Back, Then Gone Again
Author's Note: Nothing really belongs to me.
Chapter Twelve: Back Then Gone Again
I ran my fingers through my hair, leaning with all of my weight against the balcony. Was this really all happening once more? History was repeating itself once again…How long could I stay there waiting for a sign of something to give me some hope that all of this was not happening?
Finally, I found myself moving into the wash room off of the royal suite. It was still very disorientating to be in a room that was not my own. All of my life had been spent in a castle, yes, but not here. Not in these quarters. When I walked into the wash room, I noted the single perfume bottle sitting on the vanity with a single parchment attached to it. I took a seat at the vanity and untied the note.
We all agreed on this one. ~Girls
A smile grew on my face. Sometimes I wondered why I was blessed with such caring servant girls. Slowly, I popped the cork from the top of the bottle and inhaled the fragrance. A warm scent entered my nose, a very warm scent, unlike the floral that my maids typically would choose for me. I turned the bottle over on my wrist and quickly turned it back over before moving to the other wrist and patting the wet substance behind my ear as well.
I looked into the mirror just as a yawn escaped my mouth. Maybe I could get some rest tonight…all I needed to do was let all of this settle in. I needed to listen to my sister and be strong. Perhaps, I was depending too much on others to take care of me. Over the last year, I had basically had all of my needs spoon-fed to me and this was my chance to prove to myself that I was still strong and could still be calm through all of this.
Slowly, I pulled myself up from the vanity and exited the wash room. As I leaned against the doorway and looked over the grand room, I noticed that not only had the girls left perfume in the wash room, they had also spread rose petals over floor. Another smile came to my face as I walked over to the covers and pulled them away gently. Still not giving up all hope, I climbed atop of the bed and tried to relax myself.
I found sleep came and went. It would grace my eyes, but soon after I would find myself thrashing about and waking up, even shrieking once or twice. After one dream, I actually screamed for the image I saw in my dream was of the castle burning and Telmarines running away in fear. However, I was trapped on the inside, alone. It was so viciously real that I couldn't stand to try and sleep through it anymore.
Finding that sleep would probably not come anytime soon, I crawled over to the edge of the bed and walked back over to the wash room. There was some water remaining in the basin that lay on the floor. I picked it up and splashed a bit of the cold water onto my face. Both of my elbows resting on the counter, I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to shake the image from my head. I felt so childish…I couldn't even go to sleep…good grief.
Then I felt a pair of hands at my waist and almost jumped out of my skin. I hardly needed to turn around to know who it was, but never the less, I turned quickly to see Caspian standing there.
"What is wrong?" he whispered into my ear as I threw my arms around his neck.
Not answering his question, I replied with one of my own," Have you caught him?"
Softly, I broke away from Caspian and looked directly into his eyes through the moonlight," He has not been caught, no."
"Then why-" I asked, my voice becoming more worried.
"Shhh," he moved a finger up to my lips, still looking directly at me," Can you trust me enough to not worry about him for now? I came back to be with you."
It would be hard for me to put Jacob out of my head for it was still unnerving for me to think of him lurking around out there, but I soon forgot of him briefly as I felt Caspian's lips on my neck. He didn't have to come back, in fact, he should have stayed, but…he wanted to be with me. I was blessed with a man far better than what I ever should have deserved.
"So there still is a troop chasing after him? Right?" I asked Caspian that next morning, the sun already high in the sky as I sat on the balcony.
He stood both hands on the railing of the balcony, gazing over the landscape," Yes, and we are going to deploy more search parties after him."
I took a look at the fruit that had been brought in to us and took a bite out of the apple sitting perched on top," So that he won't have a chance to get to the castle, right?"
Caspian looked at me out of the side of his eye and nodded, obviously irritated," Yes, that's why. I really wish you wouldn't worry about all this."
I picked at the skin of the apple before taking another bite," I'm sorry, it's just that I don't want what happened last time to happen again."
"I thought you were longing for adventure?" he teased me gently, trying to lighten the mood.
"Adventure would be nice, theoretically, but I think now that I realize how real this could be-it's a little frightening," I admitted to him, a smile on my face.
There was a silence as he nodded his head," I would have to agree with you. I thought that perhaps I could walk into this and bring peace to this nation, but it looks as though I am going to have to work hard."
Gently, I tossed the apple core aside and walked up beside him," You will still be an excellent leader. Despite what my brother says, he mostly full of it."
Caspian sighed," He makes me anxious, Rosalie. If General, the one who doesn't scare easily, is telling me that he is retreating-then your brother must really have an even larger army waiting out West. I received a transcript from him last night that claimed he needed reinforcement."
I furrowed my brow at him," What does this mean? Are you going to send him more help?"
Without looking at me, he nodded," Yes…" he trailed off and I could tell by the tone of his voice that there was more.
"And…?" I questioned further, trying to figure out what was going on inside his head.
"I thought that this could be avoided, Rosalie. I thought that I could send General out there to take care of the problem and it would all be over, but now I know that there is someone behind all of this. Jacob alluded to the fact that your father had been building this, had been helping him with this-this army. He's been intending to overthrow the King for years and now, this is Jacob's opportunity. A new King, a new young leadership has arisen and this is his chance," for the first time, Caspian turned to me," And I, me personally, will not allow him to do it."
I started to understand what Caspian was hinting at.
"I'm leaving to find Jacob. I'm leading this battle on them and once and for all, the evil that your father conjured will be destroyed," he admitted to me, looking directly into my eyes.
Leaving? He was leaving…leaving me alone.
This was exactly what I had feared.
I took in a lot of air before breaking my gaze with him," You can't leave me alone, Caspian. I haven't the slightest clue on how to run a nation."
"Well you technically haven't had your coronation-" Caspian started and then I ran with it.
"Postpone the coronation until after you return!" I exclaimed, thinking my idea to be brilliant.
He shook his head," Rosalie, if I am to leave, the people need a strong leader to look up to."
"Then, appoint Apollo, or something, but not me," I pleaded with him, wanting almost anything other than to have all of the pressure of Queen put onto me.
Caspian placed both of his hands on my shoulders," Why do you doubt yourself?" he whispered so softly.
"Because I have never done that before," I argued," I have never led before."
He looked at me disapprovingly," I have never seen a woman who has led more than you. Has everything you have done during the skirmish with Miraz counted for nothing? Does none of that matter to you? Look at yourself, one of the things I love about you most is your bravery Rosalie, please don't back out on me now. My council of advisors has agreed to help you, there are no other men that I would trust more to help you than them."
He may have been right, but this was all different. This was me, taking the lives of Narnians into my hands. I don't believe I had much of a choice…I collapsed into his arms before saying," Even if I am a good leader, will I be able to deal with not knowing if you are safe or not?"
His hand moved under my chin and forced me to look up at him," I will write to you as frequently as I can."
A small smile came to my face before a sigh escaped my mouth," Do I dare ask how long it is we have together until you are deployed?"
"Four days," he said.
In those four days, a lot of events took place. All of them happening so quickly, that I hardly was able to keep up with them. I would have loved to be able to enjoy my coronation ceremony and to be able to absorb the experience, but almost immediately after the ceremony, I was being pulled away by Caspian and the council to speak of all of the tasks that I was to do in his absence. The castle was an extremely busy place and I could hardly think straight.
One of my first tasks as Queen was to help in the organizing of battle plans of the army, though I was not the one in charge of this, I was still expected to be present in order to understand what was going on. Most of the intricacies of the battle plans, I was not interested in, but I did have to understand what I was to do if something were to go wrong.
When four days had passed, I found small comfort in the fact that I had spent the last three days talking over what needed to be done with the advisors. Several of the men were leaving alongside Caspian in order to fight this army that Jacob had created, they may not have known the specifics of where he was, but they knew what to do should they see him again. I was nervous over the whole idea, due to the fact that there wasn't a specific plan, but they all seemed to be rather confident on the idea.
I found myself rising early that morning, carefully unweaving myself from Caspian's arms. The morning that I knew he was to leave. I had risen before him and sat in his study, looking over his battle plans once more. Clad in my night clothes still, I vigorously was studying the notes he had lain out on his desk. He came in soon, looking over my shoulder.
"I hardly think there is much more to be done now," he told me, leaning down and placing a kiss on my cheek as he buttoned the long sleeve, white cotton shirt.
"I can never be too sure," I replied, looking up at him, smiling.
He chuckled while turning the chair away from the plans. He fastened the last button on his shirt before pulling me upward, away from the papers," Is it even worth me telling you not to worry?"
"Probably not," I told him, still smirking," You know that I'm going to."
"What happened to the fearless Rosalie I knew just a year or two ago?" he questioned, tilting his head at me.
"She was forced to grow up a little bit. And in the process she lost almost everything she had," I told him carefully," She was forced to grow some concern."
He nodded his head understandingly before saying," Perhaps, this more mature Rosalie, should change into some nicer clothing, hmm?"
I looked down at the night gown I was wearing before looking back up at him," What? You do not like this look? I found it to be rather…hmm…what do you say….elegant? No?"
He released a chuckle before taking a seat in his chair," Would it be best that I not reply?"
A look of shock came to my face," You are allowed to look over the plans, but I am not? Is that what you are telling me Caspian?"
In defense, he lifted his hands," I merely am looking over what the agenda is for today. I am going to be using these for my benefit, but you are only going to look at them and worry more."
I started to argue, but before I could there was a loud knock at the door. With a final glare to Caspian, I turned to answer the door. Standing at the door, was no other than Trina and Emily, rushing in with a group of girls behind them. I had been planting a false hope in my head that I may not have to go through with this, but since today would be a day that many eyes would be upon me, I had to look nice.
They dragged me into the wash room in the quarters and started almost immediately. The usual process was taken and before I knew it, I was clad in, no longer my night dress, but a more elaborate, golden yellow dress. It was no one near as long as my wedding dress had been, nor any of my other dresses for that matter. It was much lighter and easier to walk in. Just as the young girl had finished wrapping my hair around the hot rod, the crown, the lovely crown that had been gifted to me just days ago, was placed atop of my head.
It was still very odd to look in the mirror and see the crown perched there, but this was me. This was the new, stronger Rosalie. The Queen of Narnia. Right. And just as I was being escorted out of the room, I felt Emily pull me aside.
"Did you like the perfume?" she asked hushed, two other girls beside her, grinning wildly.
"It was lovely," I answered," I loved it, thank you girls."
"I think a more appropriate question would be if Caspian liked it," the girl next to her quipped, chuckling as she did so.
Color flushed to my face, as well as Emily, who immediately scolded the girl, saying it was not her place. Soon after I tried to chuckle about the matter and replied by meekly saying," He did."
Embarrassed, I quickened my pace to where I was walking equal with Trina. Before we could leave, however, both Caspian and Apollo emerged from his study, fully clad in their armor. Ready to go off to war.
"Look at this," Trina mumbled in my ear," Both of our husbands, off to war."
I looked at her and nodded softly, she meant well and softly squeezed my hand before adding on to her comment," They'll be alright."
"Of course they will," I said aloud, while Caspian came by my side," I won't have it any other way."
Walking down the hallways were some of the most dreary times, but for some reason, they weren't nearly as awful as I imagined them to be. Most of the time was actually spent in pleasant conversation while stopping ever so briefly to chat with some men here and there and some other servants. There were plenty of tears shed after we came to the streets, however. Men were leaving their families, boys leaving their families, all sorts of tears were being shed.
It was heart wrenching to watch as they left the women crying, some even screaming for them to come back. Seeing all of this should have made me even more sad, but I think it may have been what I needed to see. In my heart, I felt a piece break for these crying women. I felt my heart bleed for them which drove me even more to be strong. It drove me to set an example for them. I wanted to relate with them. I wanted them to see that I was losing my husband as well and that I was going through the same thing as them…but that there was still hope for us yet.
Jacob, my brother, would not be the downfall of this great nation. Absolutely not. I would not allow it.
Just as we arrived at the end of the walkway, I felt Caspian squeeze my hand one last time. I looked ahead to see the rest of the army already forming and I saw two horses, one for him, and one for Apollo being brought so that they could ride to the front. Soon I saw Reepicheep run up in front of us along with his troop of mice, he tipped his ring to us before scurrying onward. Plenty of centaurs and other mystical creatures ran by us, finding their own spots in the marching line.
He looked me up and down before taking my other hand in his," I'm sorry that it has to be like this, Rosalie."
I looked at him, swallowing hard before answering," I have come to terms with it. It would be selfish for me to have you stay here, Caspian."
Tenderly, he leaned in and kissed my cheek, whispering in my ear," Love, I will be back. You may mark my words that I will not leave you alone for long."
Slowly, I pulled away from him," Do what you must do. Get the job done. Do not come home any sooner than when you absolutely can, when Narnia is absolutely safe."
A smile grew on his face as he released one of my hands," You will do an excellent job, Rosalie. Good bye, for now."
"Good bye," I whispered to him, squeezing his hand one last time before he walked away, leaving me standing alone in the street.
He walked over to his horse and climbed on, waiting for Apollo who was just now able to break away from a weeping Trina. Several moments later, Apollo was climbing onto his own steed and the both of them rode to the front of the army. All of the men looked impenetrable, strong in their mail chain and weapons at their side. Each of them held a shield in front of them and within moments they were already cleared out of the town, leaving in the streets, a crowd of weeping women and shrieking children. I looked over to see Trina, beautiful Trina, who had just appeared so strong, breaking down in the middle of the street, on her hands and knees.
Gently, I walked over to her, holding back a tear in my own eye. This was what Caspian was speaking of. Narnia once more, needed a leader, and I, Rosalie Sopespian, would be there to always take care of it. No matter what.
"Trina," I whispered, wrapping my arms around her," Trina, they'll be just fine."
She fell into my arms, still balling," I know, I know, dear, it's just that- I have never been apart from him like this. Never has he been in a war, you must understand this."
And with a tear running down my own face, I placed both of my hands on her shoulders as I leaned on the street wit her," You must be strong, Trina. They are going off to protect us, protect this marvelous nation. Now you and I must preserve it so that it is just as wonderful when they return."
She sniffled once before placing a hand on top of mine," You are ready for this?"
"I never said I was ready," I admitted to her, shaking my head," In fact, I probably could not be more unprepared, but I haven't a choice. I made a vow to both this country and to my husband that I would be there no matter what and this, look around at this Trina, this is most definitely not one of the perks of being married or being Queen, but it does not matter for I have my word to this country."
She nodded her head as she wiped away a tear," I believe," she sniffled," That we can do this."
"Of course we can," I smiled as I started to stand up," Now, let's show these women that we are here for them."
Author's Note: Alrighty, so there we go. I hope you guys are still enjoying the story, I have a lot more I want to do, but I haven't really been getting much feedback as of late and want to make sure ya'll are still interested! Let me know what you think :) All feedback is read by me and welcome! Love you guys!