s hirachy, the dirt that I tred upon. I never loved you, Y/N. And I never will.
I do not regret being able to tell you this to you face, because I believe you will guilt me into staying with you longer than I originally intended.
I suppose I should also tell you that you’ve been banned from Hell, Puragatory and all of our homes. The demons have been instructed to bring you straight to the worst torture chamber and use you as practice for newer demons. I have given you twenty four hours to leave with all of your belongings from Hell and my homes.
I have organised for you to stay with the Winchesters for some time until you can finally get yourself sorted. Don’t ever say I didn’t do anything for you.
Goodbye Y/N.
~FM

There, taped to the parchment was his wedding ring. Your jaw clicks as you let at a scream of frustration and agony. Two hundred and eighty five years of memories and it turns out he was just using you. You were nothing more than a means to an end. And now you were to be shipped off to the Winchesters and their pet angel of all people.

A growl leaves your lips as you rip the paper to shreds, pocketing the ring before throwing everything, the letter, Crowley’s suits and prized posessions (including his Craig) into the fire. Books, papers, scrolls, those silk sheets that he just had to buy when they were originally sold back whenever in your long married life. They all joint the fire, building the flames higher and higher. Jewellry that you no longer needed, chairs, anything he bought for you. Except the rings

You turn to the waredrobe once more, packing nothing but the bare essentials before zapping out to a small town down south.

You meant nothing to him.

And you were going to make him nothing to you.

~Present Day~

Your buzzing phone shakes you out of your thoughts. The ID reading ‘Dean’ shows briefly before you answer.

“Yes?” You kick at the dirt as slowly the body begins to stop burning. “Better be good Dean, I’m almost done with the bodies.”

“Yeah well…we have a little bit of a problem.” He seems to answer hesitantly, which instantly raises your suspecions. “You need to come back to the bunker.”

“Body. Almost. Done. Burning.” You say forcefully with a strong gap in between each word, trying to accent your point. “Thirty minutes and they’ll be ash.”

“Drunk. Crowley. Hugging. My. Legs.” He says in the same manner. “I’ll get Cas and Sam to come over and watch them, I’ll stay here to make sure he doesn’t pull anything funny.”

“You trying to protect my honour, Dean?” You smile as you see the angel and the taller of the two Winchesters apppear in front of you. “I’ll be over in a sec, do not draw a devil’s trap.” You wave to the two boys as you spell yourself back to the Bunker.

“Oh. My.” The sight you are greeted with isn’t a pretty one. Sure, you’d seen your ex drunk before, but not pitifully so. Here was a demon who was one) so drunk it was almost comical, two) unshaven, unkept and completely disheveled, and finally, was going between Kevin’s and Dean’s legs, holding them close, begging them to forgive him.

Dean was amused, Kevin was completely lost and you…..well, you were pissed.

Clearing your throat, you watched as Crowley turns around, face slowly changing from one of tears and confusion to one of joy and complete relief.

“YN/N! I missed you poppet!” You simply raise an eyebrow. “Darling?

“Gentlemen,” you address the boys in front of you, “please allow the King and I a few moments alone. I do believe that I’m entitled to a private audience with him.” Crowley’s face drops once he hears your formal tone.

Dean ushers Kevin out with a small smirk. As soon as the door closes you hear his ‘Crowley’s in for an arse-whopping’ comment.

Silence decends upon the two of you. He moves to stand and instantly you take a step back, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. He swallows, your eyes narrow before finally allowing yourself to speak.

“How can I help you, Your Majesty?” He winces, knowing that once you spoke so formal, he was in deep shit, knowing that soon your top will pop and then it would be screaming and most likely tears.

“Come now, luv, don’t be like that, I-”

”Be like what, be like what?!” Your voice raises before you set your jaw. “I don’t see why you are here, sire, afterall, I’m just a pawn in your game, a strategic manover, a means to an end.” Again, he winces, moving forward as you move back.

”I know I said some pretty horrible thin-“

”You divorced me in a letter, banished me from my home and, on top of that, called me nothing more than a thing. A way to get to the top. And worst of all, you manipulated me! You made me feel love that I’ve never felt for anyone or thing else and it was all just a ploy to get you a crown.” You feel your eyes beinning to water as you turn around.

”In fairness, you did destroy all of my belongings, took my mutt and then burnt my houses to the ground.” He adds in, which infuriates you more.

”You stole, played with and ripped out my heart!” You scream back, finally at breaking point. “You used me for your own devices. I’m so sorry that your possessions mean more to you than the feelings of another creature, then I’m glad I destroyed something so precious to you.” You feel your shoulders shake as you turn away. “What do you even want?”

Crowley pales during your mini rant as he moves up to hold you from behind, arms wrapping around you until they link around your middle, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t escape his grip. Once an itimate hold between the two of you now held nothing but dark memories.

”Because, I want you back.” You could feel the rage trembling through your body.

”You think I’m just some dog ready to heel at your whistle?!” Your shriek echos through the halls as he tries to backtrack. “You think you can manipulate me again?!”

”Please, I’m sorry YN/N, I-“

”Do. Not. Call. Me. That.” You grind out, finally managing to remove yourself from his arms, turning to poke at his chest. “Don’t you ever call me that, you do not have the right.”

He swallows before trying again, this time more passionately. “Y/N, please! I know I messed up- I know I shouldn’t have left you but you know I had to!”

”Had to? You didn’t have to do jack squat!”

”They would have killed you!” He shouts back, running his hand through his short hair. “I had to….I had to protect you!”

“Oh did you, now?” You asked, crossing your arms. “And leaving me in such a cold way was the best way to do it?!”

“Yes and I know that you’re angry but-” You cut him off, your mask slipping slightly.

“Angry? Oh no Crowley I’m not angry.” You state in a cold, calm, almost venomous voice. “I never was. I never felt angry. Sad? Maybe. Betrayed? Sure. Lost? Yes. Alone? Definitely. Broken? Yeah. But angry? Oh no, Crowley don’t worry. I’m not angry at you for leaving me all alone when I was by your side through thick and thin. I’m not angry at you for leaving me all alone and broken, the way you did. I’m not angry.” You swallow back your tears, threatening to fall. “No Crowley, I’m sad, betrayed, lost, alone, broken and livid.”

“Oh poppet.” He sighed, moving to draw you into his arms once more, trying to give you some comfort. “I’m so sorry, I- Please I can’t make it without you, and I-”

”Well you should have thought about that before you left me!” You build your mask up once more, not letting it faulter again.

”Dove……” He trails off, unable to find words in his drunken state, but instead pulling you towards him and crashing his lips down onto yours.

Normally, he smelt of the firmiliar scent of sulphur with sandelwood, and tasted of a sweet he was – and still is – quite fond of when he was a child (you were quite sure it was some form of caramel), bitter chocolate with a faint after taste of Craig. But now, all you could smell and taste was Craig, you were practically drowning in it. The kiss was passionate, and meant to sweep you off your feet, but instead you found yourself wondering….how much Craig did he drink?

He pulls back and you instantly go to slap him, outraged as to how he has been treating you. He, even in his drunk state, is too quick and catches your hand, pulling you in closer for another kiss. “I’m sorry.”

”I bet you are, let me go.” You start to wiggle, hoping to remove yourself from his grip.

”I’m sorry.” He repeats, kissing you again. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

”I’m sorry I ever met you.” You glare.

”I’m sorry I lied to you.”

”I’m sorry you’re struggling to see reality.”

”I’m most sorry that you think that I do not love you.” He kisses your forehead in a tender fashion. “I know we can never be the same as we once were, something that I will miss terribly, but I wish for us to start again, be married once more.” He eyes something, fingers dancing until it meet the chain around your neck. “And something tells me,” he lifts up the chain until the rings are visible, “there is some part inside of you that wishes the same.” He drops the chain. “Please, one more chance?” You take a deep breath. Crowley could never lie when he was drunk and he could definatley not reak or taste so badly of Craig and still be sober. But, you were still hurt.

”I can’t, McLeod.” You state firmly, beginning to walk away.

”Y/N, please, jus-“

”I can’t trust you after what happened. Maybe I will be able to continue our relationship sometime in the distant future.” You refuse to look back as you say your piece. “But definatley not now.”

The King of Hell looks almost human as be hold back his tears of dread and horror. “Please Y/N. I love you.” You grace yourself one look back at the pitifully crying King.

”I’m not sorry when I say this, but I do not love you back.” With those cold words spoken, you leave the room, leaving the now broken dem- man crying on his knees, still yelling out to you three simple phrases.

Please, come back.

Y/N, no, please, don’t leave me here.

Y/N, please, I love you.