The Watermelon Thief

Summary

AU for Stiles and Lydia. They go shopping and one steals the other's perfect watermelon from their cart, hilarity ensues.

Genre:
Humor / Romance
Author:
stilinskiloveslydia
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
13+

Chapter 1


Stiles had turned his back for like two seconds tops. Really, only two seconds, but when he turned back to his cart the beautiful watermelon he had picked out for his barbecue with his family (Father: The Sheriff, Stepmother: Melissa McCall and step brother: Scott McCall) was gone.

“What the hell?” he muttered under his breath, glancing around. He couldn’t see it anywhere. What had it grown legs and decided it did not want to be eaten today?

Just as he was about to give up and go get one of the mediocre watermelons from the bin, he noticed a cart passing his, and what do you know, in that cart sat his watermelon.

Oh hell no, no one was going to get away with stealing his goddamn watermelon. His eyes flicked to the figure pushing the cart and his resolve faltered for a moment.

The watermelon thief was one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen. Her hair was this amazing red color, though it was almost blonde…if he had to name it, it would be…strawberry blonde.

She walked with a sway to her hips that would have rendered him speechless…had she not been a watermelon thief. She had stolen his watermelon, and no amount of beauty was going to keep him from getting it back.

Now Stiles wasn’t sure if he was proud of what ensued next…it was a tad childish, oh who was he kidding, it was EXTREMELY childish, but hey, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.

So for the next half hour he followed her, very discreetly, through the store. Stumbling around corners and diving behind canned food displays if she turned his way.

Soon, she left her cart alone to pick up some deli meats, and it was then that he made his move.

He stealthily crept up to the cart, and scooped the watermelon up into his arms and hightailed it the hell out of there. When he reached his cart he did a little victory dance as he set it down, earning a few stares from passersby.

He then continued with his trip that had been so rudely interrupted. He still needed to get soda, beer, and hot dog buns.

Now he really should have known better than to leave his basket alone again, but he was a stupid twenty one year old guy who was more concerned with what was the perfect beer to bring to the barbecue. He stepped two feet away from the cart and heard the click clacking of high heels. He felt his eyes grow wide as he spun around on the spot and found that the watermelon had disappeared again.

“God DAMMIT” he grunted, bring his palm to his face. He looked up and saw a flash of red disappearing around the corner.

“Oh dear fucking christ, this is not happening” he whispered to himself and took off around the corner, cart in tow.

The girl was placing the fruit into her cart again with a triumphant smile on her face. She looked so cute…no she looked evil, because she was, because she took his watermelon, evil. Cute evil watermelon thief…

He decided to suck it up and demand that she give it back, he had found it first.

So with a firm resolve he approached the girl. He stopped in front of her and opened his mouth…

“No” she said without looking up from her phone. His mouth closed and he made a face at her.

“What do you mean no?” he asked.

“I mean no, I’m not giving you this watermelon” she said, finally making eye contact with him. Wow her eyes were pretty…no, keep it together, she’s evil.

“I had it first and you stole it out of my cart” he said, somehow thinking that logic would work here.

“Okay well, I want it, so I’m buying it” she said, raising her eyebrows at him, a smug smile on her face.

“No” he said.

“Yes”

“Um no”

“Um yes”

“Oh my god please, I have to be at a family thing like now, and I’m supposed to bring that watermelon now just give it back” he groaned.

“Well what if I do too?” she countered.

“Well do you?” he asked, one eyebrow cocked.

“No, but I could maybe in the future, so I’m keeping it” she said, placing both hands on the handle of the cart, preparing to leave him. Right when she started walking, he pounced on the cart, grabbed the watermelon, and ran like hell. He didn’t even care about the rest of the things he needed, if he bought his god DAMN watermelon before she did, then it would be his and there would be nothing she could do about it.

So he raced through the aisles, knocking things over and bumping into people, but never deterred from his mission.

He thought he was home free when he broke through the barrier of aisles and saw the promised land of the cash registers, but alas, he was not.

He ran right into her. She must have taken an alternate route, figuring out what he was doing, and attempted to cut him off. She had jumped right in front of him, and now both lay on the floor. Now the watermelon was fine thank god, but it was rolling away from them.

Them both clambered toward it, pushing at the other.

At the last second he surged forward, his long fingers touching the smooth surface of the fruit. He pulled it toward him and some reflex left from age five told him to curl his entire body around it to prevent it being taken away again. He lay like that for a few moments, watermelon clutched to his chest. Everyone around him was completely silent.

A light giggle broke the silence, and gradually grew into full blown laughter.

He looked up and saw the beautiful girl sitting on the floor nearly in tears from her laughter. She was pointing at him and wiping at her eyes.

“Fine you win!” she gasped through the laughing fit.

When he imagined what she was seeing he couldn’t help but laugh as well. Soon the two were laughing so hard they actually were crying, clutching at their stomachs and gasping for breath.

Still laughing, Stiles stood up and offered the girl his hand, which she took.

“I’m Stiles by the way” he told her, grinning hugely.

“Lydia” she said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

The two made their way back to their carts chatting about fruit preferences and such. They stuck together for the next twenty minutes, picking out the items they had come to the store for and checked out together.

By the time it was time to leave, Stiles wasn’t sure he actually wanted to. And because of this he got a slightly crazy idea.

“Okay so this is going to be totally weird and feel free to say no…but since you said you don’t have any plans today, for which you would need the watermelon…would you maybe want to come with me to my thing?” he asked. Lydia beamed at him and nodded excitedly.

“Great! Um, you can follow me there, I’m driving the blue jeep” he said.

So, Stiles brought Lydia to the family barbecue, and then brought her to another, and another and another. In fact, Lydia became a regular fixture in Stiles’s life, soon became his whole life. And then the two of them would host the family barbecues, and of course they would always have the best watermelon ready to serve.

ere ...
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