Before The End
We woke up lying on the grass near the Ferris wheel. Is this romance under the stars? Yes, only for a sense of freedom. Tris nuzzled by my side the whole night, I almost did not close his eyes. It was the first time when I was a really happy guy, not precocious fighter. When the first rays of the summer sun woke up my lover, I could not recognize her - where has gone desperate, selfless girl, who considered herself as a complete selfish one? Here next to me she looked different, calmer. Lately, life constantly would present us with surprises, and none of us would know what would happen in the next moment.
I kept thinking about what is out there, behind the fence and whether we should go over the edge. Something told me that going to the end was not a very good idea, that it would be better to live as before, but there was no turning back. Our peaceful past ended when Erudite used their modulation serum. Tris... She lost her parents and best friend, but how many people will die next? What if luck will turn back to us? I do not want to think about it when the summer sun shines brightly. Tris kissed me, and I gently returned the kiss. Maybe I would never understand her completely.
And then suddenly I felt something painful, that pinched my arm, not exactly something - it was Tris. Probably, I thought too much.
- Hey, that's enough, I'm already here, - I uttered for fun.
- Well, but don't fly away without me, okay? - She kissed me again. The feeling of having her next to me is the truly bliss.
- Okay, just ask first, and then act.
It was such a time, when any serious conversation could turn into quite serious, even humorous.
- What shall we do, eh? I've been pondering over in what way people lived before us, when society has not yet been divided into fractions. Do you think a lot has changed since then? - Suddenly Tris asked me.
Sometimes I had thoughts about that too. That record strongly influenced our world and allowed us to look fresh at the arrange which we were accustomed. Our town was the only one where it was possible to recreate the appearance of a harmony, but apparently it didn't last as long as it was expected.
- Why are you silent? I've personally thought that the division of people into factions severed people.
- Please, let's not talk about that, Tris. I think the world has changed little since then. I am certainly not one of Erudite, but I think even they do not know how people lived many centuries or even millennia ago.
At this point we have finished this unpleasant conversation. And then I realized that I had absolutely no idea which topic was still possible to talk.
- If we act, evil thoughts will disappear by themselves, - Tris assumed suddenly. - How about to re-engage overcoming your fear of heights? Ferris wheel is nearby.
The idea struck me as more than crazy, but I remembered the competition when we had to capture the flag, when Tris tried to figure out where the hidden flag of Eric's team using the Ferris wheel. Only the determination of this irrepressible girl didn't let me fall. I think the development of our relationship started then. I realized how much she meant to me.
- Well, we will climb or not?
- I think the second climbing will be easier than the first, but we'll see.
A first strap attachment already staggered underfoot. Tris was here with me, so I almost did not fear. I knew that she would not let me fall. The first step was not as difficult as climbing further - the closer seemed the top, the more insecure I felt. And of course Tris noticed a change in my mood.
- Should we go down? You said that this time it would be easier, - she said with barely perceptible sarcasm in her voice.
- No. I said it would be easier - it will be so.
We continued to climb up, leaving behind each another bar and feeling of solid ground under our feet. Tris moved slowly, so she allowed us to move towards the goal evenly together. I do not know how long it lasted, but the wind blowing in her face meant that we were already high enough. Tris... Unlike me, she was not nervous. In those situations in which I became weak and defenseless, she always stayed strong and confident. The right to choose has forever changed our lives. If we had stayed where we were born, all the things would have been different, not better or worse, just different.
- Are you still thinking about something? - Tris asked me when we reached the top.
- I'm always about something thinking, aren't you too?
I knew Tris constantly thought about something, like me, because I could see such expression on her face.
- You're right, I also think a lot, but most of my thoughts about you, - admitted Tris, and my heart became warmer.
- Similarly, - I laughed and took her hand. She smiled at me, and then suddenly pulled me up.
Soon we reached the top. With the aerial view all looked so tiny and meaningless. Being here, I could only think about my fear of heights.
- Do you like to be here? Someday you'll be able to enjoy it as well as I do.
We sat at the top maybe half an hour, and then began to go down slowly. Going down was not as uncomfortable as climbing up. I hope Tris didn't think about something sad, because I never wanted her to be sad, I liked to see her smile and hear fervent laughter. Each time life put us down on our knees, but I sincerely believed that we were able to pass any test.
In a few more minutes we finally got back to the ground. It was so nice to feel solid ground underfoot. Height is something that cannot be controlled by you; the space above the ground is so dangerous. Am I afraid to fall and break? No, I'm afraid to lose control.
- Well, was it easier? You're looking so funny, - faltered Tris, clapping me on a shoulder, and I decided to be politely silent.
Our first peaceful adventure came to an end. We were tired and happy, lying back on the grass. The sun was shining brightly in the sky, the clouds formed amazing figures, and we tried to recognize them.
- Do you think we will be able to repeat it? - My darling asked me suddenly, and I didn't know what to say.
- I cannot promise anything, so we should better enjoy what we already have.
We laid a hand to hand, facing each other. The world has never seemed so beautiful. We did not talk about anything; we just gave to each other affection, love and tenderness.
While we were lying on the grass, I was thinking not only about Tris. My mother... When she suddenly came back in my life, I was stuck between her and Tris.
Tris touched my lips with her finger, and I kissed it. Clasping her hands around my neck, Tris moved closer to me. I didn't rush things; we just enjoyed the contact of our bodies.
- I love you, - Tris whispered in my ear. She told me about it more often than me.
- I love you too, - I answered with such whisper.
Soon it was time to go back to the train; this day could not last forever.
When the following summer came, she was not with me. I continued to love Tris and honored her memory. Mom says that sooner or later my wounds will be healed. There is nothing eternal in the world, everything is changing. I still cannot look into the eyes of Caleb. But I will not give up, I will continue to live, Tris would like it. Once I really hoped that we would be together forever, but I was wrong, none of our hopes came into real. And I'll always remember the happiest summer in my life. The memory of it is full of my warmest thoughts and hopes.