Tom Riddle and the Snorelacks


Sorry, sorry this took along time and its not very long, however I believe it is a fairly good chapter, so was the last one despite the complaints I got.

Yes the last chapter wasn't as funny, but I had to get some character development in there somewhere. I was under the impression people liked that I was able to keep up a plot therefore in order to do so I need a character development chapter every 20 or so chapters at least.

On another note, I'm beginning to think we won't hit the trip until chapter 30 or so. There are just so many days I have to go though and so many characters that need to be brought into the story. Never fear that just means the story will be longer and therefore more awesome.

On another, another note my current poll shows 64% are for some kind of Harry/Tom %25 are against and %6 do not care. 92 people have taken my poll so far.

I've decided I shall wait and see if a way to add in Harry/Tom presents itself.

I like the idea of Tom having a crush on Harry however I shall not move in that direction if I feel I can't keep the humor as the main point of the story.

I must apologize to the 8% that want to see some action between the two because Tom is at the moment 15 and I can't think of an adult Harry in any reality that would have a physical relationship with a 15 year old. I may however make some hot one-shots if anyone would like that? They would not be added to this story, but posted as separate stories.

By all means go vote on my poll if you haven't yet, at the moment nothing is certain so you can still make a difference here.

So with all that out of the way enjoy this chapter called…


Harry thought it was a bit like keeping an enter circus from falling to their deaths on a tightrope.

In one corner we have the Vicious Reporter (Lion) who was just as capable of biting the hand that feeds instead of taking the meat given.

Next to the Vicious Reporter we have Child Rita (cub). A small reporter in training who was undoubtedly taking in every word and action so that she could copy her mother; out think her advisory and take them down like the predator she was.

Then over here we have the overconfident Heir of Slytherin (Wannabe lion tamer) who believes that he can stick his hand completely down the Vicious Reporter's throat without it being bitten off.

Now over there, is the Innocence Student Bystander (Volunteer from Audience). He doesn't know why he is there, in the ring. He did not expect to be attacked by the Vicious Reporter, and instead of the meat the creature craves, all he has to give is the peanuts he used to feed the elephants.

The tightrope is the dangerous balance our ever wonderful Fake Seer (Ringmaster) has somehow made, so that the goal can be accomplished with minimal injuries.

Yes, Harry thinks as the lion is closing its jaws around the Wannabe lion tamers arm, this really is kind of like a circus.

I wonder how much trouble they would get into if I took them to one? All this and we don't even have the…hmmm…now what would Abraxas be? Perhaps a Forced Volunteer from the Audience? That doesn't quite fit.

"An orphan you say?"

Oh, I almost missed the lion drawing blood; better not let her eat the whole arm. It's not good when they get a taste for human flesh you know.

"Mrs. Skeeter…" It's really bizarre when you have to refer to the evil creature that wants to eat you and your students as Mrs. I mean, I suppose it's always best to be polite, but I've never called a Dementor or a Dragon or anything else as vicious as what I now face, a Mrs.

Now that I think about it how do you tell the gender of a Dementor?

Oh right, right I'm getting off track. Need to say something menacing here.

"The past, the families, and the private lives of these boys are not in anyway your business. I expect to see a great many articles about Dumbledore, but none about my students."

To be a proper lion tamer one must always maintain their illusion of control. For in the circus, when you have lost the illusion, you could lose anything from the audience's interest to your very life.

"Please keep in mind they are minors and while they may give anonymous statements to the paper, their names are not to be used. You after all, must have permission to do more than that."

Now watch as the beast counters. "Well seeing as you're responsible for them at the time; with your permission I could-"

You must head her off before she senses weakness.

"You do not have it. If you would like to speak of backgrounds, I believe I could interest you in a few facts about Dumbledore's past yes?"

Only the highest grade of flesh will satisfy the Vicious Reporter now.

It was time for…Dumbledore's Past Revealed! Dun, Dun, Dun….

"As you may be aware Dumbledore grew up at…"

"Arriving at school with everyone knowing that his Father was a muggle hater…"

"Everyone knows he was brilliant and some know that his brother was not, of course few people remember his sister…"

"One summer, he befriended a young man that he felt was an equal in to his own brilliance. I'm talking of course about the young Gellert Grindelwald…"

"Rumor had it that they were more then friends though that I can not confirm..."

This was turning out to be extremely fun. Of course Dumbledore's history was rather long and it would have been boring to recite so much of it, if not for his very attentive audience.

Mrs. Skeeter, true to her inner beast, was nearly drooling as her quill speed along her parchment at a frightening speed. Young Rita, with eyes as large as galleons, did the same with her quill speeding across parchment as well, though Harry suspected that she was keeping track of things like facial expressions and tone of voice while her mother made sure to get every word said.

Septimus seemed so awed that he had forgotten to be uncomfortable in this setting; he looked at Harry with almost glazed eyes as he tried to sort all the new information out in his head.

Tom of course was most interesting, for he watched Harry speak with an almost disturbing intensity. What was Tom thinking now? Of course he would be nearly gleeful that Harry was ruining Dumbledore, but he was also calculating.

It was obvious that he was seeing Harry more and more as a possible threat or ally. Would this bring them closer or make him warier of Harry?

At least not letting Tom's name be dragged through the mud had to count for something right? Right.

So to close up this lovely perilous interview.

"And that was what became of Dumbledore's sister, and then of course Grindelwald fled to finish what Dumbledore helped him start alone. To this day the Dumbledore brothers are not on speaking terms; in fact I'm rather certain it was Aberforth who broke his brother's nose."

Harry leaned forward to stare evil in the face and give the last bit of the interview in a dramatic fashion.

"We may wonder Mrs. Skeeter why Dumbledore refused to atone for his sins. That instead of opposing the enemy he helped make, for he had shut himself off in a position of real power to help fight. No, instead of helping his country Albus Dumbledore prefers to meddle in the lives of the impressionable children that is our world's future."

Now time for the last nail in the coffin for ending Dumbledore's career at Hogwarts.

" It is my believe that Dumbledore's greater good is not for the greater good of the students; and as a teacher what is best for the students should always, always come first."

Oh yeah, that would so be quoted.

A marvelous ending if I do say so myself, thought Harry as he accepted the thanks Mrs. Skeeter gave him for the interview while waiting for little Rita to gather the last of her things so she could join his little collection of children that he was using as an experiment to see if he could change the world.

Harry was in fact feeling quite pleased with himself, now if only he could stop himself from smiling so he could still seem to be sad about Hedwig.

A brief check in with Abraxas.

Ever since Abraxas's parents had failed to kill his professor; when he had invaded their home (No, that wasn't right. No Malfoy should ever take the blame for anything), ever since his professor had had the audacity to break into their manor, and did not have the good sense to die (much better), Abraxas had tried to stay away from the man, or at the very least, not be alone with him.

However, do not think that just because he spent a majority of the time away from his insane professor that he was having a peaceful time. Oh no, Merlin forbid that he have a relaxing vacation!

He had, in the last few days, gotten yelled at by the caretaker who did not believe that he was here with permission, had to listen to Slughorn talk about his old school days for hours, and had gotten into a terrible argument with the sorting hat, he didn't know what its problem was, but he was beginning to think that the hat was bi-polar.

Mind you, this was all better than being in the presence of his professor, because he had yet to almost lose his hair when he wasn't around his professor. Yes, he was still angry about that razor and especially angry at Weasley for daring to attack him with that spell in their duel, which Abraxas had been winning by the way.

The last part of the duel where his professor had made the both them look like fools was to be ignored and forgotten for all of eternity.

Abraxas did not care if his professor was strangely competent at times, the slight against him and his family could not be forgiven! At least not while his vacation continued to get steadily worse.

That's right worse! It had gotten much worse thanks to a horrid, evil, and unpleasant turn of events!

Why, Abraxas thought as he mournfully gazed into the Gryffindor's narrowed eyes. Why is it always me?

Back to Harry.

Harry was blissfully unaware that there was unfolding drama back at Hogwarts, no he was having way too much fun to acknowledge, much less listen to his sense of doom at the moment.

Little Rita, the evil reporting lion cub, was an absolute pleasure in joining there little group.

Undoubtedly sensing where the weakness was she had already cornered Septimus trying to get him to tell her exactly was his thoughts and feelings for his professor was.

The boy was becoming quite flustered and if Harry didn't help out soon the entire school would ending up thinking that the boy had a crush on him.

Harry was fairly certain that, that was not true and that the boy was merely flustered at being asked those questions in the first place, still to anyone else that had seen the lions feed, it was obvious where that line of questioning was headed.

Now this was not what was so entertaining, no in fact Harry felt rather bad for Septimus and would help him out momentarily.

No the funny thing was Tom's expression as he realized that they had brought one of the creatures that had almost bitten off his metaphorical arm with them.

Oh yes, that was just priceless.

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