The real story behind Cranky Kong.
Cranky Kong sat in his chair looking cranky as usual. Suddenly Mario came along and just stared at him awkwardly.
"What?" Cranky asked.
"You're supposed to be the original Donkey Kong that kidnapped Pauline right?" Mario asked.
"That's right. What do ya what?"
"If you're the original Donkey Kong, how come I'm not old too?" Mario asked.
"Kongs age differently from humans." Cranky replied. "I'm guessing you're in your mid 40's now."
"No I'm only 27 according to a Smash Bros trophy."
"Regardless I'm still the original Donkey Kong." Cranky replied.
"Bullshit. Look at Yoshi's Island DS. That has Donkey Kong as a baby along with me and Luigi, that suggests right there that Kongs age similarly to humans. Also how come the new Donkey Kong with the tie also appears with Donkey Kong Jr in more recent games? Such as the 1994 Donkey Kong, that features Donkey Kong how he looks now with the tie? Donkey Kong Jr has also appeared in Mario Kart, Mario Tennis and the Game Boy Game and Watch Series. And I'm not the only one who should be older, a good amount of the others should be older too. Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, Pauline, Peach don't look any older."
"Ermm…erm…." Cranky Kong struggled.
Suddenly Donkey Kong Jr came along. He looked similar to his appearance in the Donkey Kong Jr arcade game. "Hi Grandpa." He waved.
"ALRIGHT! I'M A FRAUD! !" Cranky Kong then cried.
"I just said "Hi Grandpa." Said a puzzled Donkey Kong Jr.
"I'm not the original Donkey Kong, I'm just his father, Donkey Kong is the same as he's always been, he just decided to not wear a tie for a brief period!"
"But why did you lie?" Mario asked.
"I'm a nobody, that's why! I'm a bigger loser than Waluigi! I never did anything except raise my son! I've been lying to my old pension's club! So that when I die, I'll at least be remembered for something! I lie that in the original Donkey Kong I was at least 55 years old and as I retired, the age really kicked in!
"I knew something was up." Mario smiled.
"A bigger loser than Waluigi." DK Jr spoke. "I didn't think that was possible."
"Don't tell anybody please! My son and grandson just go along with it, they just want me to be remembered!"
"Sigh….fine. Good day, Cranky and Junior." Mario walked off.
Meanwhile Wario had heard everything behind Cranky Kong's house.
"Wait till all my friends at Wario Ware, hear this." He grinned at Waluigi who was with him.
"Am I really a loser?" replied Waluigi. Tears appeared in his eyes.
"Of course you are! You only appear in spin offs! Even Stanley the Bugman appeared inhis only main game!" Wario replied.
"Let ME tell your friends. That way Cranky appears as the no 1 loser." Waluigi said.
"Fine." Wario rolled his eyes.