Confessions x and x Apologies
The information the innkeeper had given Kurapika hadn’t been as helpful as he would’ve hoped. All he got was that she had wanted to get on an airship to an undisclosed location and that she asked them where the nearest airport was. So now he was at the airport they had told her to go to with completely no idea which one she took. He had tried asking the staff, but even when he showed them their hunter license, they wouldn’t tell him as they have had plenty of hunters using their transport services and so there was an agreement of silence in accordance to any hunter’s destination.
Kurapika slumps down into one of the chairs in the airport after being rejected from the receptionists. ‘Now what am I going to do? Should I just take a guess and pray it’s the right one?’ Kurapika thought, but immediately throws that idea away as it wasn’t only a huge stupid gamble, but it would be useless if he didn’t know exactly where she was going. From what he had found out, it had been about a day since she left the inn, which is more than enough time to come to this airport, get on an airship, get off and he doubts that where the airship stopped was her exact destination.
“Hey there,” a voice from behind him calls out.
‘Oh no.’ Kurapika thought as he recognized that voice immediately. “Hisoka, what are you doing here?”
“Well since I killed my partner, I was automatically disqualified so now I have some free time on my hands,” Hisoka explains a little too happily in Kurapika’s opinion.
“And what does that have to do with me?”
“What if I told you I know where you partner is?”
“You know where Sakura is?!” Kurapika immediately stands up and questions Hisoka.
“Well, I have quite a big hunch,” Hisoka replies and hands Kurapika a slip of paper.
Kurapika takes the paper and it turns out to be an airship ticket.
“What’s the catch?” Kurapika asks. He was a little dubious of the fact that Hisoka would help him without wanting anything in return.
“No catch, I just want to see how it turns out,” Hisoka says with a seemingly innocent tone.
Kurapika was definitely wary of Hisoka’s response, but he was getting a free ticket to where Sakura was so who was he to complain. “Can you give me a more specific location,” he enquires, as the ticket would only take him to a general area.
“Sorry, but it’s your hunt,” Hisoka responds with a smile.
Kurapika really wanted Hisoka to tell him Sakura’s location, but his pride wouldn’t let him. Hisoka was right this was his hunt and no one else’s.
“Have a safe trip,” Hisoka tells him when his flight was called.
Kurapika ignores him and boards the ship.
‘I wonder if this ship will actually take me to where Sakura is.’ Kurapika thought with dread as he realizes that he had just trusted Hisoka with no evidence that he actually knew where Sakura was. Kurapika breathes out a sigh. ‘Well it’s too late now.’ The ship he was riding on takes almost half a day to reach his destination. He wouldn’t have time to board another airship if he wanted to make the three-day mark.
Meanwhile Sakura had already got off the airship and was heading towards her destination. To be honest, she didn’t really want to go there, but she has decided that it was time to get some closure.
‘I wonder if Kurapika has been here since then,’ Sakura thought. He probably has, after all it was his home…
It wasn’t long before Sakura reaches the Lusko province.
‘I hope I still know the way…’ Sakura thought as she proceeds to go into the forest.
Sakura’s only attempt to find the village was when she was three with her parents so she wasn’t very confident. Especially since the first time didn’t end so well and she had been trying her best to block out the memory. Well, it’s not like her way out of the village to the outside world went as smooth either… She shudders as she remembers how she was able to leave, she wouldn’t have even dreamed that she was going to go back willingly, though that was the thought back when they were still alive. When she had found out that they had been massacred, she honestly didn’t know how to feel. They didn’t treat her all that great, they were still technically her family, but she can say that a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
She was finally free.
After walking for a while, trying her best to follow the path she had taken the last time, Sakura comes upon what seemed to be a tombstone. From what she could make out, a cross had been etched into the rock and underneath was a few words, which she decides to read out loud.
“Here lies a mother, a father and…a daughter ” Sakura pauses and re-reads the next part over and over again in her mind, making sure she read it correctly.
“Those jackasses killed me off!” Sakura shouts in disbelief, but well she can’t really say she didn’t expect something like that. However she was genuinely surprised at the fact that they were kind enough to give her family a gravestone. Although it was probably just to ease their guilt. Sakura breathes out a sigh and keeps on moving.
From there on out she would be walking blindly into the forest, but she wasn’t going to let this lower her determination.
‘I can do this. I can get there and then I can finally leave this behind me for good.’
It turned out that the gravestone was actually very close to the village. Sakura should be happy right now, but she couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face. Her mother was so close, so close to returning to her home only to be killed in front of the entrance.
‘I can’t believe I was naïve enough to think they were decent human beings!’ Sakura thought angrily, but no matter how much regret she felt, the past can’t be altered and the scars will never disappear.
Whilst Sakura was on her way into the village, the airship lands and Kurapika quickly takes in his surroundings. It wasn’t long until he realizes where he was.
‘Don’t tell me...’ Kurapika thought as his mind immediately thinks of one place, his village. He didn’t know what else would attract Sakura’s attention, but she couldn’t possibly know where the village. But then again, his village’s location wasn’t so secret now like the past and she was very knowledgeable. ‘Does she feel guilty…’ He thought with a little guilt. From what he had gathered from the past couple of weeks about Sakura is that she was very sensitive to the idea of death and her had practically thrown her into a rather uncomfortable situation when he brought her along to find the scarlet eyes for the previous phase. What’s more is the fact that he got careless and lost his fight and he knew she must’ve had to get the eyes herself and carry it with her. The pair of floating red eyes must’ve affected her pretty bad considering her reaction to his scarlet eyes that were still inside his head.
‘I guess I can’t really do anything about it now.’ Kurapika resigns and heads to the village. There is a part of him that wants his theory to be wrong but there was just something in him that told him that Sakura was definitely there.
It didn’t take Kurapika long at all to reach his village. Even after all the time that he had been away, he still knew that forest like the back of his hand. Upon entering the village, there was no sign of Sakura at all. He starts to go deeper into the village to look for her and as he does, the memories just come flooding back to him. He could still remember how his village used to look like and the people who lived in each of the houses. He remembers his house and Pairo’s house, but some reason his legs bring him to a different house.
‘This is…’ Kurapika thought as he recalls the house in front of him. This house was a little different from the rest. It was a little further away from the other houses and he vividly remembers to person who lived in that house, which was why it was sad to see it in shambles although it wasn’t as bad as the rest of the village, which was a little odd. He can see that it had been hit and there were definitely a number of bloodstains on the house, but he was surprised to see how still intact it was compared to the other houses.
Unbeknownst to Kurapika, Sakura was in the very house he was currently staring at.
‘Crap, how did he know I was here?!’ Sakura panics as she sees that Kurapika was right outside the door and she definitely did not want him to find her here. ‘I know! I’ll just sneak out the back window and run as far away as I possibly can.’ Sakura thought and would’ve succeeded in her escape if not for the coffee table in front of her. In her flustered state she completely misses it and bumps right into it and everything on the table falls off.
Kurapika hears the loud noise from inside the house and immediately runs up to the door and opens the door to find Sakura crouching down on the floor clutching her sore leg.
“Sakura?!” Kurapika yells out with a little surprise, although he sort of had a feeling she would be there, it was still surreal actually seeing her there in front of him.
“Hey Kurapika, what are you doing here?” Sakura responds in a normal tone, even though inside she was freaking out inside.
“What am I doing here, what are you-” Kurapika starts only to remember that he already knew the answer. “Look I know you feel bad about the scarlet eyes thing but that doesn’t mean you have to visit this village to apologize.” Kurapika tells Sakura, who just looks back in utter confusion.
“I mean I know you feel like you’ve disrespected the Kurata clan by taking the scarlet eyes, but I did ask you and I’m a kurata so it’s okay,” Kurapika attempts to clarify.
Sakura gets what Kurapika was trying to say and is relieved to her that he was way off target to the reason for why she was here, but a little part of her still feels like it had just been shot knowing that Kurapika still doesn’t remember her.
“Although I would appreciate it if you didn’t enter other people’s homes without permission.”
‘Eh?’ Kurapika words catch Sakura off guard.
“Just because they’re gone doesn’t mean it’s suddenly okay for anyone to enter,” Kurapika continues, which irritates Sakura.
‘What the hell!’ Sakura thought angrily, but she decides that it’s best not to say something. That was until she heard the next thing Kurapika says.
“It belonged to a very special friend of mine,” Kurapika states, not knowing what this once sentence did to Sakura.
“You’re unbelievable.” Sakura says with her head down and bangs covering her eyes. She didn’t know why, but all the emotions she had been keeping deep inside her were just starting to spill out.
“…What do you mean?” Kurapika says, completely lost.
“Do you really know who this house belongs to?” Sakura questions him.
“I told you, it belonged to a friend of mine,” Kurapika answers confused.
“Describe them to me,” Sakura demands.
“I said describe them.”
“Why do I have to do that? It doesn’t concern you.” Kurapika responds a little angrily and receives only silence from Sakura.
Kurapika remains silent as well and the awkward silence continues for a while until Sakura speaks again.
“…Get out,” Sakura tells Kurapika in a quiet voice.
“What?” Kurapika asks, as he couldn’t quite catch what Sakura had said.
“I said get out!” Sakura bursts out in anger, which made Kurapika angry.
“What makes you think you can-”
“Because this is my house!” Sakura shouts, she didn’t care if he found out anymore. Honestly enough was enough, why did she have to shoulder this burden. It was clear that Kurapika didn’t even care about her. He was just like the others that had caused her so much pain.
Kurapika was about to yell back at Sakura until he sees her eyes, which had changed colour during her outburst and that’s when it finally dawns on him.
“…Mikan?” Kurapika calls out hesitantly and when he receives no response he reaches out to her only to receive a harsh rejection.
“Don’t touch me!” Sakura smacks Kurapika’s hand away.
“Look I’m sorry but you should’ve told me,” Kurapika apologizes, but he was a little annoyed that for the fact the Sakura knew who he was and didn’t tell him who she really was.
“I should’ve told you?” Sakura says in disbelief. “You’re saying I should’ve told you?!”
Kurapika was about to say something back, but Sakura wasn’t done.
“Did you know that even before you told me your name, I knew exactly who you were just by looking at you, but you didn’t? Did you know how much it hurt during this time when there were so many opportunities for you to figure out who I was and yet you completely cast them aside? Did you know how much of me was crushed when you told me that I needed your permission to enter my own house?! I thought we were friends! I thought you actually cared about me! But I guess you’re just like those other scumbags.”
“Okay I think that’s going to far!”
“Too far? Too far?! Do you know what’s really to far?! Murdering one of your own and her husband just because he was an outsider! Taking in and lying to their daughter only to kill her too when she eventually found out the truth!”
“Don’t you even dare say my name! I don’t want to hear you say the only thing my parents could give me!” Sakura shuts Kurapika down and that’s when she really began to break and spill out everything that she had been bottling up inside. “It’s so frustrating! I thought that if I put the past behind me and just pretended that it never existed who make me happy and honestly it did. I met Maya and Chase and became a hunter and I travelled the world and ate all the sweets I wanted and just when I thought I was finally done, you appeared and… I was overcome with so much joy. Even when you didn’t recognize me, I thought that it was for the best because I didn’t want to deal with that part of me ever again. I didn’t want to go through that pain again yet it felt like a small part of me dies every time I saw that you only saw me as just another participant and I don’t know why! Why do I feel this way… why can’t I forget you…” Her eyes start to change back as her anger was overtaken by the immense sadness she had tried her best to conceal.
To say that this overload of information shocked Kurapika was an utter understatement and the only thing he could do was go up and hug Sakura.
“I’m sorry. I know that it won’t make up for it but I just want you to know that I’m really sorry,” Kurapika apologizes with complete sincerity. This surprises Sakura but she just hugs him back and cries her heart out.
The next day both Kurapika and Sakura arrive back at the exam site. The airship ride back was a silent one. Kurapika was still digesting all the things Sakura had said and Sakura slept through most of the flight. It had been a while since she expressed her genuine emotions and it really tired her out. Neither of them had said anything to the other since the whole confession in the village and both honestly had no idea how long this silence was going to last, but it looks like they didn’t need to solve it themselves.
“Kurapika! Sakura!” Gon calls out to them as they enter the building and it wasn’t just him there. Killua, Leorio, Hanzo, Maya and Chase were all there as well.
“Sakura! Where the hell have you been?!” Maya shouts at Sakura with more concern than anger.
“Um… just you know… places,” Sakura says sheepishly.
“So how did it go?” Chase interrupts Maya and asks Sakura.
“Did you tell him you were a Kurata?” Killua joins in.
“Wait, what?!” Leorio yells out before Sakura could answer.
“What is he talking about?” Maya questions Sakura.
“Um… can we not talk about this now?” Sakura responds as the questioning stares were overwhelming her.
Everyone didn’t want to back off but they could tell she really didn’t want to tell them so they stopped. Besides seeing as how Kurapika wasn’t shocked at the mention of her being a kurata, she must’ve told him.
“That was a little mean of you changing your name though,” Killua says.
“Huh? Who told you I changed my name?” Sakura tilts her head in confusion.
“Well your name now is Sakura and before it was… Mikan or something right?”
“Um, well they’re both my names. Mikan’s my first name and Sakura is my second,” Sakura states.
“This is the first time I heard about this!” Maya announces a little annoyed to hear that she didn’t even know her best friend’s first name.
“Eh, I thought you knew?”
“Well I didn’t.”
Sakura thinks back to when she and Maya first met and realizes why Maya didn’t know her first name. “Oh, I remember now. The first time we met, you guessed my name was Sakura from my hair colour.”
“Why didn’t you correct me?”
“But you were technically right and you seemed to happy so I couldn’t bring myself to tell you that it was only half of my name and I guess as time went on I just forgot about it haha…” Sakura laughs it off and receives a glare from Maya.
“Oh… so it was your fault,” Killua says.
“What do you mean it’s my fault?!”
As Sakura watches them bicker, she couldn’t help but laugh at the simplicity of the fight. After all the drama she went through with Kurapika she really needed something like this to lift her spirits.
Sakura looks over to Kurapika and sees that he was looking back at her with a gentle smile. She quickly whips her head back around, a light blush coats her cheeks. Just because Kurapika now knows that they were childhood friends and had sincerely apologized to her doesn’t mean that she would just automatically go back to the way things were with him. Out of the corner of her eye she could still see him smiling at her and her blush deepens.
‘Ugh, what’s wrong with my heart today…’
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