The Twilight Hater

Summary

Isabel Ferguson was not amused. She hated twilight, would always hate twilight, and now she was in the stupid thing. "What did you do stab Cullen with a pencil?" "No, but I really really wanted to."

Genre:
Humor
Author:
LadyRavenJade
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
14
Rating:
4.5 8 reviews
Age Rating:
13+

Chapter 1

The Twilight hater

Sum: Isabel Ferguson was not amused. She hated twilight, would always hate twilight, and now she was in the stupid thing. "What did you do stab Cullen with a pencil?" "No, but I really really wanted to."

Disclaimer: I don't own the books or movies.

(Alright hear is a warning people. This is about a Twilight hater becoming Bella so I must write down her thoughts and feelings about Twilight therefore don't flame me for it.)

Why do the fates that be, hate me?

Isabel had always loved her name that is before all the Twilight fans decide her name was so freaking awesome and that they should call her Bella without her permission. It wasn't even Isabella just Isabel. Why couldn't they call her Bell if they must give her a nickname? Besides she liked the name Isabel! Why couldn't anyone understand that?

Oh Isabel had read the books and at first she had even liked them. It was a nice little fantasy world really. Normal girl has a really hot vampire fall in love with her. She liked it enough to finish the books, but when she tried to reread them common sense kind of hit her on the head.

First of all the girl was not normal she was a Mary Sue. All online Mary Sue test agree that she was. The falling over everything was so lame and thinking she was ugly when she had no real faults and then everyone hitting on her was stupid. The girl was so messed up she had never had a human friend or boyfriend in her life. That was just sad.

And Edward was a stalker, a control freak, and apparently enjoyed causing himself a crap load of pain. This was fine until he tried to kill Bella's unborn baby. I mean what the hell! If that had been Isabel she would have gone physico on his ass! That was really what really pissed Isabel off and made her hate Edward. It was against the law to force someone to have an abortion. Edward went from nuts to abusive in Isabel's mind and that so ticked her off.

Oh the times she had daydreamed about telling Edward how the real world works. Speaking of the real world, real teenagers cuss constantly. That doesn't mean Bella had to have a potty mouth, but really 'Holy Crow'? The stupidity of twilight was something Isabel often contemplated because with her name no one would let her forget about.

She would not even go into the movies right now. Well she would try not to; Bell had a bit of problem with ranting at times. It was even more of a problem when she did it out loud, in the lunch room, surrounded by Twilight fans….like she just did? Oh god…the girl with the team Jacob shirt is sharpening her spoon! End Rant. Run Now!

She ran to her next class where she could read some real literature like Harry Potter or Anne Rice's vampire novels. The only person in there was this creepy girl who started off into space a lot. She was normally quite so Bell ignored her and sat down to read. Of course today the girl had to speck up.

"You don't like Twilight?" She asked in her dazed voice. Bell sighed.

"Well no Luna Lovegood no I don't."

"Who?"

"Never mind…" Bell didn't know the girl's real name so had deiced if she could have a book character's name so could the unnamed girl. If the girl had never heard of Luna Lovegood there was no hope for her.

"You don't like Twilight."

"Yes. I said that." Bell was irate now she wanted to read.

"Do you think you would make a better Bella Swan?"

Bell gave up on reading.

"Anyone would make a better main character then that unrounded idiot!" So much for reading.

"If you really think so." The creepy girl began glowing. And kept glowing. Bell started at her.

"Okay if Vampires sparkle what the fuck are you?" Bell became blinded by the glowing.

"Luna? What the hell?"

"Lu-"

"Well what do you think?" Asked a man in a police uniform in front of a red truck.

"Umm." How the hell had she got here? And why was there a cop? Bell hated cops. And it had nothing to do with her habit of steeling candy bars in gas stations! Okay be nice to cops. What is he asking about?

"That's a nice truck!" Was the first thing Bell blurted out hoping he was talking about the truck?

"I got it from- you like it?" He seemed surprised for some reason. Was she not supposed to like the truck?

" Yes! What's not to like about it?" Now that she was looking at the truck it looked old with chipped paint. This cheerful, happy, and energetic attitude was Bell's way of panicking and covering some things up. If he didn't stop talking to her who knows what could come out of her mouth?

"Ah…well it's yours. I bought it from Billy Black down at-"

Bell wasn't really listening. Why the hell had some police guy given her a truck? What was she supposed to do with it? She didn't even have her permit yet!

"He had his son fix it-"

"I love it! Thank you!" Who the crap are you?

"Well…you're welcome." Thank god the man seemed embarrassed and stopped specking.

He brought a suitcase out of the car and she found herself carrying it into the house. When inside she looked at him.

"You can go ahead and get yourself settled."

Uncertainly she walked upstairs.

She found a room that was mostly bare with a bed, dresser, computer, and rocking chair in it. Bell deiced the best course of action was to fall face first on the bed began going though every cussword she could think of in both English and Japanese. She was not Japanese nor could she fluently speck the language, but her love of Anima had inspired her to learn every cussword in the language. Anyway that was defiantly the best thing she could do.

After that she went through the suit case and found very few clothes inside mostly there were books, and hygiene products like a hair brush, tooth paste, and shampoo. The clothes she noted were completely not her style and wouldn't fit her anyway. Well, they shouldn't fit her…was it just the shock or did she feel different.

It was hard to stop the scream when she saw the mirror. What happened to her? Where was her short dyed red hair? Her beautiful blue eyes! Where was the pimple that started showing this morning and why her ears were not pierced! Okay. It wasn't that bad. Not really. The girl in the mirror was a perfect size unlike her own size 14. She had perfect skin. Wonderfully pale and not a freckle or pimple on her.

The eyes were a great lose. Boring brown eyes stared back at her. The hair wasn't that different from her own when it was long and not dyed different colors. She had actually missed her long hair. She would die it a natural red as soon as possible and then she would be fine. Red hair would look natural with this skin type even. So there. It was fine. No need to panic. She looked like a size 10. Down 4 sizes wasn't that a reason to celebrate? Ha ha ha ha. That's right this was great.

Tears ran down ugly brown eyes as the foreign mouth twisted into an insane smile that laughed in disbelief.

"Bella! Bella! Are you alright? Bella!"

"Dad." Bell muttered he was the only one she let called her that. But no it was that cop again.

"I heard you fall. Did you hit your head?" Bell was lying in bed where the cop had moved her. She had fainted.

"No. No I just got dizzy."

"Do you need the hospital?"

"No. No I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Well you rest. I'll bring you up a sandwich in awhile. Alright?"

"Alright. Thank you."

"No problem Bella." He smiled at her and she saw his name tag on his uniform. Chief Swan. It's a good thing he left because she fainted again.

(So good? bad? Cheese stick? And don't flame me for the hating Twilight rant. It had to be done.)

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