Tom Riddle and the Snorelacks

Creative thinking

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Creative thinking

A loud noise later and they found themselves in Hogsmade as close to the school as Harry could get. As they walked Harry decided to strike up an ideal chit chat.

"It seems strange to me that the Shrieking Shack hasn't been built yet."

Tom arched an eyebrow, but after being successfully kidnapped, not that he would refer to it as such was in a good enough mood to humor the man and so he asks with polite interest.

"The Shrieking Shack sir?"

"It will be known as the most haunted place in Britain, despite the fact that it will host no ghost nor ghouls at all. The Whumping Willow will be planted at the same time for the same reason. You know Tom, we wizards make up the worst names for everything. Look out for the titles in the newspaper; you'll soon see that wizards adore hyphens."

Of course even if Professor Potter started out with a lecturing tone it soon turned to a bizarre ranting about any number of things. Tom knew this because it often happened in class.

"I'll make sure to do that Professor." Tom said agreeably, still very pleased about escaping hell on earth, however it was not be long before he realized there might be a problem.

"Professor? I suppose I'll be staying at Hogwarts with you until its time for the trip." Tom ventured leading up to the point.

"Of course Tom."

"And what of the Headmaster? Has he approved this?" What Tom wanted to say was that Dumbledore would throw a fit, but it never turned out well to seem to accuse Dumbledore of anything. He had to go about this carefully.

Harry snorted.

"Of course not, but there isn't anything he can do about it. You'll find wizarding laws are made to work in the illogical action's favor."

"Ahh." That wasn't very reassuring. Harry seemed able to tell Tom wasn't reassured so he elaborated.

"I have your guardian's permission after all and as I live at Hogwarts I am perfectly allowed to have guest."

"I see, Professor." Just because his Professor had the legal right didn't mean the orange menace would play by the same rules.

"Now if you're worried about Dumbledore-"Tom looked at him sharply, he knew he wasn't being obvious.

"-you shouldn't be. There's nothing legal he can do and everything else can be countered with…creative thinking. The man has crossed the line lately. You know, I find that some people don't know their limits because no one has ever made a point to enforce those limits."

"Indeed Professor." Tom said with obvious interest. If this was headed were he thought this was headed…

"We have a week to prepare my trip and collect any other early arrivals, which should leave us with a fair bit of time on our hands. As I was saying earlier it's not healthy for a man such as Dumbledore to not know his limits. So with that in mind, I've been thinking…What do you say you about having a little fun with our dear Transfiguration professor this week?"

Sometimes the urge to grin evilly was very hard to suppress whether you were future evil Dark Lords or fake seers.

The hat

Ahh…a Malfoy head at last. So few people knew anything about proper hair care and when you were a hat other people's hair became very important. No lace, no splitends, no nasty oily hair on this boy's head. It was enough to make the old hat sign in relief as it settled onto the marvelous head.

"Mr. Malfoy, I do hope you don't want a resorting?" He would be very miffed if he did.

"No of course not!" Salazar was pleased with the amount of horror in the boy's voice and even more so with the unpleasant imagines in the boy's head of how horribly everyone he knew would react to such a thing.

"Then what brings you to put the sorting hat on your head if you don't want to be sorted? Not that I mind, you do have nice hair."

"Nice hair, of course its nice hair its Malfoy's hair!" The boy thought smugly wondering how many people's hair the hat complimented.

"Not very many, you'd be amazed at the things in some of the first years hair and then when the Headmaster puts me on his wrinkled balding head-"

" The point is if you will Salazar." Helga remarked in a way that the boy could not hear her.

"Yes, yes I'm getting to it." It's been far too long since he was able to have a chat with someone even slightly intelligent that wasn't Rowena. They could let him have a moment.

"'but never mind that. What can I do for you?"

"I'm apparently here, because no one gave me any real instructions, to ask you to come on Professor Potter's trip. I don't know why, I fail to see the use of bringing a hat on a trip to, to wherever he feels like taking us…" He said the last bit sadly as it reminded him that he was being forced to spend the summer with the craziest Professor in the school and he didn't even know where they were going.

"Ah, yes. Horace did say something about that…"


"Well w-I'm thinking about it."


"Don't rush me. I'm 3/4th of the way decided."

"3/4th? How is someone 3/4th of the-"



"I say we put it to a vote."

"Splendid idea Rowena as usual."

"It is not splendid!"

"The lion vote is YEA!"

"Yea for me as well."

"Oh, really! Salazar…"

"I really should be there to look after my Snakes my dear. The young Malfoy is very lost at the moment, Helga…Look in his little well groomed head. He doesn't think this will turn out well, and I really should do my duty…"

As they could read each others thoughts she knew he was pulling at her heart strings, but it didn't make it any less true.

"And what of the other students! The younger ones! What if they get homesick! Who will be there to coddle them if you don't go!"

"Oh Godric!...You really think so?"

"I think it would make sense if a few of them were feeling out of sorts and besides sorting the sorting hat is here to council." Said Rowena as the voice of reason, but she couldn't help adding.

" And he's a seer Helga! You know how long it's been since I spoke to a seer? 742 years it has been. Nothing will go wrong that he won't foresee and plan for. Now enough of this. Salazar tell the boy yea!"

"Hurry up Sally! He's fidgety."

"Fine, fine, hopefully everything will be fine…and if its not... I'll blame Godric."


Smirking as well as he could in a hat Salazar turned his attention back to the nice hair, I mean the Malfoy.

"Alright I've decided-"

Bang! The door to the classroom flew open and in skipped the Divination Professor.

"Horace! Finished with the hat problem yet?"

"Oho! Harry! And Tom too what a nice surprise! I think we're making some head way now!"

"Tom!" Said Abraxas with relief and badly contained joy that he was not alone.

"Abraxas." Tom replied coolly staring at his minion wearing the sorting hat, in Slughorn's office. Nothing will surprise him anymore he decided, not when he just came from a conversation with his Professor about love potions vs. muggle drugs something called LSD, to lace lemon drops with of course.

"So Horace, my students and I can take care of the rest of this hat business. I have another special job for you if you're up to it?"

"Of course Harry! Anything for you my lad!"

"I require a tasteless love potion that can be added to lemon drops."

Tom stared at Harry. The man was no Slythrin. Really, he just said that to Slughorn of all people with no disregard-

Slughorn chuckled.

"Oho! Certainly my lad, certainly. I won't ask, of course. Oho!"

Never mind. It seemed the seer did know what he was doing and he hadn't ran out of surprises yet either. One day Tom vowed, he would build of a tolerance to his Professor.

Slughorn left for his lab and Harry strode over to a slightly stunned Abraxas and removed the sorting hat from his head. He placed in on Slughorn's desk and asked it how it's been.

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